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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Even if that were to happen, there comes a time when you need to be accountable, even if you had the worst upbringing ever. I understand that with severe addiction to alcohol only about 3% will get well and not drink anymore, so it is by far the minority, but I still don't think it is a good enough excuse. "woe is me, I killed someone, but I am an alcoholic".
    I"ve read studies that say over 35% recover. I know many, many that have. I do agree that consequences are required, definitely. I just know that in cases like I stated above (drug dependance from a young age,no guidance, etc) I can't take a black and white, throw away the key stance.

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    I agree it's harder for the girl. And, I'm probably going to get shot for this, that's why parents of girls need to work doubly harder to ensure their kids know about and practice safe sex... Responsibilty for this ultimately falls on the baby carrier.
    No, ALL parents should be working quadrupilly (haha, word) as hard!

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Then I would say where were the parents in that situation, how is an 11 year old able to access drugs??
    My DH was drinking and smoking half a pack of ciggies a day at 11. His parents happily bought it all for him and would sit on the couch drinking with him. They used the lazy parent approach of "he's going to do it anyway, so why bother stopping it"

    He stole his first weed from his mum's stash at 13, and they bought him it from then on.

    PLENTY of kids have parents as idiotic and atrocious as this, but they hide it well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post

    I agree it's harder for the girl. And, I'm probably going to get shot for this, that's why parents of girls need to work doubly harder to ensure their kids know about and practice safe sex... Responsibility for this ultimately falls on the baby carrier.
    But let's remember that a girl doesn't get pg on their own. I will have my daughter on the pill by about 14 and condoms (and I know that may not be a popular view) but my son will also be given condoms and told to use them, every single time. If he gets a girl pg, no matter the age, he should be responsible.

    So many of us are saying we need, as a society and individuals, to be accountable for our actions, I don't see why males are different. I also don't think it's fair for the tax payer and the girls parents to raise the child financially, without input from the father - even if he is 16, even $20 a week can make a difference, and as I said , it's the principle.

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  6. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by wantmore View Post
    So if ur child had a baby in high school you wouldn't help support your grand child. Jeez I hope to hell if u have sons they never have under age s3x and get a girl pregnant
    I wouldn't.

    My daughter has known where babies come from since she was old enough to ask.
    You can't say that teenagers don't know how babies are made. You can't say that teenagers don't know how much it costs to raise a baby.

    It therefore follows that if they have sex, they can have a baby that they cannot afford.
    That is taking an educated risk, same as driving an unlicensed car, skateboarding off a roof, underage drinking. There's a chance everything will be fine, but a higher chance that it will all go to hell.

    If they're old enough to understand what s.ex gets them, they're old enough to take full responsibility for it.

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    You seriously wouldn't help support your grandchild? Crikey, I was 22 when I got pg with my first, I'm an articulate, intelligent women from a good home and I still didn't think it would happen to me!!! At 22!!! I own my actions, but I sure as hell expected my boyfriend to as well!

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    I agree Annabella. I would DEFINITELY not hesistate to support my child and grandchild if this were to occur (fingers crossed it doesn't!!)

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    That stat that I gave was to do with people who start drinking at age 11 and don't stop, I was talking to the drug and alcohol counsellors in Victoria (Directline) regarding a family member and they are the ones who told me that figure. I think it was very specific in terms of age started and length of time drinking and the amount that was being consumed as well. All problem drinkers are different and some are worse than others, they classed my family member as extremely bad, and told me that I should grieve for him as it was very unlikely that he would get better (3% in that situation).

    I don't think it is black and white and throw away the key at all - but if you are an adult, then you need to take responsibility for your actions, regardless of if you have a drug/drink problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Refresh View Post
    I"ve read studies that say over 35% recover. I know many, many that have. I do agree that consequences are required, definitely. I just know that in cases like I stated above (drug dependance from a young age,no guidance, etc) I can't take a black and white, throw away the key stance.

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    but if you are an adult, then you need to take responsibility for your actions,

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    That seems to me that you are then putting the baby in a precarious position, and lets face it, it isn't their fault at all.

    Don't get me wrong - I would be devastated if my children had babies when they were young, but I wouldn't kick them out over it.

    Quote Originally Posted by ToughLove View Post
    I wouldn't.

    My daughter has known where babies come from since she was old enough to ask.
    You can't say that teenagers don't know how babies are made. You can't say that teenagers don't know how much it costs to raise a baby.

    It therefore follows that if they have sex, they can have a baby that they cannot afford.
    That is taking an educated risk, same as driving an unlicensed car, skateboarding off a roof, underage drinking. There's a chance everything will be fine, but a higher chance that it will all go to hell.

    If they're old enough to understand what s.ex gets them, they're old enough to take full responsibility for it.


 

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