Do you think it's doable to have a natural birth if your first wasn't? I'm not even pregnant again or anything, I just find that I'm still working through guilt and regret about the birth of my DS in January.
I still feel sad about the lead up to his birth. I was so tired, hadn't slept properly in several days, waters had broken nearly a week before but it took 3 consecutive days of tests for them to confirm this, I'd spent 24 hours in early labour that didn't seem to be leading anywhere, I had to be put on penicillin to guard against infection and the IV placement was excruciating (!) and I had to spend a sleepless night in hospital before labour was even established. When labour finally was established I had 2 minute, often back-to-back contractions out of nowhere. I just kept thinking, "where is the break?" I ended up using gas and then having pethadine (which I said I really didn't want to do!). I still remember how out of it my little man looked, and he had breathing difficulty at first. I still hold so much guilt about this...wishing I hadn't had pethadine and then maybe we could have had that beautiful feed first, wishing I didn't have to spend some much of the labour in hospital...other things, too.
The main thing is that he's a healthy, happy little boy, AND I AM SO GRATEFUL, but I still feel like I let him (and myself) down by how the birth went. The pain of labour really rocked me... I really want my next bubs to have a very different welcome to the world, but I wonder if I have what it takes to birth naturally...
I know I'm rambling and I'm sorry this is long. I find I feel worse about the birth experience, not better, as time goes on.
Can anyone relate to any of this?