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  1. #1
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    Default For those who have had big and small age gaps...

    Which did you prefer? Why?

    I have three years eight months between DS1 and DS2 and had been planning three years between the next kids (we want three or four kids).

    There are lots of things I like about the bigger gaps. I love that I get more time to focus on the toddler time, my body gets more time to recover and that the kids are at different stages so there's less jealousy.

    But I'm questioning all that at the moment with an eight month old and a four year old who want such vastly different things. I'm wondering if it will be harder in the long run having say, a 10 year old, six year old, three year old and newborn? Will I miss out on a lot of my older kids because I always have a baby strapped to me? Am I better off to have the others closer in age so we can do more things together later on?

    I'll add that we'll be homeschooling so there won't be a situation where the older ones are at school so I can hang out with the baby.

    Any advice would be awesome. I'm confused!

  2. #2
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    I have a 5 yr gap and then a 20mth gap.
    Of course the older gap is easier for me and my 8 year old is so responsible and helpful!
    However I prefer the smaller age gap for the reasons you have stated. It's been harder but I'm enjoying that they have so much in common and are at the same stage.
    I feel DS misses out on a lot and has to put up with 2 mad toddlers. He loves them so much though and wants me to have another one!

  3. #3
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    I have a 7 year old and a 8 month old and due for another in december! The huge age gap is awesome! He give me help and he loves helping out too. I highly recommend a big age gap if anyone wants to consider it, but now I'll have a 12 month age gap between the littler ones so I'll go from one extreme to another.

    I think you just cope with what ever you are given

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    I have an almost 5 year gap and I love it for so many reasons. My ds is so helpful and independent and I don't have to worry about him if I'm settling my dd, or feeding her in another room. I can't imagine chasing a toddler around and trying to settle a newborn. But, as Neekie said you cope with what you are given ... and you work out ways to make it work for you.


 

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