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  1. #71
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    Because it's what people do. We always think someone has it a little better than ourselves and sometimes we need a reality check. I don't know how you get through to people who have this attitude, but of course the truth is that every one of us has faced difficulty in our lives, some just seem to have it more than others and/or their ability to cope is different. I think people will always be this way.

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I dunno, do you know they aren't even allowed to use the world "no" in childcare. I just find that so bizarre. No is a word, it is not even an offensive word. The world has gone insane.

    I would always follow up advice with my own research -like I wouldn't come on to a forum and read stuff about vaccinating and do whatever was being said. You know?
    I think it's more because "no" can be ineffectual. Its not really an instruction. Whereas "stop" is. Or with saying "don't touch the chair" small people hear "touch the chair" - so "hands in the air!" Gets a much quicker result than just saying "no".

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    Last edited by Boobycino; 19-07-2012 at 11:04.

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  4. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I have gotten "you're so lucky to be a SAHM" with the rolly eye from someone that worked 1 day a week or fortnight lol don't get me wrong they are working a shift a fortnight in paid employment than me. But c'mon....

    I'm also getting alot of "well at least you already have 2 healthy kids you know, you are very lucky some people don't have any" in response to my recent ectopic. I don't think it's meant in a mean way but Urmmm I know that. The fact I'm mourning this loss and everything that has happened in the last 3 weeks doesn't mean I don't love or appreciate the kids I have
    I heard this a lot when I was doing ivf and we were ttc #2. It took us ages but because we already had one child, it was as if we weren't allowed to grieve every failed cycle because we were "lucky" to have one child already.

    Off topic, but when it comes to desiring more children, I have no interest in people telling other people they should be grateful for what they've got. It's not fair.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    Oh see I totally agree with this! You have to wait until the younger one is old enough to play but I do think it is easier...there's more work load yes, but if your children get along (mine do) then it's like permanent play mate!
    I hope so - but I was told that when I had a 3 week old and a 3.5 year old. The 3 week old can't even see the 3 year old! Let alone be entertained by him!

    Though now she's 4 months I do try to get a bit of housework done first thing in the morning before jasper goes to kindy because katelyn does demand more of my attention when jasper isn't home. He's harder work though, she fits in around him but jasper gets jealous when I'm feeding or changing her. Then they both still wake through the night. And nearly 3.5 years between them I'm not sure how well they'll play together as they grow up. I hope they will be mates.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    It's because "no" can be ineffectual. Its not really an instruction. Whereas "stop" is. Or with saying "don't touch the chair" small people hear "touch the chair" - so "hands in the air!" Gets a much quicker result than just saying "no".

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    Or my favourite that adults usually do. Which is when a hot plate is put in front of them and the waiter says "it's hot" we always have to touch it in case they're not telling the truth.
    Last edited by Sonja; 19-07-2012 at 11:08.

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    I've had a think. From memory the "you have no idea what it's like to have two kids" was in relation to a thread about, of all things, cleaning! Someone with one child offered advice about cleaning and was told you have no clue, you only have one.

    See, to me, cleaning is cleaning. If I asked the best or quickest way to clean a toilet I wouldn't tell someone "oh you have no clue, you don't live with two BOYS!!".

    The other member went and had another child and returned and stuck with her original cleaning ideas

    My friend who is the main offender has one child like me. A little boy. I'm always the lucky one because....whatever! I do genuinely feel for her but I'm getting a bit sick of hearing her problems and her not taking the time to listen to me because I'm always fobbed off as the lucky one who shouldn't complain. I *always* try to empathise with her and never fob her problems off. I try to help her - babysitting, lending money, shoulder to cry on etc.

    If I ever ask her for advice I wouldn't tell her "oh but you have no idea what it's like to have a 6 year old and work fulltime". I wouldn't tell someone "oh your house wouldn't be so tidy if you worked the hours I do"... I could end up with egg on my face - perhaps they will get a 40 hr/week job and blitz the home/life balance wheras I utterly fail when it comes to housekeeping after work.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    I hope so - but I was told that when I had a 3 week old and a 3.5 year old. The 3 week old can't even see the 3 year old! Let alone be entertained by him!

    Though now she's 4 months I do try to get a bit of housework done first thing in the morning before jasper goes to kindy because katelyn does demand more of my attention when jasper isn't home. He's harder work though, she fits in around him but jasper gets jealous when I'm feeding or changing her. Then they both still wake through the night. And nearly 3.5 years between them I'm not sure how well they'll play together as they grow up. I hope they will be mates.

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    See, I can empathise with this because I have one I remember the newby days where I was non-stop breastfeeding.

    Where the heck I would have fit in a young child on top of the demands of a newborn plus lack of sleep I have no idea!

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  11. #78
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Yeah, it's odd, i dont get it either.

    There's a way to go about it i think...

    Like...

    X gets a new pair of shoes that i like, posts them on facebook.

    (hyperthetical, i dont give a shiz about shoes)

    Response could be a) "well arent you lucky you can afford those shoes"

    Or (how i would respond b) "awesome! Jealous!!!"

    I think it comes down to bitterness maybe? *shrug*

    Did i miss the point entirely?

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  13. #79
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    Generally though in those type of 'oh you're lucky' convos it's code for 'right now - even if only momentarily - I'm jealous of a particular aspect of your life'.

    Whether it is not having to get out of PJs all day or whether it is getting to interact with adults instead of little people during the day.

    When someone calls me lucky because I stay at home I don't ever consider they mean lucky in the ACTUAL sense of the word.
    This sums it up for me

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Or my favourite that adults usually do. Which is when a hot plate is put in front of them and the waiter says "it's hot" we always have to touch it in case they're not telling the truth.
    Lol waiter should say "hands on the table please, the plate is hot!" Lol.

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