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  1. #1
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    Default DS major separation anxiety?

    DS14 months used to be the most easy going baby ever. Wasn't fussy, didn't cry when DH or I left him or put him to bed, didn't cry when others held him, didn't whinge during the day (except the odd occasion where he was eg hungry. / tired etc. even then it wasn't bad at all.

    I had this awesome routine down and life was good. Then at the beginning of the week it changed.

    Every time I leave the room he cries. If DH picks him up he whinges. When I put him down for a sleep he cries when I leave the room. Actually screams and cries.

    At first I thought he may be sick or teething, so I tried nurofen a few times, it didn't do much and he doesn't haves many 'sick signs' he had a bit of a runny nose (not bad though) and a little bit of congestion and it hasn't got worse or developed into coughing or anything.

    I hate CC and CIO but I admit the past couple of days have been exhausting and I've had to let him cry for a few minutes while leaving the room.

    Last night I resorted to rocking him to sleep but when he woke at 1am I brought him into bed with me which I only ever do in absolute emergencies where I'm just so exhausted.

    Tonight I let him cry a little and now he's stopped and hopefully going to sleep.

    I just needed a vent and some settling tips. I thought I had it all under control, except for now this separation anxiety - at least that's what I think it is?

  2. #2
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    All mine have gone through this between about 14-18 months, I think it is a pretty typical age. My personal theory is once they start walking well and discovering they can really go where they want and do things without you, it all gets a bit overwhelming! IME, helping them through it by giving the extra attention they requir (cuddles, rockingl patting, less separation) e helps them get over it quicker and helps them to feel confident.

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    Thanks, we give him LOADS of attention anyway. I'm always cuddling him, talking to him, playing with him etc and DH is very hands on too. I guess we should just do more, I don't mind it at all, it's just sometimes it's very draining, especially at night when I'm hungry and tired too and I can't get him to settle to go to sleep etc. sometimes he will fall asleep in my arms and as soon as I out him down he wakes up, so then I'm back to square one

    I gues that's where I need some tips.

    He hasn't cried or stirred since my first post do hopefully he's asleep, I'm ping to go check in him now and hopefully he won't wake.

    I got so used to this nice routine we had!!

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    I know it is hard Our 19 month old is going through it atm. I didn't mean you didn't give him loads of attention. I was just sort of saying that some people suggest getting firm in these situations by using CC or whatever...but I have seen in my own kids, the ones I have carried through this stage, seem to be more confident and come out of it quicker if that makes sense

    Is it possible he has an ear infection or something>? You never know. Good luck hope it ends soon xo

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    Mrs Molly Coddle is offline I've admitted in writing that veve is awesome - eeek she has proof!!!
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    It's the age at 18-24 months, babies begin to understand object permanence. Before that, they have no idea that when they cant see you, you are still there! They think you've disappeared forever when you leave the room.
    Practice playing peek-a-boo with bubs, poke your head back around the corner a few times after you leave the room etc. It might help speed things along, but it's an understanding they havent developed yet.
    It won't last forever, except in extreme circumstances where kids develop separation anxiety disorder. But that's not something to worry about in a baby that age
    HTH

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    Thanks, yeah we have been playing peek-a-boo since he was a few weeks old coz it always made him smile. Still does haha

    I'll be more attentive and try give more attention as well an hopefully that works.

    As for ear infections... I'm not sure coz I haven't taken him to the doctor but I don't think so. I hope not coz he's already had two in his short little life

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    I feel like the worst mother in the world DS has woken up screaming. He only screams until I pick him up. I can't hold him all night and he won't stop crying. I'm trying to do my 'settle, tuck him back in bed, walk out, wait etc' but every time I put him down he screams normally this works but the past few days has been so difficult. Tonight included

    I hate it when he is so upset I feel like a horrible mother when he's crying so much

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    DS went through a period like this. He'd wake up crying hysterically so I'd go in and try to calm him down but he'd just get even more upset when I went to leave the room again. It was a real panicky cry too and he'd grab my arm and cling to me too. Like you, I ended up bringing him into bed with me and he'd stop crying and go back to sleep without any issues at all. I worried I was creating a habit but it only lasted a couple of weeks before he went back to his normal self and slept through the night in his cot again.

    Hugs to you, I know it's a tough phase but it will pass!

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    Thanks, yes that sounds exactly like what DS does, poor little guy clings to my arms etc. it really does break my heart.

    He's thankfully fallen asleep again. Hope he stays asleep now. Poor little guy

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    I know how you feel I can't leave ds to cio or cc.

    When bed time comes, I put him in his cot after our bed routine, and sit beside the cot on the floor. I limit interaction to only acalm quiet "lay down please bubba. Bed time" and pat his matress.

    up until last week he was being rocked to sleep each time and had since birth pretty much.

    He won't even stay with df if when he wakes during the night and I need to visit the little girls room. He screams emotionally and umcontrollably until I come back. Once I take him he stops in half a heart beat.

    Very tiring but he will grow out of it

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