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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Misschief View Post
    The people who put kids in daycare while studying something they are never going to use, still contribute to the economy in some sene. Just not the way you would think.
    They pay daycare fees which keeps people employed.

    I know SAHM mums that put their kids in daycare for no particular reason at all. They just want a break and have some time for themselves. Is that being selfish?

    TBH, I don't think people are being selfish if they study something they will never use. I think their kids will be in daycare for 3 days a week, no matter what people choose to do during those 3 days.
    Some people prefer to sit in front of the TV all day for those 3 days.
    It is what they like to do with their "me" time.

    DS goes to daycare 2 days a week. On 1 day I do a 3 hour shift for LifeLine and after that I go home and do some sewing as these are 2 things I like to do when having my "me" time. It is none of people's business what I do with my time though.
    If I want to study something I will never use, than that is upto me. My child would be in daycare regardless.

    The only person who I believe is a bit selfish, is a friend of mine who is a SAHM with an 8 week old boy who is starting daycare in 4 weeks time.
    He is going for 2 days a week. She has no other kids.
    The reason for her putting her child in daycare at such a young age, is because she can't cope with the lack of sleep she's getting. Her son wakes up once a night and she can't handle that. She needs those 2 days to sleep.
    I wished my son only woke once a night at 8 weeks old :-\
    * who pays the daycare fees? If CCB does then the woman herself isn't contributing. Anyway paying daycare fees doesn't have the same economic effect as working and paying taxes.
    * there's a whole other thread I created a while back on SAHMs and daycare. I don't want to repeat a whole thread but basically 1-2 days off if you pay for it yourself good on you. Or if you have medical issues/ pre-school aged child and can't get a preschool spot then using daycare with government help is understandable.
    * I just think spending excessive time studying something you know you aren't going to use/work in is selfish and indulgent.
    * it sounds like there are other issues with your friend. Have you asked her for details/if she needs a hand? Perhaps the baby only wakes once but it's for 3 hours. Perhaps your friend has pnd?

  2. #52
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    I don't believe study is a bad thing ever. Even if you don't intend to use it it will help.

    I can think of *so* many of my friends that studied something completely different to the area they ended up in. At the end of the day employers want to see that someone can put in the hard yards, sometimes it isn't actually about what degree you have, just that you have one.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I don't believe study is a bad thing ever. Even if you don't intend to use it it will help.

    I can think of *so* many of my friends that studied something completely different to the area they ended up in. At the end of the day employers want to see that someone can put in the hard yards, sometimes it isn't actually about what degree you have, just that you have one.
    Exactly! Half the reason why I did my fashion design course was because I wasn't quite ready to start my uni course just yet, it would have taken too much time and dedication away from my son, and I don't think I could have coped with the stress. But I needed something to do to remain productive, and had applied for jobs without luck, so decided it would be good to do a less serious course for a year, as it would still keep my mind active. Besides, it looks better in a resume than just doing nothing!

    Sometimes people study hobby courses because they feel they aren't quite ready to do their "serious" course yet, so the hobby course prepares them for that.

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  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Does it matter? Is doing it selfishly a bad thing? Does it have to be seen negatively?
    Well usually being told that you're being selfish is intended negatively and as an insult?? *shrugs*

  7. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I don't believe study is a bad thing ever. Even if you don't intend to use it it will help.

    I can think of *so* many of my friends that studied something completely different to the area they ended up in. At the end of the day employers want to see that someone can put in the hard yards, sometimes it isn't actually about what degree you have, just that you have one.
    Good point.

    Id still call the person indulgent though if they were studying a specialised field (eg nursing) with having no intention of working in that field. Or if they intended in working in an area that didnt require a degree (eg house cleaning, recpetionist, retail assistant).

  8. #56
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    This is a little different because I intend to go into this field, but, I am enrolling in one unit at uni next year, instead of enrolling in the entire degree (which would mean I am unable claim hecs for) So it is almost $1000 out of pocket, as opposed to no money out of pocket. Which will take money away from our family finances, and we aren't int the greatest position. But my reasoning is, I have 4 kids, one that requires x amount of different therapies a week. I just don't know if I will be able to commit to uni even part time, so I am giving it a trial. It may turn out I was right, that I can't cope with it right now, with the kids at their age and all the extra appointments for DS2. And that I waste $1000. But even then at least I have one unit towards the degree if I put it on hold. But at least I am giving it a go, instead of sitting around and not trying to better myself. All study is important, even hobby study.

