I would be upset honestly because I have told her time and time again to not do what I did and have children at 18. She has so much she can do and live life travel, finish school etc and a baby makes that much more difficult. I have told her that welfare isnt an option that she would then have to get a job and not be able to do all the fun things she could have without a child. I also let her know that there is no option for forced child support that the father can walk off and she would have to do it on her own and she agrees that forcing child support is not ok and knows what she would have to do to avoid that. I also told her that even if she hates the guy she could very well be stuck dealing with him for 18 years if he wants to be involved in the child life. Thank god she doesnt want kids into late 20s hope it stays that way.
I also would support her and love her and make sure she had what she needed for the baby of course but I would be very disappointed because I hope she will learn from my mistakes, and how hard it was for me to get to where I am with children.
If she was under 18 it would go up for adoption if she couldnt support it herself with the above statements. We dont believe in abortions so that is where adoption came up.
Last edited by Lovemyfam; 07-02-2013 at 14:07.
My DD have talked about a lot over the years. While she is now over 18, my reaction would still be the same. I support her keeping the baby even to the extent of taking the baby on as my own.
She knows there is nothing she could ever do to stop me loving her. In fact all my kids know that.
I see where you are coming from, I had my first baby at 18 then one at 20 then one at 22 (roughly) and it did make things a ton harder trying to raise kids, and go to college and work but I managed and have only received welfare 2 (sporadically not in one go) of the 17 years I have been a parent not all young parents go on welfare. I struggled at times but when you are determined to do things you usually find a way to make it happen no matter what age you are.Originally Posted by callmedragon22
And wow I'm amazed at how many people assume that their kids would have to be on welfare, etc! DF and I rent our own place, own both our cars, pay all our own bills and have a household income of 65k... Why does everyone automatically jump to the assumption that young parents are dole bludgers? Drives me up the wall!!
And you know what, if my 18 y/o daughter decides she wants to be a SAHM instead of studying, then I'll support her in that too. Not everything in life comes down to how many degrees you have, nor is Uni going to go anywhere if she decides later on that she wants to study.
I don't have a daughter but I was 18 and pg. I would be supportive!
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My mum always told me when I was a teenage that she wouldn't take care of it for me (not even to go to school), and I would have to look after the baby myself.
And I agree with what she said, if it was my daughter (and I wasn't retired) I wouldn't look after it either, other than occasionally for visits etc. I know of alot of teen mums who have handled their children on their own very well, so I don't think it is cruel to refuse to help. I have also seen teen mums take no responsibility for their children and leave them at home with the grandparents while they party (when the babies were newborns!). I wouldn't want a daughter like that.
I would tell her she's a complete idiot like her mother, aunty and granma
Of course I would support her and help her out where I can, and for that matter if my 18 year old son came to me and told me he knocked up a chick and wanted to keep the baby, I'd be supportive of him too.
What an interesting thread as there are women on BH who are actively TTC and 18, think ill read through
I also understand what you said about being the grandparent and not babysitting often - my dad refuses to and my mum lives too far away so I don't have that option either. Makes you really think seriously about what you're going to do.
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