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  1. #21
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    Lol! Anyway, it's completely okay to be "selfish" as a mother sometimes, as long as its not detrimental to your child's well being. Hey, if we don't look after ourselves and put ourselves first occasionally, no one else will!

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    No they don't, they just don't want to be continually judged for every tiny little thing.
    I wasn't judging. And yes Electric Pink, to the point of it being detrimental. But whatever...

  4. #23
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    Yes i agree two different scenarios and i don't think either are slefish.

    I do have a special needs son and so far i have attended every app because i want to find out the info and how much he has grown and what new meds they are going to give him etc so i am all up to date plus i ds really wants me there as he hats going to the hospital so he is very sooky to me.

    But if you need help there is nothing wrong with that me personally i could not do it.

    With the parents studying that is good so they are working towards a better future for the family.

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I wasn't judging. And yes Electric Pink, to the point of it being detrimental. But whatever...
    Errrr....? I'm not trying to argue with you???? Was just pointing out that I didn't feel that doing a hobby course was selfish?

  6. #25
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    I suppose it is slightly detrimental to the kids, I can't pass up a good fabric sale. Does that count?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~ElectricPink~ View Post
    Errrr....? I'm not trying to argue with you???? Was just pointing out that I didn't feel that doing a hobby course was selfish?

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  8. #26
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    dreadlockfairy is offline The best things in life.....aren't things!
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post

    To me, selfish parenting (and I am guilty of this myself in the past), is putting your own needs before that of the child- as in having "no money" for nappies/food/rent/etc yet can afford smokes and alcohol. Leaving the child/ren multiple times a week/fortnight to go party/drink/etc. To me that's selfish.

    Having said that, I also acknowledge as parents we do need to put ourselves and our needs first at times, but I don't think it should be at the expense of our children.

    Hope that all makes sense.
    Jeez! So it makes me selfish that my hub & I go out for dinner/drinks once a week (that's multiple times a fortnight)

    I am a full stay at home mum that dedicates every waking (& sleeping, we cosleep) to my kids. If I choose to spend money on myself & time on myself once a week, how the hell is that selfish parenting????

    Lol some people need to RELAX. It doesn't make you the devil to pursue your own interests without the kids. I am sooo sick of this holier than thou parenting competition on this forum. Who wins in the end? The most depressed, stressed out mother/housewife?

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    Hmmm I am "selfish" all of the time for a matyr *cough* I mean mother. I go out without DS and, shock horror, I enjoy it. I sometimes sleep in. Late. I have a glass or two of wine on weekends. We go away for the weekend sometimes without DS. I enjoy having a job and having things to look forward to.

    I don't think parenting and being happy is an either or scenario.

    DS is always well nourished, loved, cared for in every way. The fact that I have things I enjoy doesn't take anything away from him at all.

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    I don't see either of those examples as selfish. Studying isn't selfish. Neither is needing help or a break. I don't have a high needs child and I still sometimes get other people to take them to activities/school. Not often but on occasion and have never felt guilty about that. After all it's also nice for other people to be able spend time with them.
    I also have hobbies that take time away from my kids, and money but that is because I feel just because I'm a mother doesn't mean all my interests should be discarded. My kids are usually with DH while I'm having "my" time anyway
    Last edited by Wallflower; 30-07-2012 at 21:09.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I suppose it is slightly detrimental to the kids, I can't pass up a good fabric sale. Does that count?
    :O you terrible mother!!!! You should be ashamed of yourself!

    I can't resist fabric sales either....yet I never seem to get around to making anything! It just sits in the cupboard taking up space lol.
    MUST. RESIST. FABRIC. SALES!!!!!
    Last edited by ~ElectricPink~; 30-07-2012 at 21:11.

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    Share a book I hear what you're saying.

    I think anyone who does Significant (3+ days? Long term) study/play in an area they have no intention of working in is selfish.

    Selfish because it's taking time away from the kids. Selfish (and Im assuming here the person isnt working) because they're not contributing to society in an economic sense.

    Double the selfishness factor if that person is receiving welfare.They're tickling their own fancy and leaving others to pay tax.


 

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