Just wondering if many other mummy's to be are going through the same or similar. I'm 21 weeks pregnant today with my first bub. Up until the 12 week scan I was blissfully unaware that something could be wrong with my bub. My NT results came back high risk- the NT Measurement was 4.9 and I was given a 1:72 chance of bub's having a chromosomal defect. After three attempts at CVS and one amnio, the results came back clear and we found out we were having a little boy The past few weeks were great, had my 20 week scan on Monday and was told that all looked good, except I have a low lying placenta- that I'm not concerened about, I don't really mind how he comes out as long as he does.
I had my follow up appointment with the hospital on Tuesday just gone. They doctor's there were not happy with the scan results so I was brought back in again this morning to have the scan re-done. I had two midwives, one radiologist and three professors all scanning and rescanning me all morning, muttering to themselves so that I could not hear- thats very disheartening. Turns out my placenta is no where near the cervix so one less thing to worry about. Whilst the scan was being performed the doctors noticed a small bright spot on bubs heart so now I am booked in for a fetal echo test in two weeks time to see if and what may be wrong with his little heart. Also, bubs NT measurement has actually increased and it is now 6.2- 6.8 so there are now major concerns that it may be a genetic defect, they mentioned Noonan's syndrome and syndrome X. I know have to see a Gentic Counsellor and discuss further invasive tests with them. Once bub is born, he is going to be kept in hospital for observation for a while.
I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now, sad, worried, stressed, alone. Bub's dad is fed up and doesn't want to go through with these further tests and I understand him being that way, but I on the other hand couldn't live with myself if there is something wrong and I don't go through with them. Its most upsetting that at this far along, I'm not able to relax and enjoy my pregnancy, and I'm too scared to bond with my bub in case the unthinkable happens and I don't get to have him come December. I don't want to sound like a whinger but I don't now of anyone else who has had to go through this, and then there's all the rest that will follow. I wish it was like the old days where there was no testing, I've become a big believer of the saying ignorance is bliss. A part of me wishes that we said no to all the tests so far and let what will be, be.
I'm waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel, the day I get to hold my bub and take him home with me.