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  1. #61
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    I don't know... there's some 18 year olds I think would need to live at home or have the child out of their care and some who start families at 18 and age is totally irrelevant.

    So it would really depend on how and why and what. I think I would probably encourage my child to move out so they can be independent, help them find a rental, help them with c'link, show them how to budget, help them set up a home, nearby to me so I'm always here. But I'd really really I think want to avoid me having another baby to raise.

    Though who am I kidding. Lol.

    But I do think 16 or 36 I would want to be an involved grandma. I'd want to be there for practical, emotional and financial support for my children regardless.

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    Last edited by Boobycino; 29-07-2012 at 17:19.

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    I won't lie, I would be disappointed bc I want her to go on to university or get a trade before having kids. But once that initial feeling was over I would support her. No point crying over spilt milk.

    As to it being said they wouldn't allow their 18 year old adult child to access welfare... ummm that is her choice. I would rather (if the father wasn't in the picture) stay living with us so we could help while she got some quals.

    Punishing her by kicking her out or stopping her accessing financial assistance (which I couldn't even if I wanted to), is only going to make things worse. I would rather, like I say, she stayed living with us while doing uni/a trade, then to boot her out and her work min wage jobs for the rest of her life, poor and unhappy.
    Last edited by delirium; 29-07-2012 at 17:22. Reason: typo

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  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosengold111 View Post
    Thankyou all of you lovely mothers! I just want to know how to react when I tell my mother.. I however have been with my DP for three years, both have full time jobs and have bought a house together.. So as you can see its quite different to what you all THINK may happen
    Congrats

  5. #64
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    Well i wouldn't be thrilled about it but i would certainly offer all my love and support, after all she is still my daughter. I'd help out in whatever way i could and i know my DH feels the same as we have discussed all sorts of 'what if's' including this one.

  6. #65
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    London is offline “I think we're losing our sense of humor instead of being able to relax and laugh at ourselves" - Betty White
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I think 6-12 months at home on welfare/grandparents generosity is fair enough. I'd just be worried the longer the daughter was a SAHM, the lower the likelihood shed actually continue with study. And the longer she'd be a financial burden to her family/the state.
    Out of curiosity, do you feel the same way about other SAHM that are on government payments (that the lower their likelyhood is to study and the longer they'd be a burden), or just feel extra strong about it because it would be your daughter?
    Not picking you out specifically, just this post stood out to me.

  7. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?
    I think you make a very good point here. I wouldn't be expecting her to work the first few years, and maybe study part time after the child was a year old or so. But that's bc I value education beyond almost anything. I got my quals before I married and had kids, and while I'm a SAHM now, I can return any time I want.

  8. #67
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    I would want her to have or be working towards a career, study, apprenticship, or whatever... But if she fell pregnant i would not feel as though it was the end of the world. I would help her as much as she needed in order to continue having a career goal etc.

  9. #68
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    Support her with what ever she wants to do.
    I got pregnant at 18, it's not the end of the world.
    This but I was 17 and pregnant

    My parents and family were all very supportive

  10. #69
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I would continue to love and support her.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I would be disappointed, but I would support my daughter with whatever choice she made.
    pretty much this.

    my hope for both my kids is for them to finish school/uni, travel, enjoy their own live, before bringing another life into the world...but that is MY plan and I fully respect THEIR plan might be different lol

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