I always knew i wanted to do extended breast feeding. However our little girl was born 10 weeks ago and didn't attach properly. I have to date seen 6 lactation consultants several times with no real positive results. At 5 weeks i started to express milk and managed just one breast feed a day so she would remain friends with the breast. However in the last week she has now started to reject the breast. She cries inconsolably when put near it and if i try to attach her. I haven't been able to get her on in a week and I'm coming to terms with this being the end of our breast feeding relationship. It breaks my heart. I will continue to pump as long as my supply lasts but been warned by 2 maternal health nurses that pumping alone doesn't provide enough stimulation so Im unlikely to make it to 6 months.
I feel like a failure.
I wanted to intimacy of a breast feeding relationship and the security it would give my child.
I wanted to help protect her by having a good immune system.
I wanted to protect myself against breast cancer as its so prevalent in my family.
I wanted the ease of feeding that breast feeding allows.
My question to you all is, do you have a similar experience and how did you cope and make up for the loss? Where do I go from here?