My ex and I split over a year ago and he has very little to do with the kids. He lives interstate andh has only met DD once in her life. He hasnt seen either child for 9 months now despite me offerong to pay half his airfare over and he has only managed to skype them 9 times in over a year. As a result I want to change the kids surname to mine so they feel like they belong to my family here (which is quite large and all share the same surname). He is refusing but has agreed to hyphenate. I had really wanted to avoid it as I think hyphenated names are confusing but it might be my only chance. Question being - for those with hyphenated names or kids with hyphenated names would it be better to put my name first or second? and also does that allow to me enrol them at school/medicare/bank etc with just my name or do i have to use both? Thanks!