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  1. #1
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    Default Where to Start

    Hi All,

    I am new to this and really don't know what I expect to find at this stage, hopefully information at first, what to do, where to go, possibly more.

    My Wife and I married October last year and prior to getting married about 3.5 years ago, she was admitted to hospital with severe stomach pains, doctors said appendix, and operated. They found a cyst the size of a tennis ball on her left Ovary. It was Cancer, and the worst kind at that, Clear Cell. The doctors thought it early enough but suggested we have IVF treatment first (Which we have 10 embryos), before chemo. Chemo went for 6 months, and after that all forecasts looked good. After we got engaged, built out house, and being 2 years into remission, began the process of readying ourselves for a baby after being told we can try naturally first up as the right ovary was still functioning fine.

    On what we thought was our last visit to the doctor to get the all clear, gave us a massive whack, the last check up revealed the Cancer had returned, this was August last year. So, we again went through the process, chemo, radiation, marriage, delayed honeymoon due to treatment, but have finally emerged out the other side again with a good as prognosis as you can get with this horrible disease.

    So, we are now at the stage, after letting the opportunity go the first time, looking at having a bub. We had a surrogate mother who was a friend of my sisters who worked in the IVF industry ready but her first checkup showed a prolapsed uterus, and therefore has ended our dreams.

    Also due to the type of Cancer that my wife has, and the history of it in her family, we have been advised by doctors, that if we do find another surrogate or choose to go that way, we can legally pick the sex on medical grounds and that there are provisions for that in the laws now in Australia.

    So, there it is, a Where to Start basically, what to do next.

    Hopefully some of you can give me some insight

  2. #2
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    Hi there,

    I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through, but a huge congrats for coming out at the other end!

    Surrogacy laws are governed by state government, so how you start the process depends on what state you are in.

    I'm sorry your potential surrogate fell through. Do you have any one else that may potentially offer? If you need to find another surrogate, there are a few ways you can go about it. If you have facebook, check out this page

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/273975192646219/

    I have been a surrogate twice in QLD, so do have some idea about the laws and how to go about finding someone to help you. Feel free to drop me a line anytime

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to simrach For This Useful Post:

    Force  (24-07-2012),sophie11  (03-09-2013)

  4. #3
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    Thanks for the reply and thoughts.

    We are in NSW, and have spent hours on hours reading legislation, that all seems double dutch at times.

    The only other offer we have had is from my neice, but at 21, with no children of her own its not ideal or likely to be allowed.

    The clinic we used also does support surrogacy but they won't allow sex selection, even on medical advice, but they will transfer the embryos to anywhere we like to be implanted, they seemed a little unsure of certain aspects themselves and really changed tone when I mentioned surrogacy, why is it such a tabo subject in Australia.

    If a surrogate could be found that both my wife and I are happy with, then yes we would look at options.
    Last edited by Force; 24-07-2012 at 17:24.

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    I'm curious why is sex selection so important?

  6. #5
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    It not really a big deal, but it is something that we need to consider.

    There is a link between cancer and all females on my wife's side of the family going back over 3 generations. This wasn't known until my wife's cancer came back a second time, which also coincided with her mother getting bowel cancer.

    Her grand mother also died of cancer, along with her great grand mother and one of there sisters.

    Since the doctors have began to look at the family history, my wife's own sister has been sent off for a pet scan, and both of there girls have had tests done, just to be safe.

    So, we would be happy just to have a baby, but the doctors have said we have the option available to us if we decided too.

    And with that said, after seeing what chemo & radiation does to a person, quite frankly, if it can reduce the chances of having a person at any stage of there life go through it, then I think it is something that should be considered in the best interest of the young child you want to bring into the world and care for.

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    Benji  (26-07-2012)

  8. #6
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    Being in NSW is good. Apart from overseas surrogacy, they have the most relaxed laws regarding surrogacy. You can even legally advertise for a surrogate as long as you don't pay for advertising.

    It's a shame your clinic won't support surrogacy. Surrogacy in Australia is still in its infancy really as it really hasn't been done much and laws have only recently been changed to publicly accept surrogacy. A lot of clinics are also very conservative, so it can sometimes be hard to find one willing to help.

    If you manage to find a surrogate outside of your state, remember that surrogacy laws pertain to where the IP's live, not the surrogate - so make sure you understand the act in NSW as best you can. I have had a good read of it and it seems very straight forward

  9. #7
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    Hi there,

    I am looking into becoming a surrogate. There are a few of us around. The facebook site is really good. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I wish you the best of luck in your dream of starting a family.

  10. #8
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    Where to begin! You've started on a very interesting journey. It's a pity that your doctor is not more supportive of you.

    Most of my clients are with either Genea or IVF Australia - I don't often get other medical centres. They often begun their journey after receiving a referral from their GP, who has thought that there is no other way to conceive but through surrogacy.

    I'm sure that you've done a lot of thinking already and you're well familiar with the process.

    From a legal standpoint you'll generally need legal involvement at three points:
    1. Before entering into a surrogacy agreement. Genea and IVF Australia tend to require a certificate from both IPs and birth mother before transferring embryos.
    2. When drafting the surrogacy agreement. The surrogacy agreement must be in writing and should cover most of the matters in the Surrogacy Act 2010.
    3. When applying for parentage orders in the Supreme Court. As fas as I know - only one order has been successfully made, and this was done in May 2012 between same sex IPs. This doesn't mean that it's a hard legislation - it's just so new.
    It's best to get a surrogate within NSW. This is mostly for practical reasons - there are a few things in the legislation that says that the surrogate must obtain, and they are much easier to do if the surrogate is in NSW.

    Yes you can put up a notice or seek for surrogates - so long as you do not pay a fee for that notice.

    Finally, do not enter into any commercial surrogacy arrangements. As long as you are a resident in NSW, the NSW act applies to you.

    I write a Surrogacy Blog - you can have a look at it at www.surrogacynsw.com.au.

    I wish you all the best - good luck and don't give up.

    Simrach - the facebook group seems to be closed off to me

  11. #9
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    Ken - if you applied and were knocked back it is probably because you are a professional involved in surrogacy. The group is for non professionals only sorry

  12. #10
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    No worries Rachel, I totally respect that.


 

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