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  1. #1
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    Default Natural birth if your first wasn't?

    Do you think it's doable to have a natural birth if your first wasn't? I'm not even pregnant again or anything, I just find that I'm still working through guilt and regret about the birth of my DS in January.

    I still feel sad about the lead up to his birth. I was so tired, hadn't slept properly in several days, waters had broken nearly a week before but it took 3 consecutive days of tests for them to confirm this, I'd spent 24 hours in early labour that didn't seem to be leading anywhere, I had to be put on penicillin to guard against infection and the IV placement was excruciating (!) and I had to spend a sleepless night in hospital before labour was even established. When labour finally was established I had 2 minute, often back-to-back contractions out of nowhere. I just kept thinking, "where is the break?" I ended up using gas and then having pethadine (which I said I really didn't want to do!). I still remember how out of it my little man looked, and he had breathing difficulty at first. I still hold so much guilt about this...wishing I hadn't had pethadine and then maybe we could have had that beautiful feed first, wishing I didn't have to spend some much of the labour in hospital...other things, too.

    The main thing is that he's a healthy, happy little boy, AND I AM SO GRATEFUL, but I still feel like I let him (and myself) down by how the birth went. The pain of labour really rocked me... I really want my next bubs to have a very different welcome to the world, but I wonder if I have what it takes to birth naturally...

    I know I'm rambling and I'm sorry this is long. I find I feel worse about the birth experience, not better, as time goes on.

    Can anyone relate to any of this?

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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    I can definitely relate and I can definitely say that natural birth the second time around is definitely achievable.

    My first labor was terrible, I was induced on Thursday morning (9am) and after loads of interventions I had an emergency cesarean on Friday night(11.53pm). I was incredibly traumatised and guilty about his birth. I was angry at the hospital and I was angry at myself for not being prepared.

    I fell pregnant again (a surprise) when DS was 6 months old. I freaked out, but I knew I needed to have a natural birth this time around.

    So I researched my butt off and came to the conclusion that I needed a doula. I found one and she was perfect. She suggested hypnobirthing to me so I read up about that and practiced at home (did meditation every night etc). I researched as much as I could about interventions etc and I began to regain confidence in my body. I knew I could do it.

    I birthed my daughter into my arms in the shower. I had no drugs, no internals, no continual monitoring... basically no intervention whatsoever. It was an amazing experience and I am so grateful it worked out so well for me.

    For me support was the most important thing. My doula was a great resource for that and my hubby was onboard and passionate about natural birth as well. I would definitely suggest hiring a doula and looking into drug free pain relief, like homeopathics, accupressure, hypnobirthing etc.

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    After 20 hours of labour I had to have an emergency c section. Some days I still feel incredibly ripped off and sad that I didn't get to 'finish the job' as such.

    I def want to have a natural next time.. They obgyn told me after c section if I wanted to I naturally next time I should wait 2 years to get pg again.

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    Theophania, wow! What a contrast. Thanks for sharing so much and thanks for your advice. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant... even though we're very close to the 6 month mark , but I am already reading up on a very different way of doing things next time around. I will look into finding a doula when the time comes. Thanks again for your encouragement.

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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    Quote Originally Posted by CB12 View Post
    After 20 hours of labour I had to have an emergency c section. Some days I still feel incredibly ripped off and sad that I didn't get to 'finish the job' as such.

    I def want to have a natural next time.. They obgyn told me after c section if I wanted to I naturally next time I should wait 2 years to get pg again.
    From what I have read it doesn't matter if you wait 2 years or not... If you wanted to fall pregnant sooner maybe you could look into that? I had my VBAC 16 months after my cesarean and my sister had hers 14 months after and we both had no issues and no doctors that told us to wait or anything.

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    Definitely do-able.

    I did it with my 2 babies. DS was induced at 42+2. It was horrible, apart from a CS (which I came very close to having) I had every form of intervention possible and I felt like I had failed my first step into motherhood. BFing was a nightmare so I then failed step 2. At 42 weeks I went into the hospital for a check up and the OB said to me "we'll book you in for an inducation tonight, ok?" whilst she reached for the phone to make the booking. I had S&S, gel, ARM, syntocin, continual monitoring, an epi (the pain was too much withing the first hour) and finally a vacuum delivery which left me with a 3rd degree tear.

    I so wanted to have a more normal experience for DD and spent hours reading and preparing. I totally second what a PP said re hypno-birthing. I didn't do any classes, I just read a book but it made me understand about the fear-pain cycle and to not be afraid of labour. Strategies that helped me included:
    - walking a lot to help get her in the right position,
    - sitting on a fitness ball legs apart and leaning forward resting on a stool to help baby in the right position
    - not be afraid of labour
    - stay at home for as long as possible when labour starts
    - practice and be confident at saying no to interventions

    I ended up having an intervention free birth with DD (although there were complications afterwards) and it was easy peasy. No hysterical screaming, the pain was very bearable up until about the last hour.

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