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  1. #21
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Quote Originally Posted by maybenumber3 View Post
    I understand that, it would be terribly hard and I really feel for anyone in that situation but why can't the couple discuss both their needs ?
    Who says they haven't?

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    no these ones have discussed but the man says..no ..no to cheating..no to touch..
    he could get help to bring touch back..but does not want too.
    the woman should just abstain.

  3. #23
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishtyban View Post
    no these ones have discussed but the man says..no ..no to cheating..no to touch..
    he could get help to bring touch back..but does not want too.
    the woman should just abstain.
    Then that man, is a douche bag lol.

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  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    Who says they haven't?
    No one but going by the op original post I'd guess not, if the couple had discussed it, it wouldn't be cheating would it ??

    I guess cheating to me is having a physical, mental or emotional relationship with someone besides your partner and if your partner found out about it would be upset about it iykwim.

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  7. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishtyban View Post
    no these ones have discussed but the man says..no ..no to cheating..no to touch..
    he could get help to bring touch back..but does not want too.
    the woman should just abstain.
    Ok after that bit of information I've changed my mind, it makes the situation very hard, I don't know what I'd do or think in that situation tbh.

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    I have said to my DP that if for whatever reason we are in a long term comitted relationship and I was no longer able to have sex, we would discuss other options for him. For me, sex doesnt make the relationship. If I was no longer able to because of physically not being able to, I would like to think I would give him a chance to sleep with someone else. Hookers and the likes. Not someone he will get emotionally attacted to ..... you know? lol

    For the record, cheating is cheating.

  10. #27
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Hmm, If I am reading this right, I think in this situation, it is as bad or worse. If sex is taken out of the equation in a relationship, all of your intimacy is based in your sharing and trusting and your emotional connection. Looking outside your relationship for that intimacy, if that is not your arrangement, is cheating.

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    I have close intimate relationships with quite a few people. They are called friendships. Sometimes we need support and another perspective and shoulder to lean on. I'm not saying what she is doing is right, however I would much rather my husband send some emails etc than make love to another woman!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    I have close intimate relationships with quite a few people. They are called friendships. Sometimes we need support and another perspective and shoulder to lean on. I'm not saying what she is doing is right, however I would much rather my husband send some emails etc than make love to another woman!
    Even cyber sex and 'more than friends' type conversations?
    I'd be MORE scared for my relationship if my DF had an emotional affair over a physical (unless of course it was an emotional affair that turned physical).

    Basically if the person feels the need to hide it, then it's not ok. In the situation given by the OP I STILL wouldnt think it's ok to go outside of the relationship, UNLESS there was a mutual understanding/agreement. It's all well and good for the person who can't have sex to say no, BUT the person who wants to feel that touch, desire, intimacy, have that itch scratched, well they have needs too and their needs need to be considered too, or it will ruin a marriage just like an affair would.

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    I consider it cheating and wrong if the other person does not know what is going on. Like a pp said if I was unable to fill my husbands needs physically then I'd allow him to get sex from outside our marriage it's not cheating if it's openly talked about and agreed on. Op I think the guy in this situation is being very unrealistic when it comes to his wife. Not even trying to help get any kind of intimatcy back between them would be a deal breaker to me.


 

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