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  1. #1
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    Default looking to talk..

    hey all!i'm wanting to talk /listen about my own & others journeys through PND & what you did or would recommend to over come it..


    i'll start by introducing myself, i'm a young mum (19) of two (my daughter is 2 & son is 7 months) and it all started after my daughter was born & me being so young i thought it would go away. i was determined to breast feed, and raise my daughter the way i thought would be best but the 'in laws' had other plans. my 'sister in law' came home with us when we left the hospital (we had a bit of trouble feeding and latching there) & straight away stopped at a chemist, bought back the tin of formula, that was the end of breastfeeding. i felt hurt and really sad actually that i couldn't just bond with my baby but everyone else got to as well.. it was hard for me to speak up, i didn't have the courage. months went by and they were always trying to get in my business & take over then it really got bad. my 'mother in law' invited my partner over to talk, when he got home i was not happy with what he said, my MIL had stated that MY DAD wouldn't be the good type of person around my kids (without meeting him) & she said i ignore my own daughter, i snapped.. i told them all here to go and things started getting easier. then i found out i was pregnant again, i was having troubles with friends & family stuff going on so i wasn't really excited about it like i thought i would be.. the time came & i gave birth to my little boy, that changed everything i was excited & couldn't believe i was doing it all over again.
    well recently everything's gone back to the way it was with the 'in laws' they constantly bicker, tell me i'm hiding the kids from them all because i don't want to catch a bus there (i don't drive, but they do) they never speak to us unless it's a birthday or christmas (i think families should be a little more involved than that) plus all my friends pretty much disowned me, my family problems have come back up, my son barely sleeps he usually wakes up every hour or 2 & i get no support from my partner, he tells me he's sick of my attitude my moods and that i am not fun anymore.. i don't know how much i can handle, i barely leave my house i can't be bothered doing house work, i just feel so drained..


    sorry for going on, but thanks for listening..
    any advice or stories would really help xxx

  2. #2
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    First of all, sending you massive ((((hugs)))). I'm on my phone ATM but when I get to the computer I will tell you my story. A brief outline is I had my first daughter at 18, and had difficulty breast feeding. The first night home resulted in her at one end of the bed and me at the other both screaming our lungs out. That pretty much set the bar for our relationship over the next 5 years. I was diagnosed with PND when she was about 3 months old. I had tried ending both our lives on several occasions. My relationship at the time was very abusive and we were homeless for a lot of her first year. I started taking medication and had a psychartrist visit me daily for a few months. I eventually stopped taking my meds and the visits were cut down. Then when my daughter was about 8 months old, I suffocated her and had to revive her. So. Back on the meds I went. Her dad and I split and I moved home with my family. I got worse before I got better. Met a nice guy and Started a new life. Then her dad and I decided to give us another go about a year later. We had both changed and grown up and were in better places. 3 months later we found out I was pregnant with our second daughter. That experience was completely opposite to the first. I coped brilliantly and settled into life as a new mum like it was nothing. I was still off medication and so do proud of myself. Now, 2 years on I am pregnant with our third daughter and have been diagnosed with Prenatal Depression and I am again on medication. A lot of the issues are still relating to my first daughter, as oppose to this pregnancy. I am seeing a counsellor, plus seeking help from a child behavior psychologist as my daughters behavior contributes a massive chunk to my anxiety and stress. Things are slowly improving.

    I have learned that it's nothing to be ashamed of. It takes a lot of courage and strength to admit there is a problem, and more strength and courage to receive and accept help, in whatever form that may be.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    First of all, sending you massive ((((hugs)))). I'm on my phone ATM but when I get to the computer I will tell you my story. A brief outline is I had my first daughter at 18, and had difficulty breast feeding. The first night home resulted in her at one end of the bed and me at the other both screaming our lungs out. That pretty much set the bar for our relationship over the next 5 years. I was diagnosed with PND when she was about 3 months old. I had tried ending both our lives on several occasions. My relationship at the time was very abusive and we were homeless for a lot of her first year. I started taking medication and had a psychartrist visit me daily for a few months. I eventually stopped taking my meds and the visits were cut down. Then when my daughter was about 8 months old, I suffocated her and had to revive her. So. Back on the meds I went. Her dad and I split and I moved home with my family. I got worse before I got better. Met a nice guy and Started a new life. Then her dad and I decided to give us another go about a year later. We had both changed and grown up and were in better places. 3 months later we found out I was pregnant with our second daughter. That experience was completely opposite to the first. I coped brilliantly and settled into life as a new mum like it was nothing. I was still off medication and so do proud of myself. Now, 2 years on I am pregnant with our third daughter and have been diagnosed with Prenatal Depression and I am again on medication. A lot of the issues are still relating to my first daughter, as oppose to this pregnancy. I am seeing a counsellor, plus seeking help from a child behavior psychologist as my daughters behavior contributes a massive chunk to my anxiety and stress. Things are slowly improving.

    I have learned that it's nothing to be ashamed of. It takes a lot of courage and strength to admit there is a problem, and more strength and courage to receive and accept help, in whatever form that may be.


    oh wow, that seems so scary. i have no idea what that would be like.. but i know it's really hard and i just felt the need to write on here to talk to others about it, people who understand because my other friends (without kids) don't and i know they pretend to but i know they have no idea and it makes things harder because i don't really have any other mummy friends. i live alone, just me and the kids so things do get tough i don't really get the support from my family that's needed.. i'm embarrassed to see someone, i know it'd be better for me but i don't want my kids getting taken away i put on a brave face in front of everyone when deep down its killing me and i don't know how much more i can take before i snap xx

  4. #4
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    Don't ever be afraid they will take the kids off you because you are depressed. In most cases this would be even more detrimental to your mental state. It's hard when you have nobody to talk to or relate to, and even harder without family support. If you were located close to me I'd be happy to be a supportive ear, and shoulder to cry on. Please don't be afraid or embarrassed to see someone, you owe it to yourself and to your kids to be the best, happy mum possible.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to SheWarrior For This Useful Post:

    lilmissmegsypoo  (18-07-2012)


 

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