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  1. #1
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    Default No motivation always alone

    I have 2 toddlers and I'm preg again. I'm 9weeks.

    I have 0 motivation to do anything an the house is taking the toll due to this. My partner is starting to turn into a ********* an keeps making snid comments about how messy the house is yet never helps me. He works almost all day and sometimes 6 days a week he only worked 5 days and finished before 1pm twice. I only ever get a break from the kids te 1 day A week they go to daycare and in that day I have to get shopping done an anything else. The past 3 weeks iv been sick with migraines an now a cold. He dosnt seem to care about any of this an keeps saying if he was home with our kids the house would be spotless. I no for a fact it wouldn't coz he stresses out at the kids wanting to play with him, and he would be watching his tv all day. I have no family that live near me. So I'm alone. Iv only just got the car back and iv started taking the kids out to the park. I don't know what to do about my motivation with cleaning, it's just non existent and I wouldn't even know where to start. He even got angry at me because there is mould on the walls in the bath room where I can't reach (I'm very short) even standing on a chair. He makes a mess everytime he is home an I have to clean it. And I just don't no anymore

  2. #2
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    I hear you, my house is messy and I have 0 motivation too, my dad passed away recently and I just don't feel happy anymore, I'm stuck in a rut and I need to get myself out of it, I think DH is picking up on my unhappiness. For me I try and get out of the house every day, even if it's just to go to the shops otherwise I will sit and do practically nothing except for entertaining DS. TBH I think I have a bit of depression, I hope you get the lift you need soon.

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    Bonkers  (21-07-2012),Laydeebugxxx  (21-07-2012)

  4. #3
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    Firstly, you have 2 toddlers and you're pregnant - your job is looking after the kids and your one on the way (and yourself). It is not your job to be solely responsible for the house on top of this! Your DH contributes to the mess, he needs to contribute to the clean up. Can you do up a cleaning list (things to be done) and you divide the jobs up between you? Ie the chemical jobs like getting rid of mould go to him, as you're pregnant. My DH and I have always split things so that i vacuum and mop, and he does the bathrooms because i hate using bleach/mould killer.

    Secondly, when it comes to housework motivation I have none either. Its something I have to literally force myself to do. I find it helps if I set myself small goals, such as, vacuum the floors before checking bubhub for the day, or before reading the paper or whatever would work as a reward. And get the kids playing the 'tidy up' game with you. My 7 year old is not interested in the slightest, but my 2 year old loves helping tidy up and actually loves to vacuum too.

    Big hugs. It really irritates me to hear of partners refusing to help with the housework. You're a stay at home mum, not a stay at home housemaid.

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    Alphabetsoup  (21-07-2012),Bonkers  (21-07-2012),jagamoe  (21-07-2012)

  6. #4
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    no he wont help, he thinks he does enough work at work and i dont do anything

    thanks for the kinds words ladies i needed it xx

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    What I did when my ex DP told me I didn't do anything when I was preg with DD and had DS to chase after all day was exactly that. I went on strike I did nothing at all no dishes no vac no mopping sweeping didn't do washing or change cat litter did absolutely nothing for 3 days. He noticed I did nothing n threw the same u don't Do anything arguement at me so I didn't and then on the 3rd day he asked me why I hadn't done anything told him cause he said I did nothing so I did nothing to prove how much I actually did . He never pulled that again

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