+ Reply to Thread
Page 8 of 24 FirstFirst ... 67891018 ... LastLast
Results 71 to 80 of 240
  1. #71
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    379
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked
    49
    Reviews
    0
    My mum was that daughter and i was the baby, i am so greatfull to my grandparents for standing by my mum, my dad for staying with my mum and my mum for keeping me.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Zanne For This Useful Post:

    rosengold111  (29-07-2012),ShanandBoc  (29-07-2012)

  3. #72
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I would support my daughter as long as she didn't expect to live off welfare and bludge. I'd do whatever I could to ensure my daughter could finish school/uni and get set up with a good career (staying with me rent free, babysitting, not having to work as long as she's studying etc).
    But uni takes 3 years min - not the 6-12 months you say you would only help her for. How you choose to deal with the situation is your choice but there are confusing messages here. You don't want her to be a bludger and live off the state or you (which long term I get). But then you would only give her 6-12 months before you put her out... which would mean at best a cert 2 or 3 at tafe and a higher likelihood of living off welfare. Part of education is breaking the cycle of poverty. If she can't study, and has to do min wage jobs then she will be in poverty...

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Ana Gram  (29-07-2012),gluteousmaximus  (03-08-2012),~ElectricPink~  (29-07-2012)

  5. #73
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Under Your Bed
    Posts
    2,864
    Thanks
    2,361
    Thanked
    428
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Support any choice she made. I would encourage her to study or work. But wouldn't push till she was ready. My dad was 20 when e had me (close to 18 an males arnt as mature lol) his parents, my grandparents told my mum to abort me. She told the to "get f if they don't want anything to do with the baby get out the car now an you will never see us again". They stayed in the car.

  6. #74
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    6,372
    Thanks
    422
    Thanked
    1,168
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    Out of curiosity, do you feel the same way about other SAHM that are on government payments (that the lower their likelyhood is to study and the longer they'd be a burden), or just feel extra strong about it because it would be your daughter?
    Not picking you out specifically, just this post stood out to me.
    it is statistically true that for for most people, the longer someone goes without employment, the Harder it is to find work. The longer someone goes without training and education, the lower the qualification level they may ever receive. The lower the skill and experience someone has, the lower their earning capacity. Nobody wants their child to live in poverty. Anyone who has lived on centrelink can tell you it sucks. Furthermore, children from parents who are well educated are more likely to value education. This doesn't make it true for ALL, but research has shown these are the more likely outcomes.
    If someone WANTS to be a stay at home mum forever, that's cool. But for me, and my own child, I would be saying that they need to look at the big picture. Surviving off welfare long term is near impossible. Surviving on a min wage job is HARD. If you have a husband who can support you, that's fantastic.. but not all marriages last forever. What happens if in ten years you find he leaves you.. what happens if he passes away?

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to bumMum For This Useful Post:

    Arlais  (26-01-2014),MsTruth  (29-07-2012)

  8. #75
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    it is statistically true that for for most people, the longer someone goes without employment, the Harder it is to find work. The longer someone goes without training and education, the lower the qualification level they may ever receive. The lower the skill and experience someone has, the lower their earning capacity. Nobody wants their child to live in poverty. Anyone who has lived on centrelink can tell you it sucks. Furthermore, children from parents who are well educated are more likely to value education. This doesn't make it true for ALL, but research has shown these are the more likely outcomes.
    If someone WANTS to be a stay at home mum forever, that's cool. But for me, and my own child, I would be saying that they need to look at the big picture. Surviving off welfare long term is near impossible. Surviving on a min wage job is HARD. If you have a husband who can support you, that's fantastic.. but not all marriages last forever. What happens if in ten years you find he leaves you.. what happens if he passes away?

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub

    Completely 100% understood......but the post wasnt about finding future work...it said that the 18yr old would be less likely to study.

  9. #76
    London's Avatar
    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
    Winner 2012 - BubHubber you'd like to meet IRL
    Winner 2012 - Best Avatar

    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    11,392
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Also, 18 is an adult....cant force an adult to go to work or study. Can make rules for while that 18yr old is living under your roof, which is totally understandable, but you couldnt say to your 18yr old "omg your pregnant! Well I give you 6-12 months to raise the child then you HAVE to go get a job or study" ...well, *I* couldnt. I know how 18yr old me would have reacted to that ultimatum.

