+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    440
    Thanks
    8
    Thanked
    30
    Reviews
    0

    Default Hyphenated names for kids after separation

    My ex and I split over a year ago and he has very little to do with the kids. He lives interstate andh has only met DD once in her life. He hasnt seen either child for 9 months now despite me offerong to pay half his airfare over and he has only managed to skype them 9 times in over a year. As a result I want to change the kids surname to mine so they feel like they belong to my family here (which is quite large and all share the same surname). He is refusing but has agreed to hyphenate. I had really wanted to avoid it as I think hyphenated names are confusing but it might be my only chance. Question being - for those with hyphenated names or kids with hyphenated names would it be better to put my name first or second? and also does that allow to me enrol them at school/medicare/bank etc with just my name or do i have to use both? Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    2,831
    Thanks
    1,054
    Thanked
    1,215
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have no idea what would be best, but will bump for you because I'm sure someone has some experience with hyphenated names.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to GirlsRock For This Useful Post:

    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Newcastle, NSW
    Posts
    6,648
    Thanks
    99
    Thanked
    862
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    DD1 has a hyphernated surname.
    For us the order was decided because it just sounded better one way round than the other.
    If the courts have to make a ruling on the decision they go with alphabetical order.

    I use her full name for all things official as i figure thats the right thing to do esp things where i have to provide a birth certificate.
    For other activities like swimming and ballet she's just enrolled with just my part of the surname.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to RmumR For This Useful Post:

    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    60
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    15
    Reviews
    0
    My brother and i are children of a relationship similar to yours. We have our fathers surname, my mum tried the hyphenated name, I hated it. Things get messy, you constantly have to explain yourself. Even though I have no relationship with my father, it doesn't bother me at all, and never has, that I have his name.

    I'm sure whatever you decide it will be in the best interest of your children.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Esmay For This Useful Post:

    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ocean Shores
    Posts
    3,562
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    114
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    My DS has a hyphenated surname, Mine first then his fathers. For school, Medicare etc he has to go by both but for some things I just put mine down. Kinda annoys me though that for anything official they shorten it to just the last name (his fathers).

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to flyawayfree For This Useful Post:

    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Sautéed with bacon
    Posts
    6,070
    Thanks
    271
    Thanked
    2,695
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Hi!
    I'm in the middle of legal proceedings to change DS's name for a lot of similar reasons to you. I've copied a response that I made last week to someone who wanted to change their child's name to their own. Thought it might be interesting??
    I think you should start a journal stating the EXACT relationship and contact..

    This was my response -
    You are able to call your child by her "new" hyphenated name as you wish but if your ex finds out and is not happy he can apply to the courts to stop you from doing this. A child's name is NOT allowed to be changed without both parents on the birth certificates signatures.
    Your daughter can use her hyphenate name but you will still have to enrol her in EVERYTHING (school, medicare, doctor etc, flights etc) as her birth name.
    If you are 100% convinced that it is HER best interests to have her name altered then you must first attempt mediation with your ex. You should also gather evidence to support your case, which can then be used later on in court if an agreement is unable to be made during mediation.
    You really should get a psychological report done by a qualified psychologist who can support that it is in fact in the best interest of the child. The psychologist should see the child on numerous occasions.
    You should also get letters from teachers, doctors etc to also state that they believe it is in the best interest of the child.
    You also have to write an affidavit supporting why you think it should be changed. This should include the fact that you support her relationship with her father.
    The minute a judge gets a sniff of malice or ill intent you will be thrown out. People try and do this all the time so you need to have a water tight case to present.
    If you can afford a lawyer I would strongly recommend it, it's not an easy process.
    If you are unable to do any of this I wouldn't bother to be honest.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to faroutbrusselsprout For This Useful Post:

    bubbaboyandbump  (31-07-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Tell me the names you wanted to name your kids when you were a kid
    By jake's mum in forum Choosing Baby Names
    Replies: 87
    Last Post: 11-04-2012, 16:21
  2. Names of kids toys
    By Eleven3Eleven in forum General Chat
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 23-02-2012, 14:57

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Xmas with a NEW Fridge-to-go Lunch Bag! Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Fridge-to-go 8 hour cooler bags are ideal under the Christmas tree! Now in modern lunch bag designs - fill them with toys and chocolate to make parents and kids happy! Stay super cool and eat healthy and fresh food all summer long!
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
Hills Swimming Kenthurst
Located in the beautiful suburb of Kenthurst and boasts a heated 25m pool. We conduct world-leading Baby and Parent Classes, Preschool Classes, School Age and Squad Training. Our classes are small, our service personal and our quality of the highest.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!