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  1. #31
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    I think some people think too much about other peoples' lives and don't focus on their own enough.

    Just be happy with your own choices but if you're envious or wishful of someone else's life then maybe go about to make some changes.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Yeah that makes sense. I guess I'm thinking more of the 'see one minor snippet into someone's life and assume their entire life is easy and they have just had good luck fall upon them'.
    but that's exactly what it usually involves. I'd watch the well dressed woman dropping off her youngest child in my dd's preprimary class and then heading off to the shops or coffee or whatever, and I'd think "oh lucky her". Never maliciously, just on a whim as I'd drag my 2 screaming kids back to the car and back home to washing, feeding and generally unsettled behavior. But that woman hates her husband, who drinks too much, and her older kids are becoming strangers to her and none of them get along anymore. I just wanted that small snippet of her day where she got to get dressed by herself and meet friends for coffee, not the rest of it.

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    Benji  (18-07-2012)

  4. #33
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    Oh totally. I definitely agree re the threads on here re entire groups of women/mothers.

    I do think though in terms of seeing a small snippet of someone's life and declaring them lucky, for the most part it's not really intended to mean lucky in the strictest sense. And if it is then yeah, it's probably offensive.

    I also don't think they generally mean to suggest someone's entire life is a breeze or easy or indulgent - just that the one snippet sounds pretty good to them then and there.

    DD and I had lunch at one of her friends' today and I was talking to her mother who is doing a design course and she mentioned she was going to a trade event. I said 'oh how amazing, I'm very jealous'. I could have easily said 'oh you're so lucky' and I would have meant the same thing. I wouldn't have been suggesting it was pure luck, just that I think it would be a great thing to do and I'd love to have that opportunity too.

    Maybe I'm over thinking it from the other end of it - I guess noone makes great big sweeping assumptions about my entire life and I don't about others so I just assume any 'you're so lucky' only relates to a particular moment or even or experience and isn't meant maliciously.

    Tone makes a difference, too?

    'you're lucky' said with a sneer is vastly different to 'oh you're SO lucky' said with an exclamation.

    The 'well you're lucky' in SAHM v WM threads tends to be either snide or condescending or implying some level of uber-martyrdom on the part of the poster that no other mother could ever possibly hope to achieve even if she lived out of a cardboard box with 85 high achieving children, no outside help while working as a CEO and running a charity for three-legged kittens on the side.

  5. #34
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    That's understandable - the 'you're lucky you get to go to the concert' etc as in 'I'm jealous'

    Haha yes, gotta love the CEO with the three legged kitten charity.

  6. #35
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    I forgot she also manages to look pristine at all times and give her husband a blow job every night.

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  8. #36
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    People actually are concerned with other people's lives? I'm sure people look at me with only one child and think, boy she's got it easy... So what?

    Maybe I'm just self centred.. Maybe that's the reason I couldn't give 2 hoots about some other woman's life lol

    ***Sent from my phone***

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    Benji  (18-07-2012)

  10. #37
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    I believe most luck is actually a lot of hard work.

    I get told ... You are lucky to be sahm ... We have nice cars, a manageable mortgage and a modest lifestyle. No it's not luck ... Dh and I worked our butts off before children so that when we had children we could do this. We don't do aeroplane holidays, we don't go out for dinners but we do go for bike rides, playgrounds and have a caravan so we have some awesome holidays!! Even when baby 2 came along much sooner than we had planned so I couldn't go back to work (I did after baby 1) ... It wasnt dire straits we just cut back and were able to live within our means.
    Is this luck??? No damn way and I find it so offensive when people who have never worked a day in their life tell me once again how lucky I am!!!!!

  11. #38
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    I think luck has a lot to do with it, I know that will sound contradictory. But I consider myself lucky to have the ability to be able to be employable, I'm lucky that I'm physically abled, lucky that I was born here and not in a dirt poor country doomed with a life of poverty, lucky that my DP hasn't got up and left me and taken all of my belongings/money.

    I dunno... I guess I just get tired of the first world problems.

    The main offender who calls me out on my 'luck' had the same opportunities as me - we even went to the same primary and high school for crying out loud. Both from good families.

    I'm just tired of the constant first world problems and how everyone has it so much easier and nobody loves me I'm going to eat worms - over trivial matters. It's just doing my head in.

    She tells me how lucky I am to be able to drive to work alone. Yay. I get to drop off 1-2 loud children to school and then am stuck in peak hour traffic for the next 45 minutes - yippee. I don't consider it that bad, but it certainly ain't a treat And how lucky that I get to go out. Lucky that my house is clean. Lucky that I get lunch breaks. Lucky this, lucky that, this isn't fair, that isn't fair. I just wish people could be happy and stop bringing everyone else down (this doesn't apply to true problems of course).
    Last edited by Benji; 18-07-2012 at 16:15.

  12. #39
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    I hate it, I work with kids and finish at 300pm I work a short walk to the school so the 2 mins it takes me to get to school I have gone from working to mummy. I get told how lucky I am and blah blah to only work 930-3 yes lucky because I cannot actually afford afterschool care . They are childless and work with kids I am a mummy and work with kids. I leave rooms of children demanding my attention to two kids who are demanding my attention while I do homework dinner and study(while looking at bub hub) afternoon snacks and supervise while they play in the yard while I sit on deck with my lappy as dinner simmers.

    I do not say to them you are so lucky with all the freedom they have. I love my kids and would rather be a mum but I would really love to only have to do one trip to car instead of 5 to get all the gear for day in.

    I think they think I come home and do nothing...maybe that is what they do lol
    Last edited by fairyflossfairy; 18-07-2012 at 17:16.

  13. #40
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    Just read a study that found that working Mother's are happier than sahms, on point of interest

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    Benji  (18-07-2012)


 

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