View Poll Results: Who is accountable?

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  • The parents and the child/youth perpetrator are legally accountable

    4 8.70%
  • The parents are accountable, but legally, the child/youth perpetrator should suffer all the consequences

    6 13.04%
  • The child/youth perpetrator is completely accountable for their actions

    34 73.91%
  • Other

    2 4.35%
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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Supposing one subscribed to your way of thinking, where would you stop, would you blame the parents parents for raising them so badly that they raised their kids badly? Are we going to blame Hitlers Jewish Grandfather for what happened? Where does it end?
    I probably missed a major point. I don't want to hold parents accountable to lynch them. I want to know how to prevent this. I think there should be mandatory parenting programs for every parent to identify their own child's strengths and weaknesses and extra support for parents with challenging children. I think there should be a fundamental shift in societal perception that parenting a child is a right: its a responsibility. We don't own our children. We are raising the next generation, and we have a societal responsibility to raise functioning, healthy adults to the best of our ability. Where that ability is lacking, it should be identified, early, and improved. I also believe that broader social influences that increase the risk of violence in children, such as poverty, poor education, mental health, need more attention.

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  3. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beck87 View Post
    I accidentally THANKED you I didn't mean to at all, as I dont agree with you and what you have been saying.

    You can't keep playing a blame game in life, everyone has the power to become whoever they want to be & at 18 they know what they are doing, he is completely and solely responsible for his actions and he should be punished for what he did. As they say if you can commit the crime you can do the time..

    The poor guy that has lost his life and his family & friends who have lost their love one will never get him back, he was takin away by an awful person who has no care or respect for another human being, it disgusts me that some people try to make excuses for this kind of behavior!!!

    It's very sad that people you like think that just because there are people and systems in place who believe in punishment AND rehabilitation for offenders; who don't believe in treating them as evil, and believe in trying to help them so they don't hurt others again someone how insults the victim.

    Terribly sad.

    Also I never ever EVER made excuses for him. Of course he should be punished. Im just trying to understand it. You should really read my posts.

  4. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lilahh View Post
    It's very sad that people you like think that just because there are people and systems in place who believe in punishment AND rehabilitation for offenders; who don't believe in treating them as evil, and believe in trying to help them so they don't hurt others again someone how insults the victim.

    Terribly sad.

    Also I never ever EVER made excuses for him. Of course he should be punished. Im just trying to understand it. You should really read my posts.
    He did a deliberate action which resulted in the death of an innocent person, if this was your child dead would you be so forgiving? ??

    What if he was 25 instead of 18??? Would he deserve punishment then?

    My sympathy is with the victims family not the evil ******* who deliberately hurt someone

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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  6. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lilahh View Post

    Also I never ever EVER made excuses for him. Of course he should be punished. Im just trying to understand it. You should really read my posts.
    I know where you are coming from, I'm trained in a similar field and have a real interest in abnormal psych and understanding disordered thinking and behaviour.

    I guess I just disagree that all parents should be blamed. Maybe if it can be proven the child or adult was abused by their parents then there maybe a basis. But as a blanket measure - no.

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  8. #145
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    Quote Originally Posted by nemmi View Post
    he did a deliberate action which resulted in the death of an innocent person, if this was your child dead would you be so forgiving? ??

    What if he was 25 instead of 18??? Would he deserve punishment then?

    My sympathy is with the victims family not the evil ******* who deliberately hurt someone

    sent from my mb526 using bubhub

    for the hundredth time im not excusing him

    omg people get hysterical and dont read what im saying~!

  9. #146
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    Lilahh you are a terribly aggressive debater. I would say more but you're style is horribly off putting, so I'll just say this. I highly disagree with you.

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  11. #147
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexander Beetle View Post
    Lilahh you are a terribly aggressive debater. I would say more but you're style is horribly off putting, so I'll just say this. I highly disagree with you.
    This.

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  13. #148
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    What about parents who are poor parents, but think they are doing the right thing? The ones who are good people, but may be a bit slack on discipline because they are worried about being too harsh on their kids, or similar? I've met plenty through my work, good law-abiding people who are raising little sh*ts because of choices they are making with the best of intentions. Are we going to punish them when their kids stuff up, for being misguided rather than neglectful, abusive etc?

    My brother was punched in the head by a stranger while out in Newcastle, and he's lucky that he's big and ugly enough not to be too badly hurt (split chin which needed stitches). He was just minding his own business. It's scary reading about cases like this one.

  14. #149
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    I dunno how to word what i want to say without it sounding odd.

    My ds#2 (only three years old) has autism, he will be able to function in the world on his own one day without me.

    He has a very aggressive personality. Its not learned, the psych has said if u take away his age appropriate behaviour, underneath there is a very defiant aggressive side to his personality. Of course he also can be a real sweetheart, definitely only on his terms tho.

    We go to behavural therapy. Occupational therapy, speech therapy as well as early intervention therapy which includes social therapies.

    There will come a time where all this help becomes pointless and we just have to hope that what we do now, stops him from being the kind of 18 yr old that king hits someone and kills them.

    I'm doing everything i can... But...ultimately his personality is there, its in-built.

    If one day he does get into trouble for something, i certainly hope that i will not be labelled as a failed parent, or worse be punished for actions that were put of my control. I think the devastation i would feel knowing someone i created, nurtured, love and tried to help did something that horrible would be punishment enough. I would never recover. I would still love my son, because if he was capable of something like that, i would only assume he wouldnt have many people in his life... And regardless of what he'd done, i couldnt leave him alone in the world.

    Well there is my ramble. This came at a weird time for me, as my son and his behaviour has been playing on my mind and worrying me a lot lately.

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  16. #150
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    I blame my parents.


    Seriously though, I dont mean to be. I find a lot of posters here passive aggressive. And people just are frustrating when they don't read or listen.

    I really don't mean to be, I'll try to end things with less exclamation marks? Sorry.


 

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