What would you do?

[Peterhau]

I am putting my life back together, moving on and dealing with the fact that I am now divorced. Like a bolt out of the blue, my ex called me today to tell me that she thinks that she made a mistake and that maybe we could possibly work it out and start again?

What I think is going on is that her new partner is not towing the line when she gives him an order. The kids tell me that there are lots and lots of arguments at their house.

I won't put myself through the hell she dished out to me again, I have made a decision and I am sticking to it.

What I want to know from other dads is whether you would take your ex back if you knew that:

They were seeing their current partner for 12 months before they left. Living with you, sharing the same bed.

That only 2 months before meeting the current partner, they were fooling around with another bloke.

She has a baby from the new partner.

It would make the kids happy.

what would you do?

[HopefulK]

Yikes. She sounds like a class act!

I think you answered your own question :-/

[dancingbutterfly]

I say think back and remember the reasons your relationship ended. The things that werent right. If they havent changed or are unlikely to then you have your answer.

Sounds like you are getting yourself back to a good place. Dont let her change that because you feel obliged.

[Paul64]

Oh Pete, what a spot you're in. You have done the toughest part and that was deciding to leave and doing it. The kids have gone through that now and they will in time, understand fully your reasons. They have made the adjustment now as have you.

Going back to the situation that began the separation and putting painful hope back into your kids I think would be diabolical and cruel on them and you.

Your ex perhaps...thought the grass was greener on the other side..she has since discovered it isn't and now realises her "other" option"maybe wasn't so bad. The emotions of yours and your kids can't be put through the possibility of another separation down the track if she decides to go looking again.

What factors you use to decide whether to allow her back into your life only you know. Just don't forget the fresh hope your kids may generate when you tell them you are getting back together again and then in the future all the old patterns begin again and history begins to repeat.

This is a tough one for you and you alone. Tread carefully my friend and do what you're doing....seek advice, seek maybe some professional advice too.

Cheers and kindest regards

Paul...