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  1. #21
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    yeah I agree he has no right to privacy. if I stayed the conditions would be I have complete access to any electronic communication.

    I'd consider it an "affair" rather than "cheating"... which imo is far worse (to me) the premeditated and planned nature of his actions would hurt me worst than a drunken "mistake". I'm pretty sympathetic to how a lot of bad decisions can happen in a short period of time.

    but an emotional affair, planned affair would crush me and I don't know how I'd rebuild trust tbh.

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  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissPoss View Post
    We've done counseling, and honestly I get the impression I need to spend more time making him feel like a man, then stuff like this won't happen. I'd just had our third child and had been sick the entire pregnancy. We were in the SCN because of a non-breathing issue with bub when he started up with this woman. Yes, he was a bit neglected...I was kind of busy.
    He's not a 5 yo that needs his mummy attending to his needs hun. You were sick then had a sick child in hospital. Rather than being there for you and your child he was communicating with another woman in an inappropriate way and planning to meet with her. Is this what he is telling you? that it's your fault you weren't giving me enough attention?
    Last edited by delirium; 22-07-2012 at 15:49.

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    Stretched  (22-07-2012)

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissPoss View Post
    Ok, so the question is two-fold. Firstly, do you consider your DH telling another woman online (old friend) all the sexual things he wanted to do to her cheating, even though they never made it to the physical level? A meeting was suggested but never went through with it. Possibly because I caught it early.

    Secondly, if something like this ever happened to you, does the trust ever come back? Do you ever get past it?
    Yes I would say it is cheating. The trust does come back, depending on your relationship with the person who done it & you may or may not get past it.

  5. #24
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    Absolutely its cheating imo.

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  6. #25
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    yeah I think it's cheating because the intent was there. I'm really feeling for you I know it's hard my ex was a Cheater thankfully my husband is amazing.

    trust is a funny thing to me actions speak louder than words sorry is never enough and doesn't really mean anything normally they are sorry they got caught not fit their actions

    if you want if to work you in the future you need to find out why other than being a douche he felt he had to seek comfort in another and whether it's something that can be fixed

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    Izy  (22-07-2012)

  8. #26
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    I do think it's cheating, but I don't think it HAS to mean the end of the relationship. It really depends on the both of you. But I agree you need to try and find an answer to the why question

  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    He's not a 5 yo that needs his mummy attending to his needs hun. You were sick then had a sick child in hospital. Rather than being there for you and your child he was communicating with another woman in an inappropriate way and planning to meet with her. Is this what he is telling you? that it's your fault you weren't giving me enough attention?
    This. He should have been there holding your hand through it all, rather than putting his energy into another woman.

    The intent to cheat is just as bad as cheating imo. Ive had an ex do a similar thing.. Although I dropped his a*** for lots of reasons, not just the fb s3xy talk. *If* everything else was perfect I may try to work past it. He definitely wasn't worth it though and I never really trusted him in the first place anyway.

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    Last edited by MissPoss; 08-08-2012 at 10:08.

  11. #29
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    As PPs have pointed out, this was in no way your fault. I would be concerned that he is making a habit of manipulating you into taking full responsiblity for everything. I bet he makes you feel so guilty for feeling like you can't trust him or that you want to check his emails, makes you feel like it is your problem that you need to move on from. Try to be objective when he handles situations to check if he is trying to turn it around onto you.

    You have every right not to trust him. He was in the wrong. You need to look out for #1 and he should be doing everything in the world to prove to you that he can be trusted again.

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    Stiflers Mom  (22-07-2012)

  13. #30
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    Ive been through the same but it went on for a long time. MSG me if you want to talk. x x


 

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