Giving up on having that final baby after a miscarriage?

[StretchmarkBarbie]

Has anyone else given up on their baby journey after a miscarriage? As much as i want another baby, I can not go through another loss plus i now have other health issues to consider.

[Girl X]

No, not given up, but it has affected for how long I think we will keep trying.

I had a miscarriage last week at 8.5 weeks, and we've been trying for nearly 18mths (doing IVF atm).

We're still trying, but I don't think I can go through that more than twice - if at all, but I guess that's out of my hands. I think if it happened again then it might be a showstopper for us. Just the length of time trying, the devastation of a mc, and how much it's consuming our lives.

I'm at a point now where I want to focus on DH and DD, and not be so obsessed with TTC, and spending half my life at appointments/ jabbing/ feeling cr*p, etc.

I never thought I would feel like this, but I'm starting to feel closer to the end of the process, and more 'okay' with the prospect of it just not happening. The process ending would put an end to this TTC nightmare, and I think that life could move forward again then.

So, we're not there yet, but I think we will be this year. Maybe sooner, depending on how things go.

[GirlsRock]

SMB.....I remember commenting on your post after you found out your baby had passed. I never for one minute realised I would end up in the exact same position. We have 2 beautiful children conceived via IVF and thought our family was complete. I was completely shocked to discover that I had fallen pregnant naturally. My HCG levels at 5 weeks were sky high, so definitely pregnant. Major morning sickness kicked in at 5.5 weeks. For the first couple of weeks I was filled with almost dread wondering how I would cope. I got over that and I had a week of being excited about the future with another baby and then I went for a scan at 8.5 weeks and discovered the baby had stopped growing at about 7 weeks, although the m/s remained. I had a curette 13 days ago. In that time I've felt about 100 different emotions, mainly guilt that I wasn't overjoyed the second I found out I was pregnant. I think shock took over. My DH and I have discussed it and decided that we won't be trying again (I am 40). I cant go through th debilitating m/s and still be a good Mum to our kids, I can't go through the stress and perhaps another loss. Our life is great as it is with our 2 beautiful girls. But you know what.....it hurts so badly. I should be almost 11 weeks pregnant. I should be announcing my pregnancy at a family party next weekend. I see babies and I ache. I see maternity clothes in Target and I look away. I "know" in my head that we've made the right decision. I'm just waiting for my heart to catch up.

I have read previously about your recent health issues. My heart aches for you too. Go gently. I hope you find peace with the thought of not being pregnant again sooner rather than later.

xx

[Elijahs Mum]

I lost my baby on Tuesday (10w+5) it was my first miscarriage , I fell pregnant with DS easily and had a great pregnancy, this shocked me I suppose as I thought all was going well
I hate this feeling, I hate that my baby died, I hate that everyone is feeling sorry for me and I said to DH Tuesday night after the curette I can't go through this again, as much as I thought I really wanted another baby I think the worry and stress will do my head in
I'm also 41, so the option of waiting a few years is out, every day I heal a bit more and just now I started crying over the baby I probably will never have but I had some lovely advice from some other hubbers who just said to not think about it just yet and let myself heal properly
DH really wants to try again but I'm still torn, OP I wish these things didn't happen to us and I hope we both find peace with our decisions soon, take care xxxx

[StretchmarkBarbie]

Thanks guys. I want that baby so badly. I think about him all the time. I should have been around 18 weeks pregnant right now.

I would kill for someone to even mention the baby. Two days after my d&c everyone seems to have forgotten I was ever pregnant. My sister actually sat there whinging across from me at a dinner about how she hates being pregnant. I seriously considered throwing my soup at her.

For you ladies who keep fighting through losses, you are so strong. I hope you get a sticky little one soon