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  1. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by ck2b View Post
    I didn't mean looks had anything to do with aspirations...I meant an attractive girl is more likely to have guys chasing her. DH is always trying to come up with ways to make her ugly..LOL.

    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub
    A stunner is no more likely to end up knocked up as a teenager as someone who is not-so-stunning. I was 18 when I fell pregnant. Not a stunner. Nor are the million teenage girls I see around here with babies. Most aren't flawless beauties... so I'd say beauty has little to do with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by ck2b View Post
    I guess when I think aspirations I think of the life I led. From being a lifeguard in the states at 20, to being in charge of a hospital in the African desert at 30. I think big in my goals and hope my kids do to. I don't judge others whose aspirations aren't what mine where but for me and what I was taught from my parents, a child at 18 would mean an end to any big aspirations. No offense to anyone..I didn't keep a pregnancy at 15 for just these reasons. Children impact immensely on where life takes you, and depending on where you want to go is how much it will impact. For me and my children and what's normal for my family, a child that young would but an end to that. I'm not going to apologize for it.

    Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using BubHub
    I do agree with this though. As I said, I had my daughter when I was 19 (18 when pregnant). It has made things so very difficult in terms of acheiving goals... things that would be a cinch if I was childless. She's 7, I'm 26, and I love her... but yeah, it's not what I want for my daughter. She deserves to get to know herself, to spend her life being young and carefree and selfish... because there'll never be another time in her life that she can do that guilt-free (or easily) as she will when she's young and just starting out in the world.

  2. #172
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    Default How would you react if your daughter were 18 & Preg?

    I would respect my daughter as an ADULT and a WOMAN and support her in any decision she made.

    I too am shocked at the people who say they wouldn't "allow" their ADULT daughter to access welfare. At 18, I know where I'd tell my parents to shove their ultimatums.

    When I went to my parents at 21, single & 21 weeks pregnant (no option to terminate) their support was amazing and without it I would hate to think how my life would be. I would like to think I would be as supportive as they were and offer my unconditional love to my daughter.

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  4. #173
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    I do get where people are coming from with the whole "end of life" thing, haha. I fell pregnant at 19. It has made things a lot harder and there are definitely times where I miss my freedom like crazy.

    I will say, however, that having DS has made me more hard working and ambitious than ever. Going back to uni next year is going to be tough but I probably wouldn't have gone back to uni had I not had DS....plus I wouldn't choose not to have DS if I was given the chance to turn back time.

    So I would be a little sad for my hypotherical daughter but if she insisted on having a baby at 18 then hey, it has it's own set of joys that no amount of traveling can bring. I'd secretly be quite excited for a grandbaby too

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  6. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanuthead View Post
    I would respect my daughter as an ADULT and a WOMAN and support her in any decision she made.

    I too am shocked at the people who say they wouldn't "allow" their ADULT daughter to access welfare. At 18, I know where I'd tell my parents to shove their ultimatums.

    When I went to my parents at 21, single & 21 weeks pregnant (no option to terminate) their support was amazing and without it I would hate to think how my life would be. I would like to think I would be as supportive as they were and offer my unconditional love to my daughter.
    Wow...perfectly stated.

  7. #175
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    Default Re: How would you react if your daughter were 18 & Preg?

    Quote Originally Posted by rosengold111 View Post
    Just wanted to say Thankyou guys! I now know or may har a glimpse inside y mothers mind you guys are great support !
    How did you go telling your parents??

    I am 20 years old and although have not achieved as much as you I believe I am mentally physically and emotionally ready to have my baby.... but I was still **** scared to tell my parents even though they respected my dp and we have been together 3 1/2 years.

    My mother has some sort of power I swear! When I was little she would always say "mother's know everything" well I think she may just ...
    As I found out u was pregnant while she was away on a 3 month holiday. I picked her up from the airport and half an hour on the way home she asked me if I was pregnant .... how she knew is beyond me.
    Well we got home as I still live with my parents (only to save a deposit fir a house, I'm not a bludger) bad within a couple of weeks she started clearing out my now nursery .... in excitement.

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    Default Re: How would you react if your daughter were 18 & Preg?

    Quote Originally Posted by rosengold111 View Post
    Just thought I'd let you all now that I MC anyway. Looks like I don't have to face mum after all.
    Oh my goodness I am so sorry I only read half the tread before getting getting excited about comparing our stories!!! I read the other half after.
    I am so glad to see your doing well. And when it happens you will be more courages then ever!

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  9. #177
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    Default Re: How would you react if your daughter were 18 & Preg?

    I would hope that by 18 my dd will have a career lined up or in the making and her own place with a steady relationship and i would be nothing other than happy for her. I wouldnt support her financially as i hope by 18 my children will have sorted themselves out, as i had. But if i can babysit while she works, or wants a night off then i would but i would do that for her if she was 30 too.

    It would really be none of my business. If she was left in the lurch by the father and wasnt coping i would help out a bit more too but at 18 she is more than capapble of raising a child and still having a great life.

    to me, theres a big difference between 15 and 17. but not 18-30.
    if that makes sence
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  11. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissTashyAlice View Post
    How did you go telling your parents??
    I made my friend come with me.. should have had my partner there but i just wanted to get it over and done with! Told mum first.. she just laughed and told me i had to be joking lol and then screamed and said GO TELL YOUR FATHER! but she wasnt angry just shocked i guess. and i couldnt even tell dad, burst out crying and he guessed lol.... but after a few days they came around. took mum longer than dad!

  12. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissTashyAlice View Post
    Oh my goodness I am so sorry I only read half the tread before getting getting excited about comparing our stories!!! I read the other half after.
    I am so glad to see your doing well. And when it happens you will be more courages then ever!

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub
    Turns out i didnt MC after all, false alarm. all has been well now and the Grandies are over the moon!!!! thankyou for your support

  13. #180
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    Default How would you react if your daughter were 18 & Preg?

    I'm so glad to hear your mc was a false alarm.

    I'd be unbelievably excited to be a nana, just like my mother was when I told her I was pregnant at 18 she loves DS to bits and calls me constantly asking when I'm coming over so she can see her baby and is already planning on what they're going to do together when he's old enough (only 15 weeks atm) to sleepover at Gammy's house.

    And wow I'm amazed at how many people assume that their kids would have to be on welfare, etc! DF and I rent our own place, own both our cars, pay all our own bills and have a household income of 65k... Why does everyone automatically jump to the assumption that young parents are dole bludgers? Drives me up the wall!!
    And you know what, if my 18 y/o daughter decides she wants to be a SAHM instead of studying, then I'll support her in that too. Not everything in life comes down to how many degrees you have, nor is Uni going to go anywhere if she decides later on that she wants to study.

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