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  1. #1
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    Default Sex?? How often?? Husbands helping ??

    Sorry if this is in the wrong spot but I need to know

    How often do married couples have sex ???
    I've been with my husband for 9 yrs in November we have 3 kids together I'm only 24 but he chooses the mrs browns boys show or his ps3 over having sex with me wtf I asked him if he was still attracted to me he said yes yesterday but couldn't answer me tonight my ds is 6yrs old and is sick at the moment (just the flu but it's already the man flu lol) but he won't even help me with him or my other kids I have a 7 bedroom 2 lounge room with 3 bathroom house on an acre so I have my hands full trying to keep up with everything but he expects me to cook and clean and look after the kids with no help like its so easy

    How often do most husbands help out do u have pacific chores for them

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by roz2288 View Post
    I asked him if he was still attracted to me he said yes yesterday but couldn't answer me tonight
    Did I misinterpret this? Are you saying when you asked him yesterday he said yes, but today he couldn't answer if he was still attracted to you??

    Don't mean to ignore the rest of your post - my DH needs to be asked when it comes to helping with DS but is very helpful around the house.

  3. #3
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    we have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and i'm 21 weeks pregnant and we regularly have sex, as to answer one of your questions.. as for getting him to help out, i guess i don't ''ask'' him, i just ''tell '' him and he'll do it.. sometimes i'll have to spell things out to him, being male he does have his ps2 moments etc, but i'll just say something along the lines of ''can you take out this rubbish, thanks.''. as if he'd already answered me yes he'll do it. LOL.

    generally i do everything in the house most days, but he'll sometimes wash up / pick up washing/vacuum/take garbage out etc, if i tell him to.. but most importantly we talk openly about everything. if something is bothering us we just say it right out.

    but like pp said, what do you mean when you say he couldn't answer you when you asked him if he was attracted to you? did he just ignore you and watch tv or say he was unsure?

  4. #4
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    I have been with my DF for 6 years and have a 2yr old son and ttc #2 if it wasn't for ttc we would probably only be having sex once a week but it has been every second day at moment but usually he is the one not wanting to do it often as he is always in bed early and tired from a big work day so i think its normal especially if you have been together for a while you tend to not do it as often anymore well in my case anyway lol. As for helping around the house we have a big house to and i don't get any help inside i do cleaning cooking and looking after DS and DF looks after outside and also Im a stay at home mum so i feel as tho i should be taking care of all the inside stuff that's my job

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    I wouldn't be putting up with that. Sounds like he is selfish. My husband doesn't do much around the house as he works long hours and Saturdays as well, but he helps with the kids every night. He plays with them, reads to them. We have sex on average once a week maybe. We are both too tired at times.

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    Quote Originally Posted by happy86 View Post
    I have been with my DF for 6 years and have a 2yr old son and ttc #2 if it wasn't for ttc we would probably only be having sex once a week but it has been every second day at moment but usually he is the one not wanting to do it often as he is always in bed early and tired from a big work day so i think its normal especially if you have been together for a while you tend to not do it as often anymore well in my case anyway lol. As for helping around the house we have a big house to and i don't get any help inside i do cleaning cooking and looking after DS and DF looks after outside and also Im a stay at home mum so i feel as tho i should be taking care of all the inside stuff that's my job
    I think it's different when you only have one child. She has 3 children, gets no help at all, even with sick kids.


    I don't understand men who don't help out with their kids.

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    I only have one and DH helps all the time, if it was 3 and he was sitting on his ar$e expecting me to look after all 3 and cook and clean, I'd be telling him where to go!

    A wife is not a slave! Just because you do not leave the house to go to work and birthed all 3 children does not mean EVERYTHING is upto you!

    I think you need to sit him down and talk to him or even write him a letter. Because its not fair. His is still a parent and a husband which means he needs to man up to his responsibilities.

    As for the sex part. DH has always had a lower sex drive then me and it can leave me feeling deflated and unattractive but he does have a very stressful job and works long hours so I DO try to understand its not about me and when he says he is too tired after a 12 hour shift, it is true

    So basically communication is my advice. Don't let him play the "I work, I'm tired" card because you work ad are tired too!!

    Good luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I think it's different when you only have one child. She has 3 children, gets no help at all, even with sick kids.


    I don't understand men who don't help out with their kids.
    Yeah true 3 would be alot more to handle on your own i know when i have my second not much will change here but Im ok with that otherwise i wouldn't be trying for our second knowing i can't expect much help but i was also brought up this way my mum did everything for me and my brother and sister i think it depends on the circumstances if both parents work i think for sure both parents should equally be helping out with chores inside but otherwise that's what the stay at home mum would be doing during the day but i know alot of people have different views on this but defiently with a sick child he needs to be helping i would be telling my DF to help in this case.

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    How other marriages work doesn't matter. It's whether or not you and hubby are happy with how things are working that matters.
    Some couples are happy with sex once a week, some are happy with once a month. Some wives are happy to do all the chores, some aren't.
    All that matters is that you don't sound happy with your situation. You need to sit down with him and try and talk openly about it all. Let him know what you want and find out what he wants.
    And remember that marriages do go through ups and downs, as long as you can keep communicating you will get through it.
    My marriage went through a real slump period recently, I blame it on the 7 year itch... Lol But we got through it and are back in our happy place now. Marriages are hard work, throw 3 kids in the mix and it's a lot harder.
    xx

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mel04 For This Useful Post:

    JaneDoe  (27-07-2012),roz2288  (27-07-2012)

  11. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mel04 View Post
    How other marriages work doesn't matter. It's whether or not you and hubby are happy with how things are working that matters.
    This is so true.

    Find what works for you and your family. If it not working anymore than you need to talk to him and work it out together.


 

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