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  1. #1
    ToughLove's Avatar
    ToughLove is offline Meaner than a junkyard dog
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    Default Bullying- Teacher or Parents?

    If your child is being bullied at school, do you confront the parents, or tell the teacher?

    There's a girl in DD's class that is constantly making trouble; she's very tall and thickset, and I've seen her pushing, kicking and spitting on other kids. This morning we were early to school so the class was running in circles around the flagpole.
    BullyKid stopped suddenly and DD plowed into her back, BullyKid turned around, pushed her on the chest and yells "Watch it, f***tard!"

    This is from a five year old, by the way, and there is a child with Down's in the class, so NOT the ideal thing to be saying.

    I've only ever met her mother, but she's a nasty piece of work. Our only conversation began and ended when she asked me if I regret having "a ginger kid, cos you know she'll always be behind the others with boys"
    As if that's my main goal for her in life!

    I've told the teacher before about my concerns for this kid and DD, but she has a big job to do with the entire class, and I fully understand she can't constantly hover over this kid to correct her language.

    Would you approach the parent, or be a serial tattle-tale and tell the teacher again?
    Is it appropriate to tell the Principal in this instance?

    I don't want the mother to get uppity because I'm constantly complaining about her kid behind her back, but based on her own *lack of* personality, I'm also worried she'll react nastily to me bringing it up with her.

  2. #2
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    To avoid confrontation with the mother I would probably speak to the teacher again.

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    Based on the fact that you already met the mother and she seems to lack social skills, manners, basic decency, I'd speak to the teacher. I guess it depends though. I also see what you mean about the mother saying you are going behind her back. Are you someone who is confident with someone like that mum? There is obviously a chance there will be a confrontation, whether you go to the teacher or straight to the source. Either way, the mum might react badly. It's hard. There were some big kids picking on my son at daycare last school holidays and tbh, there was a part of me that wanted to really get in those kids faces. Awful I know. Not very mature. But there is something just so gut wrenching about watching your own child being picked on

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    Having been in a situation similar with one of my children - teacher, teacher, teacher!!!!!

    The one and only time I spoke to the parent it didn't end well! Parents are always very defensive of their own children and this lady sounds like a bish!

    You are not a tattle-tale your child is being bullied and the school needs to take that seriously!

    Any good teacher will listen and act on your concerns - if you aren't happy with how she handles it then approach the principal

    At a guess the teacher would already be well aware of this child's behaviour - how awful for your DD I hope the school can get on top of it!
    Last edited by JaneDoe; 20-07-2012 at 09:00.

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    Definitely the teacher. Ask for a meeting with her, let her know exactly what the behavior is and then ask what her plan is to deal with it. Follow up after a week with an email asking how the plan is progressing.

    If there is no action or improvement in that time, I suggest you meet with the principal, ask to see their policy on bullying (or take a printed copy if they have it on their website) and ask, per their own policy, how they intend to manage the behaviour.

    At five, the bully is still very much a small child, she needs good role modelling and behavior management from the school.

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    I'd go teacher again then principal if it continues.

    Also I am gobsmacked at her comment about being a "ginger". I am a red head and TRUST ME, your dd will be fighting men of with a stick! Haha

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    Oooh, definitely approach the teacher! I'd avoid the bully's mother like the plague.... It's clear to see where the child is learning her bad language from... And I'm pretty sure you'd get a mouth full of it if you were to speak to the mother.
    If you have no joy with the teacher ... Speak to the head.
    Good luck

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    I would personally speak to the principle who can in turn speak to the mother

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    firstly you don't 'confront' either the best course of action is to speak to the class teacher and if unsatisfied speak to the principal.

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    Principal, already gone to the teacher once and doesn't sound like they were supportive


 

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