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  1. #1
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    Default stepping very lightly... I just don't understand sometimes

    OK I hope what I am about to post isn't insanely offensive.

    What I want to know is why do people say to others just as an example "oh, you're lucky because you work and you're not stuck at home all day with babies and toddlers. I can't sleep while you get to do this, that and the other?"

    First of all, thanks for telling me the ins and outs of my day, I'm flattered to have so many stalkers who know so much about my life.

    But didn't we kinda..... sorta.... choose to have our children?

    I chose not to have children very together because I couldn't afford to at the time and knew it would be tough.

    I don't say to my childless friends and family members "gee, you are so lucky to not have to get up to a screaming child all night"... they're not lucky - they made a decision to not have children yet!! (their time will come jk)

    I guess I could say "well you're lucky that you have more than one child".

    I just don't understand. Please don't take this as inflammatory - I am truly trying to understand why people consciously make a decision and then bag out others for their and act like they are living the high life without knowing anything about them.

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  3. #2
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    Oh benji...good luck lol.

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  5. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexander Beetle View Post
    Oh benji...good luck lol.
    Haha I know. I'm really not trying to rat on anyone, I'm just weirded out by the amount of people on facebook who keep bagging on their kids and saying how "lucky" I am and x person who has x and does x. I just want to know the rationale.

    I'm prob guilty of it as well, but a few seem to be very insistent upon others 'luck'.

  6. #4
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    The grass is always greener.

    You always want what you don't have.

    They're all the clichès I can think of right now lol.

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    Wow - that was the most non inflammatory post ever!!

    I do the whole, you don't know what it is like for me if you only have one kid, or whatever, Is that what you mean?

    I don't do the "you don't know how lucky you are", but I do the "yeah, you have no idea". Not to be mean - but just because it is true.

    Is that kind of what you meant? I mean, personally for me I didn't choose twins - and the last baby was an whoopsie, I know that I still want them all and I love them, but I never thought I would have 4 under 5, iykwim.

    Is that what you mean? Or have I totally read your post wrong?

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Wow - that was the most non inflammatory post ever!!

    I do the whole, you don't know what it is like for me if you only have one kid, or whatever, Is that what you mean?

    I don't do the "you don't know how lucky you are", but I do the "yeah, you have no idea". Not to be mean - but just because it is true.

    Is that kind of what you meant? I mean, personally for me I didn't choose twins - and the last baby was an whoopsie, I know that I still want them all and I love them, but I never thought I would have 4 under 5, iykwim.

    Is that what you mean? Or have I totally read your post wrong?
    No I think you've got it

    I do understand luck as in I'm lucky that I have a healthy child with no special needs. So lucky and grateful for this! So very much. That kind of thing is out of our control (as well as twins!)

    But people say "you're lucky because you're not doing x"... ummm it wasn't luck - I planned it!! I didn't win lotto

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    I agree the grass is always greener.
    Ive had from the same person 'oh youre so lucky to go back to work, I hate being stuck home all day' to 'I wish I didnt have to work, so I could sit home all day like you'
    Personally I can appreciate both sides. I like money and time alone, so work would be good, but I also like laying on the couch all day if I really want

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    Okay, another example.. I don't think I'm explaining myself very well. I lived with a friend when I was a SAHM. She told me I was 'lucky' because I didn't have to go to work like she did.

    Now I'm lucky because I get to go to work and she's at home with a baby!

    So I'm "lucky" because my DS is older and more self sufficient and not breastfed so I can leave him with DP and go out etc.

    So the 2.5 years I breastfed him and didn't go out mean nothing, I'm lucky because I can NOW have a bit of freedom and she has to suffer in her jocks while I get to gallavant around wearing my diamonds, pearls and drinking cristal and sleeping until noon every day.

  14. #9
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    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    Some people, though they love their kids, feel resentful at the freedom others may have. Because of that resentment, they express they're frustration by "belittling" people like yourself, even though they know deep down that it was their decision and in most cases they wouldn't change it for the world. It's just people's nature to want what the person next to them has and in your case, it's being able to go to work etc. By passing it off as luck, they shift any personal "blame" (wrong word but you know what I mean) from themselves and onto fate instead.

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  16. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I get to gallavant around wearing my diamonds, pearls and drinking cristal and sleeping until noon every day.
    Well, if you do that, it's no wonder they're jealous!


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