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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by austmum View Post
    I haven't read all the responses but asking them to terminate? That's
    Awful .
    Agreed

  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    To all the women saying they'd 'ask' their daughter to terminate the pregnancy... Would you also be willing to arrange and pay for birth control for your daughter once she turned 16?
    I would not ask my daughter to terminate, but I would arrange counselling for her quick smart...someone who could help her work through all her options without any prejudice ( i would want her to know HER mind on it which is hard when an 18 year old is not fully developed mentally so that is a huge call).

    I would absolutely arrange and pay for birth control once over 16 AND in a committed relationship. We are very open about talking about sex/love/relationships here (we believe that openness and conversation starts as they start talk) so I would hope that we will talk about all sorts as they get older without embarrassment.

    If she decided she wanted a termination, I would also pay for that. But, i would not try and sway her either way if that makes sense.

    I would also do the same if my son got a girl pregnant at 18...help her get good impartial advice/counselling and assist them in any way i could.

    My son will know about condoms and will see them as the norm, he will know about safe sex (not just for std's but for pregnancy and emotional well being) as will my daughter.

    I guess i see the only way it would happen as being a major "accident"...I would very much hope neither would do it deliberately!

  3. #123
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    I would support her and help educate her as much as I could about babies/pregnancy and what life would be like.

    I had DS at 19 (one month off 20) my Dad when I told him said "well that's special" and that was it. Mum was happy for me but wished I'd told her a wk before because she'd just gotten rid of heaps or our old baby clothes. DP's parents however were not positive at all. Reacted really badly and only really got over it closer to the birth and of course absolutely adore and love DS now.

    We weren't in the position that it sounds like you are in and it hasn't always been easy but I would not give up DS for anything. He is an absolute joy (even when he tantrums) Lol.

    I can't believe the amount of people saying they would try to get them to terminate. If you force someone into that be prepared for them to hold it against you for a very long time. How can that be anything but their choice? You raised them, so sure feel disappointed if you must but it is your job to make them feel supported and that you will always be on their side no matter what.

  4. #124
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    Quote Originally Posted by austmum View Post
    I haven't read all the responses but asking them to terminate? That's
    Awful What if they caved into that and regretted it for the rest of their lives.

    I would be loving and supportive of my daughter and help her and her baby in any way I could.

    playing devil's advocate...what if they succumbed to pressure to keep the bub and regretted that for the rest of their lives...

    there are no easy answers in this sort of scenario

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  6. #125
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    If the pregnancy was unplanned I would be disappointed FOR her. Being 18 for me is this wonderful time when you get to do whatever you want. You can spend all the money from a part time job on one outfit for the weekend with just enough money left over for a night out. Save to go travelling or for a house deposit. basically for me it's a time of selfishness when you put yourself first (I know this isn't the case for everyone!). But I think everyone would agree that once you have a child, you think of babies needs first.
    But I would support her in whatever decision she made. Be it termination or keeping the baby.

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  8. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    I would absolutely arrange and pay for birth control once over 16 AND in a committed relationship. We are very open about talking about sex/love/relationships here (we believe that openness and conversation starts as they start talk) so I would hope that we will talk about all sorts as they get older without embarrassment.
    ... and if she's under 16 and wants birth control? or over 16 and just wants to have double protection because she wants to sleep around? You'll say no?

  9. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    ... and if she's under 16 and wants birth control? or over 16 and just wants to have double protection because she wants to sleep around? You'll say no?
    under 16 I would be talking (from an early age) about the legal age of consent and how sharing her body before she truly knows it herself is not a good idea... not only could it land her in a world of trouble, but also any partner could end up on the sexual offenders register and it could ruin both their lives.

    Keep in mind that my kids are still very young, i may change my mind on it...but, i cannot forsee that they would want to sleep around at 13/14/15...even up until 18/19.

    I am saying what i believe to be true now...but i don't have teens as yet and I am growing and learning as my children do.

  10. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I would support her with whatever she wanted to do. If she wanted to have the baby I would do whatever I could to make sure she didn't give up on study and a career - I would help her financially, babysit often, whatever she needed.

    I would also help her sort out whatever she wanted to do in terms of the father - if they weren't together I would help her with organising child support, mediation, court orders etc. If they were together I would make sure she knew she could always count on me enough to know that she didn't have to stay with him just because of the baby.

    And finally, if she wanted to terminate I would support her in that as well, and make sure it was 100% her decision and no one else's.
    I am completely with this

  11. #129
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    I'm pretty sure that a 14 year old can go to the doctor and get contraception without parental supervision. A 14 year old can also get an abortion without parental permission.

  12. #130
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    I have been reading through the replies and wanted to share my story.

    I wasn't living at home at 18, I was living with my now dh. I fell pregnant at 19. My mum and dad were over the moon. I was working full time as a nurse, owned my own car.
    When I had my ds we bought a house and I continued to work.
    My ds is nearly 8 and in that time I have gone on to have 3 dd's, study more nursing, marry.
    Right now in my life, at 27, I nearly own my house outright, have 4 super cute kids and I am studying biomedical science at uni with a view to continue into medicine.
    I can honestly say that falling pregnant and having a baby at 19 was the best thing that ever happened to me and is the reason I am where I am today.
    Not all 18/19 year olds party and are irresponsible.
    I hope my kids male or female have children when they are ready, whether 18 or 38, it doesn't matter as long as they are happy. I love and support them no matter what.

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