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  1. #11
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    I can understand feeling a little disappointed in not getting the sex you desire, but seeing as it's effecting your friendships and everyday life I think it's probably a good idea to see your doctor and get a referral.
    I think in time your sons will pick up on your behaviour so best you work your way through these feelings before hand, although your older son may already be picking up on the fact that you want a girl so badly and your behaviour could potentially have negative impact on him.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I think you should access some counselling. I think even just having someone to listen to you in a non judgemental way will help.
    Yep, this. I would most definitely suggest a psychologist or councillor... Feeling this way is not going to do you or your family any good, and they will have strategies to help.

    ***Sent from my phone***

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by PJsmummy View Post
    the fact that you longed for a daughter does not mean you love your new son any less, you are simply grieving for the daughter (or chance for a daughter) you have lost . .
    Well said~

  4. #14
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    I would just be happy for a baby, either sex, after trying for 2 1/2 years. 1 1/2years of ivf, and a miscarriage.
    you are blessed to have two beautiful children, and perhaps if you had struggled to fall pregnant, you might just appreciate it more.

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

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  6. #15
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    Quote Originally Posted by bwana View Post
    I would just be happy for a baby, either sex, after trying for 2 1/2 years. 1 1/2years of ivf, and a miscarriage.
    you are blessed to have two beautiful children, and perhaps if you had struggled to fall pregnant, you might just appreciate it more.

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    That's not helpful at all.

    She's completely entitled to feel however she wants without hearing that she should be grateful for what she has. I'm sure she is grateful for what she has, but she also is allowed to grieve the daughter she hasn't got.

    Everyone has their own trials to deal with and belittling them or 'one-upping' doesn't benefit anyone.

    OP, I agree seeing a counsellor might help especially if your husband isn't giving you the support you need.

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  8. #16
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    Please don't be harsh on yourself and your husband shouldn't talk to you like that. I admit that i have always wanted a daughter. I was disappointed that i have a son and i'm so jealous with my friend for a very cute girl. But i love my son more than anything on earth. He has lots of pink clothes. I hope you will get help and feel better soon.

  9. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by bwana View Post
    sounds like you do need to speak with a professional.
    seriously, what does it really matter what sex the baby is? at least you can have them!!

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    You can't compare your situation to the OPs. I'm sorry you have struggled TTC. You might not see why this matters but clearly it matters to the OP. Telling her to be grateful and then telling her the sex doesn't matter is just negating her feelings which is not helpful at all.

    OP- I agree with others, a non judgmental counselor would be beneficial. It's perfectly natural to grieve the daughter you wanted while still loving the sons you are blessed with.

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  11. #18
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    thanks for your thoughts ladies...
    i feel better than i did when i posted this :-)

  12. #19
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    I have moved this post to the baby gender section to stop any further judgmental posts. Yes, she can have children and no one is saying that she is ungrateful for this fact. While it is terribly unfair that some people cannot have children, gender disappointment is a very real and emotional thing. Please no more harsh or judgmental posts.

    OP, I am so sorry you are experiencing these emotions. I myself have two boys who were a two for one deal. The shock of finding out it was twins was hard enough to take (that alone left me crying for months, grieving for an 'only' first child) but then to hear it was two boys when I so desperately envisioned a girl... terribly, terribly hard.
    I still hold out some hope of eventually having another babe.. it's not on the cards right now finanically, but then again our finances will NEVER be enough that we feel comfortable to try again, so that leaves me and my feelings in limbo.

    What your DP fails to understand is that you are NOT being a silly woman (Ugh!), but that you are, as a PP put it, grieving for the daughter you may never have. He needs to pull his head out of his bum and start recognising your feelings are real, valid, and more importantly, if not addressed properly may lead to depression.

    Counselling is a good idea if you can afford it If not, try and find a friend who understands.. or even who is just a good listener... we all need someone to lean on


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  14. #20
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    I'm pretty sure your gp can refer you to a counselor and you get something like 12 sessions covered by medicare

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