    What is hobby study anyway? What would hobby studies be? quilting? I have seen some amazing quilts along the way- no one could ever call them hobby quilts, in fact and Australian lady just sold her Art quilt for 70,000. Are what we call hobby studies actually forms of art? Music, craft, painting etc?? If so then they should be called artistic studies, the amount of time and energy that it takes to be good at music etc, well - hobby just doesn't begin to describe it really.



    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Good point.

    Id still call the person indulgent though if they were studying a specialised field (eg nursing) with having no intention of working in that field. Or if they intended in working in an area that didnt require a degree (eg house cleaning, recpetionist, retail assistant).
    Last edited by beebs; 31-07-2012 at 10:03.

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  10. #57
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    I just looked up the definition:

    self·ish/ˈselfiSH/

    Adjective:
    (of a person, action, or motive) Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.
    I would say even if a SAHM is using child care to, I dunno, go out and have a coffee this does not make her selfish. Most mothers do their best to seek quality child care to ensure that their little one is safe and cared for.

    Looking after yourself, in my opinion, isn't selfish. This is what annoys me about some parents attitudes - unless you dote on your children 24/7 and spend all of your money on your children you are selfish and don't love them.

    I am a mother but also human. Amiedoll has exactly the right attitude - that she will be a mother but has every right to pursue her hobbies and the things she enjoys.

    I know what it is like to devote every waking moment to my baby without indulging in my own interests as well. It was an extremely miserable time for me - and that isn't good for children.

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  12. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    This is a little different because I intend to go into this field, but, I am enrolling in one unit at uni next year, instead of enrolling in the entire degree (which would mean I am unable claim hecs for) So it is almost $1000 out of pocket, as opposed to no money out of pocket. Which will take money away from our family finances, and we aren't int the greatest position. But my reasoning is, I have 4 kids, one that requires x amount of different therapies a week. I just don't know if I will be able to commit to uni even part time, so I am giving it a trial. It may turn out I was right, that I can't cope with it right now, with the kids at their age and all the extra appointments for DS2. And that I waste $1000. But even then at least I have one unit towards the degree if I put it on hold. But at least I am giving it a go, instead of sitting around and not trying to better myself. All study is important, even hobby study.

    What is hobby study anyway? What would hobby studies be? quilting? I have seen some amazing quilts along the way- no one could ever call them hobby quilts, in fact and Australian lady just sold her Art quilt for 70,000. Are what we call hobby studies actually forms of art? Music, craft, painting etc?? If so then they should be called artistic studies, the amount of time and energy that it takes to be good at music etc, well - hobby just doesn't begin to describe it really.

    Although - I don't think you will see it as a bad thing, as I am not on unemployment?
    Good luck that sounds like a great plan to me. Doing a trial to see if something is for you that you think you might want to work in is more than OK in my books.

    I think for a field you intend/think you want to work in... Or a general degree with the aim of getting whatever graduate job is going...govt assistance is great. It's a small financial investment which will lead to tax revenue down the track.
    Can you get govt help with hecs/help for just one unit? $1,000 is a lot to be out of pocket.
    Last edited by VicPark; 31-07-2012 at 09:35.

  13. #59
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    No, she told me just enrol for the degree and do it one unit a semester on hecs, but I just feel a bit daunted by the thought of it. Baby steps!

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Good luck that sounds like a great plan to me. Doing a trial to see if something is for you that you think you might want to work in is more than OK in my books.

    I think for a field you intend/think you want to work in... Or a general degree with the aim of getting whatever graduate job is going...govt assistance is great. It's a small financial investment which will lead to tax revenue down the track.
    Can you get govt help with hecs/help for just one unit? $1,000 is a lot to be out of pocket.

  14. #60
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    Meh. I don't believe in 'selfish wants'. I study, work 3 days a week and single parent. I still manage to squeeze all those shocking things like wine, nights out and take away. I would never, ever listen to someone that had the nerve to call me selfish. Trying to get a degree for a future goal is NOT selfish. Working to keep a roof over my head is NOT selfish. The wine kinda is, but you gotta have balance.

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