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  1. #1
    OJandMe's Avatar
    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Default *spinoff* Were your parents 'disappointed' when you told them you were pregnant?

    Just reading another thread.... And thinking about my own family stuff and reactions and realised.....

    ALL the trouble I am having now with my father, stems from his disappointment in me not following the dreams and plans he had for me.

    And while it was never said, this disappointment that the choices I am making in my life have not followed the plans and hopes he had for me, have influenced a lot of the comments that have been said over the years....

    Which over ten years have burned and smouldered and sparked up until this point where the fire has erupted and I feel like walking away and having nothing to do with the man....

    On the other hand, my MIL and mother have been nothing but positive and happy (for the most part) just flowing with the choices DH and I are making and riding the wave with us...

    So my question is- Were/are your parents disappointed in your life choices because you didn't follow their plans, or are they pretty positive and supportive with watching you choose your own adventure?

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    I think so but they didn't show it. BUt at the same time they were thankful because DS got me off a really dark path.

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    my parents were disappointed i was born so..lol its
    nothing to do with my choices.

    my mum handed me
    over to foster care asap and my dad has told me many a time that he was disappointed that my mother went through with having me..

    so i do not have any respect for them...

  4. #4
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    I was 19, working and in a long term stable relationship and was engaged. My mum was disappointed. My dad was happy for me.
    DP and I told my mother recently that we were TTC as a joke.....she was still disappointed and burst into a speech about how I can finally 'live my life' now that DS is 8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Refresh View Post
    I think so but they didn't show it. BUt at the same time they were thankful because DS got me off a really dark path.
    This. Exactly.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to faroutbrusselsprout For This Useful Post:

    Ffrenchknickers  (30-07-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    This. Exactly.

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    faroutbrusselsprout  (30-07-2012)

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    My parents acted happy for me but told my sister (who then told me) that I probably wasn't going to do anything with my life now

    ETA: hate to break it to my parents but I am now doing a lot more with my life then before baby because now I have a reason to work harder and be a better person!
    Last edited by Mod-Zeddie; 30-07-2012 at 15:49.

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    I was 23 at the time so Shocked, yes - disappointed, not in the slightest

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    My Mum was shocked, but pretty happy for us.

    My MIL was shocked, but absolutely ecstatic and still is.

    My father was disappointed that I didn't finish uni first, go off an teach in some regional school, travel the world and eventually marry a banker or a lawyer,..... or better still, live near him so I could listen and clap to everything he is doing... He's still disappointed that I'm not doing that and it shows, although he 'tries' to be supportive... the messages in what he says just keeps harping back to "You should have just finished uni and went to some little regional school to teach and then married a white collar man and bought a big house with a big debt and had one or two kids,.... preferably one of each"

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    I don't even know how to answer this question.
    On the surface, they were supportive. But I recently found out that apparently my mother was HAPPY that I got pregnant at 18, and had nothing behind me to fall back on. That I'd be at home on welfare. That my life would be ruined. All so that I could be dependent on them in my adult life.
    THEN they soon realised that that wouldn't be the case, that in fact, at 18 and with a child, I was more ahead of them than they ever will be in their whole entire life. I was completely independent of them, and they were not happy about that, at all.
    After I had my second child, my father called me drunk and his bitterness and jealousy ended our relationship. For good. Eventually the same happened with my relationship with my mother and brother.


 

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