  10. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to London For This Useful Post:

    delirium  (29-07-2012),LoveLivesHere  (29-07-2012),rosengold111  (29-07-2012),~ElectricPink~  (29-07-2012)

  11. #77
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    19,600
    Thanks
    3,256
    Thanked
    4,044
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by rosengold111 View Post
    This ^
    Not every 18 yr old or teenager is hopeless!! I am 18 and pregnant and have lived life. I have diplomas that I completed throughout school as well as that school work, I have travelled overseas and all across Australia with my sport, I have a stable career and own my car !
    I bet my mother never would have thought I would achieve all of this before 18!
    It really gets me down that people older than me judge me as the "stereotypical teenage/young mother"
    And tell me I should have gone to UNI to study, I should have traveled, I should have got a job, I should have finished school, etc.
    Because I have done all these things.
    I think also you don't keel over and die from pregnancy. If anything you will only be 40 when your oldest is 21. You may decide to have more children and some mum's who start early have them over a 10-15 year period but for myself I'll be 42 when both my kids are over 18. I'm going to have a very very long time once my children are independent to have a career, travel etc without any dependants.

    (Hence my I really wouldn't want to be raising the baby myself... though I would if my child was incapable. But I really hope I raise children who are adults at 18)

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Boobycino For This Useful Post:

    rosengold111  (29-07-2012)

  13. #78
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Well 18 is legally an adult so i would not be treating my 18 year old adult daughter as a child and telling her what she can and can't do. I am 31- my mum babysits for me when i want to go out partying, I can't see how it's different to an 18 year old. I would treat it the same as if she were any age and pregnant- I would be over the moon and happy to support her, but also ready to step in if I believed she was not caring for her kid properly. 18 just means they're less likely to be set up in a career or financially, which would mean more support from us. I don't see any other way that it would make any difference. I know quite a few young mums- many of them far more mature and settled than me!

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to FearlessLeader For This Useful Post:

    grumpysmurf  (29-07-2012),shelle65  (29-07-2012),~ElectricPink~  (29-07-2012)

  15. #79
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    912
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked
    194
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I fell pregnant at 17. Told my parents and they told me all the negatives and I took that as disapproval.
    I kept the baby and didn't speak to my parents for 7 months. My mum called 2 days after ds was born and asked if they could come and see us and have been great ever since.

    If your daughter is pregnant I suggest you tread very carefully and talk openly about it.
    I went through a lot while pregnant, and I did it alone because I thought they didn't care when they actually dif

  16. #80
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Central Coast
    Posts
    173
    Thanks
    50
    Thanked
    29
    Reviews
    0
    Ditto London. I'm only 21 now and if my parents put that much pressure on me, they would have seen the back of me damn fast. I moved out of home and into my own rental when I was 16 years old, I was on welfare and still going to school and had a little job on the side.

    And rosengold... I completely agree with you too. Spot on! Not all young people are hopeless and incapable of making good choices with their lives.
    An 18 year old is an adult and able to make their own decisions (clearly, since she would hypothetically be committing to a child). I don't think they'd be less likely to study at all. I think they'd be more likely to go back and study because they would still be young.

    I would have faith in the way that I raised my daughter! Why would she become a dole bludger if you raised her right in the first place with a decent set of beliefs?? Me and my partner will be role models for them, not dictators. None of this "do as I say" crap.

    I don't want to control my kids. I want to respect them and have faith in them to make the right choices and live their lives the way it makes sense to them. Sure, I want them to have aspirations, but I don't want to be an overbearing mother.

    Unconditional love and support. No matter what. And on that note, I'm done here.
    Last edited by LollyLu; 29-07-2012 at 18:30.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to LollyLu For This Useful Post:

    rosengold111  (29-07-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. how would you feel/react?
    By pene in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 01-08-2012, 16:06
  2. How would react to a txt like this?
    By brooke88(mum2b09) in forum General Chat
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 09-07-2012, 18:10
  3. Did i over react?
    By ShanandBoc in forum General Chat
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 01-02-2012, 11:12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
BAE The Label
Versatile, premium maternity wear that you will love throughout pregnancy and long after. Cleverly designed for for all stages of motherhood so that you can 'Just be you (+1)'.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Little Rugby NSW
Catch, weave, chase, run, but most of all have FUN! Little Rugby runs a NSW network of fun, safe and non-contact footy classes for BOYS and GIRLS aged 2yrs – 7th birthday.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!