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  1. #71
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    Default Kids couldn't care less about going to child-care

    I wasn't aware I was raising my child part time because I have to work. By that logic, every parent, except homeschoolers, are part time parents when their children start school. This thread is a heap of steaming dog p00. One study was posted in here to give a few mothers a slight morsel of relief from the crippling freaking guilt a lot of us feel, and then a whole heap of people weigh in and shoot it down. Heaven forbid we should have a small moment of positive reinforcement. Heaven forbid there's a thread where the precious SAHM's aren't lauded over for being so goddamn awesome 'full time' parents. Let's see what happens when your marriage breaks up (and it does happen), or an injury occurs to your partner, or any of the myriad of reasons that we have to work. Or god forbid some women might just LIKE THEIR JOBS. Why don't you all just pat yourself on the back for being SAHM's and let the rest of us do our freaking jobs in peace?
    Last edited by Alexander Beetle; 14-08-2012 at 14:39.

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  3. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eko View Post
    Yes. Not myself, but several good friends have had to return to work with bubs as young as four weeks. Bills to pay, other children to feed.
    I didn't deride them for it, I pitied them for having to miss out on that precious time.
    All three mothers were in tears several times a day until they got used to bring away from their bubs. They still don't like it.

    My point is that we should support women in that position instead of telling them they're not good enough, or that they shouldn't have had kids.
    It was heartbreaking enough watching it. I couldn't imagine having to live it.
    Yeah, as I said in my last post, my wording was wrong. I don't really get they'd have to go at 4 weeks personally, Centrelink pays the bills within that time, but none the less if they had to do it then they had to do it. I certainly feel sorry for them as well. I couldn't imagine having to be away from baby at that age

  4. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I am sure your intention wasn't sinister but I know for me this doesn't make me feel supported in working and placing children in care because when I worry about them, the nights I hardly sleep worrying, the days I went to work barely able to function because my DS had been hysterically crying, not wanting to go and just stay at home with Mummy and all the rest I feel more judged because the media tells everyone around me that 'kids couldn't care less'. That isn't to say that you shouldn't have posted it but the reasons why it is discussed at length. I think most parents don't consider just any article or study as reputable, you discuss the merits of the study and evaluate it's worth. Which, for the most is what has happened here.
    I feel from reading this pretty much the same way like I failed her even more because kids are meant to not care.

    Quote Originally Posted by CazHazKidz View Post
    I work. My kids are at daycare 3 days a week. I don't like it and would prefer to be home with them, but they do love going and I think they get a lot out of it

    I liked the article.

    I'm surprised by all the hatred towards Nem Fox though. I think any one that has a baby, then as soon as possible puts them in full time daycare to go back to work whether they need to or not has a lot to answer for.
    Very nice...

  5. #74
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    Meh, look I said it wrong ok. Seriously, people think it's ok to pop out a baby then at 6 weeks old pack them off and ship them off to daycare even if you're not struggling to pay the bills? I'm surprised anyone would think that's a good idea. Even those of US who DO have to work.

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  7. #75
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    I will reiterate, I never called anyone a 'part-time parent'. I never said childcare was bad, I never said having a facility contribute to the raising of your kids is a bad thing either.

    Like I believe breast milk is the optimal source of nutrition, natural birthing is generally the optimal method of birth, I also believe being in your parents presence full time is optimal. People shouldn't get offended by the first two and shouldn't get offended by the last.

    I think child care is great and is beneficial, so please don't paint my posts as something they aren't.

  8. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by CazHazKidz View Post
    I work. My kids are at daycare 3 days a week. I don't like it and would prefer to be home with them, but they do love going and I think they get a lot out of it

    I liked the article.

    I'm surprised by all the hatred towards Nem Fox though. I think any one that has a baby, then as soon as possible puts them in full time daycare to go back to work whether they need to or not has a lot to answer for.
    Yep, it would have been better had I aborted DD or gave her away.

    DD was planned, but her father getting retrenched wasn't. Now we intially could afford to manage, but it took a bit longer than we could manage for, for him to get another job. Seeing I had a job to go back to I went back to work when she was 6 weeks old. Child care places where so slim, that we put her in child care so that when he got a job he could start straight away. More fool me I should have adopted her out or aborted her and then she wouldnt have been a financial burden.

    Honestly THIS is why Mem Fox caused such a awful time for many people when she repeated someone elses comments that childcare was abuse, not to mention the offence cast on all the decent, hardworking, caring child carers out there who adore their jobs and the children.

    THIS is why a study that says that child care really isnt the same as child abuse goes a long way to helping people who do the very best they can to feel a little better about themselves and their choices.

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  10. #77
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    Works for us!! I have found my DD's carers to be the most beautiful support and help.

    Happy, confident DD thrives in child care. She adapted far better than I did leaving her, initially. That really helped me let go for the guilt.

    Each to their own. If she were a different child, or it was a different centre, it may be a different story.

  11. #78
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    Default Kids couldn't care less about going to child-care

    Quote Originally Posted by CazHazKidz View Post
    Meh, look I said it wrong ok. Seriously, people think it's ok to pop out a baby then at 6 weeks old pack them off and ship them off to daycare even if you're not struggling to pay the bills? I'm surprised anyone would think that's a good idea. Even those of US who DO have to work.
    I get what you are saying. It's not ideal, but sometimes it is necessary

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  13. #79
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    Ok then.

    People aren't seeing what I'm writing, they're just choosing to take offence. As if I would ever insinuate someone would have been better off aborting or adopting their child rather than going back to work. How ridiculous.

    I AM A WORKING MUM. And I work because I have to. My children love going to daycare and get a lot out of it. I like the artice. I don't think my children are any worse off from me having to work. I would prefer to be at home yes, but they are fine none the less.

    Obviously I suck at writing what I'm thinking, because what I'm thinking would only be offensive to rich people who chose to put their babies in full time daycare from as young as possible just because they could. If it's offending anyone else, it's by accident.

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    Default Kids couldn't care less about going to child-care

    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Maybe I should of shown DS2 this article, maybe then he wouldnt of cried for me whenever I left him, maybe then he wouldn't of stressed every other day of the week that we were about to take him to 'little school'. He cared a hell of a lot about going to day care!!
    But you obviously thought there was a possibility of some benefits to your child by putting him in in the first place.

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