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  1. #111
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    Well I guess everyone is applying the hypothetical scenario to their own situation.

    I know when I was 18 I was young, had just finished school and started a 5 year uni degree (it had been my dream to get into that course since I was 12) had no work experience, lived with my parents and didn't even own my own car.

    If I had been pregnant, the only options would have been to terminate, quit uni and get a job, or have my parents support me and the baby so I could finish my degree. Im saying if my daughter were in that situation I would support her so that she didn't have to quit uni.

  2. #112
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    I would be horrified and very disapointed to say the least. How I would handle it I have no idea and tbh this is the reason having a girl freaks me out.

    when I was 17 I thought I was pregnant to my boyfriend of 12mths. My mum told me I would be having an abortion if I was which I accepted as she was responsible for me. Turned out I wasn't but I look back and think of myself now at 37 and if I had had a child it would have been 20 now and I know I wouldn't have been a good mum that could have provided a good life for that child so my mums decision would have been the right one!

  3. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~ElectricPink~ View Post
    But why can't that wait until their child is at school? After all, they will only be 23 then - still plenty of time to study/sort out career.

    With the new rules regarding parenting payments, when the child turns 6 you are either cut off welfare, or if you're single, required to work or study part time. So "sitting on welfare" whilst doing nothing isn't really an option anyway past that age.

    On a side note - why is okay for a mother to stay at home to raise her children, without any pressure to study, contribute to society or "better" herself, if she has a partner bringing in income, yet it's not okay if she has to rely on welfare to do so? I find that incredibly unfair. Why should that be a privilege restricted only to those who are lucky enough to have supportive partners?

    That said, personally I decided to study whilst DS was young, and I'm glad I did. I do wish I had started uni straight after finishing yr 12, as I would have been in my final year now. But to me, being there for my son before he started school was more important. There's always time to further my education, whereas children are only young once! Yes it meant a few more years on welfare, but that's a small sacrifice in the long run.
    Well, I'm not sure if the op wanted this to turn into a working vs sahm thread so I'm not going to say any more.

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosengold111 View Post
    Exactly this ^ I stated before I have been with DP for three years we own a house together and our cars, I have many different qualifications and have a job.


    However, I did ask how they would react if their daughter told them she was pregnant at this age soo I'm supporting their opinions as well with an open mind
    In your case, I really don't think you have anything to be concerned about. Im sure that your parents will be happy for you, considering your stability. Congrats by the way!!!!

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  6. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~ElectricPink~ View Post

    On a side note - why is okay for a mother to stay at home to raise her children, without any pressure to study, contribute to society or "better" herself, if she has a partner bringing in income, yet it's not okay if she has to rely on welfare to do so? I find that incredibly unfair. Why should that be a privilege restricted only to those who are lucky enough to have supportive partners?
    .
    If you are single and can afford to
    Be a long term SAHM then that's great. But we shouldt expect others (taxpayers) to pay for that. Sure it benefits the kids but it's an economic drain on society.

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    Arlais  (26-01-2014)

  8. #116
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    I'm surprised at how many people are saying they'd be sad, disappointed, want her to terminate.

    I have no idea how I'd feel because it would depend a lot on what was happening in her life at the time and how she feels about it. If she was in a long term, stable relationship, financially secure and happy about the pregnancy then I wouldn't be feeling sad for her at all. If she was happy, I'd be happy. Likewise, if it proved a positive turning point for her, then I certainly wouldn't be feeling sad.

    If it was unplanned, and she was freaking out about it, then I'd offer whatever support I could to make the situation easier for her. I would never ever disown my child or kick her out, no matter what. And I wouldn't automatically be disappointed in her. I'd want her to know its not the end of the world, and its doesn't spell the end of all her dreams, it just means her path may be different than she thought it would be. And I'll be right there with her, if she wants me to be.

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  10. #117
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    To all the women saying they'd 'ask' their daughter to terminate the pregnancy... Would you also be willing to arrange and pay for birth control for your daughter once she turned 16?

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    I haven't read all the responses but asking them to terminate? That's
    Awful What if they caved into that and regretted it for the rest of their lives.

    I would be loving and supportive of my daughter and help her and her baby in any way I could.

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  13. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    To all the women saying they'd 'ask' their daughter to terminate the pregnancy... Would you also be willing to arrange and pay for birth control for your daughter once she turned 16?
    Yes, of course... and then some...

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    twotrunks  (30-07-2012)

  15. #120
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    The posts that say they'd strongly suggest termination also shock and sadden me, but each to their own. I just hope their daughters realise that they are adults and CAN make that decision for themselves. Reminding them of that option if they need/want it and suggesting it are two very different things.

    But each to their own.
    Last edited by London; 29-07-2012 at 22:47.

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