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  1. #11
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    Last edited by MissPoss; 08-08-2012 at 10:09.

  2. #12
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    Its awful feeling like that it really is. Its not your fault; its a self protection mechanism. He needs to be as open as possible and accept that you will find it hard to trust him for a while. He's broken trust. And there are consequences.

    Aw, I just want to give you a big hug. Be kind to yourself.

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  4. #13
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    I don't know if I'd be able to get over the hurt TBH. He hasn't physically cheated but he was being selfish, disrespectful to you and obviously didn't care about your feelings. For me, I think I would forever wonder if he'd have gone ahead and met her if I didn't find out and THAT would be the undoing for me.

    That being said I hope you can resolve it if that's what you want - the above would be if I was in your situation xx

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  5. #14
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    I would definitely class this as cheating. My DH did the same thing, and we ended up separated (this was only part of the reason). I had the best time while separated, and he realised the grass is not greener.

    We got back together, separated again, then went to lots of counselling. Things are great now. I know he doesn't talk to that person, and yes, I still get jealous sometimes. I think deep down though, I trust he'll never do anything he knows he shouldn't as he knows what he could lose.

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  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissPoss View Post

    We've done counseling, and honestly I get the impression I need to spend more time making him feel like a man, then stuff like this won't happen. I'd just had our third child and had been sick the entire pregnancy. We were in the SCN because of a non-breathing issue with bub when he started up with this woman. Yes, he was a bit neglected...I was kind of busy.
    Why should it be YOUR job to make sure he treats you with some respect? You had just had his child and needed his support more than ever. It was a time when ALL his focus should've been on you and bub - he doesn't get to sit back just cause he's a man it's his kid too! The fact you were in this position when it happened would make me even angrier to be honest!

    I'm glad he wants the relationship to work but he needs to change and not just expect you to comply to his every whim and need so that he isn't tempted to wander off again.

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  9. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by zombiekitty View Post
    Cheating? I'm not sure I'd class it as such but the intent to cheat would be terrible.
    I'm so sorry this has happened to you
    This ^^ I wouldn't class it as cheating but I imagine it would have hurt you quite a bit.


  10. #17
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    I would be asking him to put his relationship with you before her, and so if remorseful to completely cut ties with the woman, delete email account and open another. Some kind of gesture to show you mean more to him than a foolish flirtation.
    men are so silly!

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    Yes, it is absolutely cheating. No questions. And If my DH ever did that to me, I would be outta there!

    Quote Originally Posted by MissPoss View Post
    Ok, so the question is two-fold. Firstly, do you consider your DH telling another woman online (old friend) all the sexual things he wanted to do to her cheating, even though they never made it to the physical level? A meeting was suggested but never went through with it. Possibly because I caught it early.

    Secondly, if something like this ever happened to you, does the trust ever come back? Do you ever get past it?

  12. #19
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    Yes it cheating.

    As for feeling like you need to check up on him all the time, that's normal and smart. He threw away his right to privacy when he did that. He needs to Earn you trust back. It will take as long as it takes. He needs to know this and he needs to agree with too it.

    You do not need to make him feel like a man, he needs to man up and act like one. This is in no way about you neglecting him, because you didn't he neglected you and your child by not being there supporting you and your child through that hard time.

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  14. #20
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    Yes I would consider it cheating and no I couldn't trust him again.


 

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