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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    I think selfish parenting is hard to define. It seems simple.if you put your wants before your child's NEEDS right? But what if your wants are always put at the bottom of the list? What if a mum never gets to do anything for herself? Is that really healthy?
    This is sometimes the problem. I hear so many mums, whether stay at home or working, who get zero down time. None at all. It just seems really unfair. Of course, some mums love doing it and feel that caring for the husband/children is what she wants and this is absolutely fine. But how many do we hear of begging for a break, even if it's just for a cuppa tea or a cry in the shower - alone!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    This is sometimes the problem. I hear so many mums, whether stay at home or working, who get zero down time. None at all. It just seems really unfair. Of course, some mums love doing it and feel that caring for the husband/children is what she wants and this is absolutely fine. But how many do we hear of begging for a break, even if it's just for a cuppa tea or a cry in the shower - alone!
    You have described me right there,
    That is the reason i enrolled ds in daycare, he doesn't attend anymore as i have no way to get him there.

    Doesn't matter If i am single or partnered,

    When single dss father sees him 6 hours a week (dinner, bath and bedtime) when partnered Dss father games the entire time he is not at work,

    Today i have held ds since 7 am as he is very sick, his father 'cant' take him cos he is gaming.

    When i do get him to settle out of my arms i have alot of housework to do.

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

  3. #73
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    Nemmi.

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I wonder if the going out drinking and not having enough money for food is some kind of mental health issue? Depression or something?

    I'm owed money by a friend who told me she was desperate as she needed food and bills paid. I'm not expecting to get it back as on Facebook I am always alerted to her expensive new shoes, new clothes and other purchases. Now I wonder if she just ran out of money and wanted some retail therapy - maybe some kind of addiction or something?

    That kind of lifestyle sounds like my worst nightmare. Imagine how stressful it must be.
    I don't think going out drinking all the time is a mental illness.
    I think too much gets blamed on mental illness these days.
    Some people are just bad parents. Straight up.
    Mental illness is a very real thing and many people suffer from it but I refuse to call selfish, immature, ignorant people mentally ill because that is disrespectful to people actually suffering mental illness.
    Seems like Everytime you stuff up instead of owning it you can just say you are sick and the pity party comes to your rescue.
    Having your priorities messed up and being mentally ill are two different things.

  5. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:

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  6. #75
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    I think my friend is mentally ill. I've suspected it for some time. And I do believe her shopping while going without basics is a part of it.

    Was just pondering. No need to get upset.

  7. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think my friend is mentally ill. I've suspected it for some time. And I do believe her shopping while going without basics is a part of it.

    Was just pondering. No need to get upset.
    Nah Benji not upset just saying.

  8. #77
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    Sorry if I offended anyone, I just fail to see how making selfish choices is bad. It is bad if it adversely affects the child/ren, but if everything is ok and you can afford the time and money, doing things for selfish reasons can be a positive thing. But if people want to assume otherwide and look for reasons to be offended, I really can't do much about that.

  9. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think my friend is mentally ill. I've suspected it for some time. And I do believe her shopping while going without basics is a part of it.

    Was just pondering. No need to get upset.
    I was quoting what you where saying but not directed specifically at you.

  10. #79
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    Fair enough Janesmum

    For some it is mental illness. My old boss was a terrible father, he did go out drinking all of the time. He was a raging alcoholic.

    Sure, some are just stoopid. But I don't think dismissing them all as idiots when some do have mental health issues is helpful either.

  11. #80
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    Are you a psychiatrist? Yeah - didn't think so If you were you wouldn't have written that post.

    I think you'll find things like alcohol abuse are often caused by mental illness. As are becoming addicted to different things, even shopping to extreme when you have no money - it is self destructive behaviour and a lot of the time is linked to mental illness.



    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    I don't think going out drinking all the time is a mental illness.
    I think too much gets blamed on mental illness these days.
    Some people are just bad parents. Straight up.
    Mental illness is a very real thing and many people suffer from it but I refuse to call selfish, immature, ignorant people mentally ill because that is disrespectful to people actually suffering mental illness.
    Seems like Everytime you stuff up instead of owning it you can just say you are sick and the pity party comes to your rescue.
    Having your priorities messed up and being mentally ill are two different things.

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