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  1. #91
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    It would depend on what kind of person my daughter was. But generally I would give her everything that my mom did for me - love, support, knowledge etc ect ect...

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  3. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~ElectricPink~ View Post
    I don't really see how being a SAHM at 18 is really much more of a disadvantage than being one at say 28. Either way, it is a break from the workforce which realistically does make it harder to get back into work, regardless of age or experience.

    The way I see it, the child of a young parent is no less deserving of having a SAHM than a child of an older mum. So if a young mum wants to stay at home to raise her child until thy reach school age, and has to receive welfare in order for this to be possible, then I fully support that. However, I would encourage them to start considering their options regarding work/study as the child gets closer to school age.

    I had my son at 18. I lived with my parents and stayed at home with him until he was 2, and then I moved out and did my year 12 through tafe. And next year I will be starting uni! I can tell you now, if I hadn't have had my child at a young age, I wouldn't have achieved all that I have so far. He gives me the motivation to aspire for more - the same can be said of many young mothers that I know. There is such a bad stereotype against young mothers in our society, thanks to the very few that set a bad example, that the majority of us feel immense pressure to prove that we are more than just the typical "dole bludgers" that we are made out to be.

    Anyway, as for how I would feel....I would feel a little disappointed at first, especially if the circumstances were less than ideal. Mainly because I would hope for more for my child, I wouldn't want to see her struggle like I did. But I would be supportive nonetheless, as I understand how hard being a young mum can be at times! I would help out where possible, whilst also ensuring that she takes full responsibility for raising her own child.
    Congrats on starting Uni. It sounds like youve got a lot of drive and will no doubt succeed.

    Some young ones can certainly give the old ducks a run for their money in the 'good parenting' stakes!

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  5. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartiecat View Post
    Personally I see being a sahm as a privilege for those who can afford to do it ... This is why most mothers go back to work or study (to get into employment) ... I don't see it as a right and I especially don't see it as a right for those who are receiving welfare.
    But if she was studying she would still be on welfare. One could argue that studying is a luxury for people who can afford it and she should just go and get a job stacking shelves to pay her own way? I mean, really this could be argued about anyone on any kind of study allowance- if you can't afford it, you can't do it.

    And don't argue taht at least she is 'bettering herself' by studying, because I believe I am 'bettering' my childrens lives by being at home with them for the first few years.

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  7. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    And don't argue taht at least she is 'bettering herself' by studying, because I believe I am 'bettering' my childrens lives by being at home with them for the first few years.
    There is a big difference between being a SAHM/on welfare and being on welfare while studying and being a mum.

    You're right, SAHM's are enriching their kids lives. But they are not increasing their earning potential/ ability to pull their family out of poverty (if that is the case)/ability to contribute financially to
    Society via paying tax.

  8. #95
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    I haven't read all the thread. But if we were in that situation we would firstly strongly encourage a termination. Only if that were absolutely off the table would we then look at other options,and support her in whatever she chose. I would probably be pretty disappointed if she had the baby, tbh, so I hope it never happens.
    god that sounds like I am an awful mum perhaps if she were in a stable committed relationship and was getting married I would view it differently, but I wouldn't encourage marriage at that age either.

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  10. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annabella View Post
    But if she was studying she would still be on welfare. One could argue that studying is a luxury for people who can afford it and she should just go and get a job stacking shelves to pay her own way? I mean, really this could be argued about anyone on any kind of study allowance- if you can't afford it, you can't do it.

    And don't argue taht at least she is 'bettering herself' by studying, because I believe I am 'bettering' my childrens lives by being at home with them for the first few years.
    No intention of arguing with you ... I don't see that welfare should replace income ... Supplement it ok but it should not be a way of life.

    There are so many clink programs that provide subsidized cc to support study to get mums on their feet but where does the cycle stop?

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    I would be sad
    I'd really hope that she would terminate but obviously, that choice would be hers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by London View Post
    I am honestly a little taken about by the amount of people who say they would want their kid to study and work straight away. I understand not wanting your child to become a complete bludger, but what is wrong with the child wanting to be a SAHM or spending the first few years bonding with the child?
    5 years bonding with the child + 3-5 years uni degree + a few years in a low-paying graduate job... I'm sorry but my support can only really go so far. 8-10+ years... Nope. I would support her to stay home with her baby for a year, but after that she can go to uni part time. Or support herself. Up to her.

    (when I say support I mean having her live with me, me paying for everything, babysitting lots etc.)
    Last edited by shelle65; 29-07-2012 at 21:55.

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  14. #99
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    Funnily enough, the OP didnt state that the 18yr old NEEDS help. People are instantly assuming that the 18yr old is some poor, helpless, uneducated CHILD who is telling her parents and basically asking for help.
    People are saying 'Im sorry, I wont pay for her after this point" ....where in the OP does it say the 18yr old is asking for financial support?

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    Honestly there is no way I would force her to go out and work and be separated from her baby if she felt strongly about it. I, first and foremost would support her to be the best mum she can be. Then I would make her path to study (if she chooses) and work as easy as i could for her. Honestly, I don't care is my child is '3 years behind her peers'...there are so many ways to be achieve in life. I am mostly concerned with the whole person not being 'successful' as the world defines it. There are SO many avenues to wonderful careers too.

    OP, I hope all this conversation hasn't freaked you out! I just wanted to say congratulations again xoxo

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