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    Quote Originally Posted by LollyLu View Post
    I don't really agree with discussing termination on here, as it may make people feel alienated or peer pressured to comply with others opinions. It's a very sensitive topic and probably very uncomfortable for some people.

    I understand that everyone is only giving their own personal opinions... but... I don't think people need to be making a point about the fact that they disagree with it. I just think it's inconsiderate and may make some people feel judged basically... It's too controversial.
    Sorry but I disagree, I hope when making a decision regarding the continuing of terminating of a pregnancy people make the decision based on their own personal values and set of circumstances- not on what a stranger said they would feel in the case of their daughter in that situation. I'm not judging others' decisions, simply answering how I would feel if my child decided to do that.

  2. #52
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    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by LollyLu View Post
    Also in regards to termination... It doesn't matter whether we agree or not. I think agreeing or disagreeing with them is completely irrelevant. It's a personal choice and everyone deserves the right to choose, and the respect for making that decision.... no matter what age they are, or their own personal reasons for making that decision.

    I don't really agree with discussing termination on here, as it may make people feel alienated or peer pressured to comply with others opinions. It's a very sensitive topic and probably very uncomfortable for some people.

    I understand that everyone is only giving their own personal opinions... but... I don't think people need to be making a point about the fact that they disagree with it. I just think it's inconsiderate and may make some people feel judged basically... It's too controversial.
    Come on. Abortion forms part of an answer to the question. And the to-be grandparents views on it plays an important role in the dynamics of the question too.

    From what I've seen the posts on this thread have not been nasty.

    Women need to accept that abortion will come up from time to time on a pregnancy/kid forum.

    Let's not take censorship too far.

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    I'd ask her how she feels about it, offer to raise the kid ourselves (DH and I), if she wants to raise it I'd ask her and the father to move in with us so we could provide the support they need.

    I would hope she would want to do things the same way I would want her to, but I would understand if she didn't.

    ETA I'd absolutely council her against an abortion. I'd be devastated if she did.
    Last edited by BlissedOut; 29-07-2012 at 17:02.

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?
    I think 6-12 months at home on welfare/grandparents generosity is fair enough. I'd just be worried the longer the daughter was a SAHM, the lower the likelihood shed actually continue with study. And the longer she'd be a financial burden to her family/the state.

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?
    Agreed! It is hard enough trying to adjust to becoming a parent at a young age, never mind being expected to go straight back to work/study on top of that!

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?
    my problem with this would be that I would worry that if my 18 year old daughter stayed at home for 5 years that she would be behind people of her age in finding work. I would hate to see my child in a dead end job, or unable to get off the welfare trap because of getting pregnant when she was 18.

    I would support my daughter in raising her child but I would not raise it for her and I would expect her to continue with studying, even part time, to secure a future for herself and her child.

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?
    I am too, but most of our friends married young, then had kids young, being a SAHM in our circles is the 'ideal'. Some study once their kids are in school and if they want to have careers have careers, but most of us see child raising as our first job.

    FTR, I don't think a single one of us gets SPP or PPP.

    Physically it's better to breed at this age, the only reason it's sometimes not best to breed at this age is the way our society is structured around marriage, education and careers. But even then, women who have built successful careers, then want kids, but don't want to get behind in their career have big problems too.

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    I Have a 18 yr DD, we have talked about this in great detail many times over the last few years. I wanted her to know that we would be there for her, so that she never felt she had to hide anything from us. We are very conservative in our view on sex before marriage but we are bigger on loving and supporting no matter the situation.

    I would support her and the baby in every way. If she wanted to be a sahm that would be ok too, if she wanted to continue her uni degree we would help her with that. If she wanted to get a job, I would babysit for her to do that. We have even talked about myself and my hubby raising the child if she felt she couldn't

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?
    This ^
    Not every 18 yr old or teenager is hopeless!! I am 18 and pregnant and have lived life. I have diplomas that I completed throughout school as well as that school work, I have travelled overseas and all across Australia with my sport, I have a stable career and own my car !
    I bet my mother never would have thought I would achieve all of this before 18!
    It really gets me down that people older than me judge me as the "stereotypical teenage/young mother"
    And tell me I should have gone to UNI to study, I should have traveled, I should have got a job, I should have finished school, etc.
    Because I have done all these things.

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