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  1. #1
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    Question Miscarriage 'etiquette'

    I am just wondering how many of you tell people that you have had miscarriages? I don't know if there is some kind of 'rule' where it is a taboo subject....

    I have had two miscarriages. The first miscarriage everyone knew about, as I was writing an IVF journal on facebook for my friends to follow. When I miscarried, after a few weeks I posted about it and I also got a tattoo which I posted a picture of. Everyone was extremely supportive.

    My second miscarriage, I had not been telling anyone that we were cycling or going through IVF. So only my best friend and family knows that I had another miscarriage.
    I go to get my tattoo for this baby tomorrow (a daffodil, birth flower of march when bub would have been born). It will connect up with the other tattoo (a rose bud, birth flower of june).

    This might sound silly but I feel as though if I dont share that there was another life lost then I am playing favourites with the first baby, I would like to share my tattoo with a poem on facebook....if that makes sense
    These tattoos are a way of saying goodbye but I will always remember you and have you with me. It leaves a sense of closure for me...

    I am kind of worried how some people may react though. Like, "why is she telling everyone she had a miscarriage on facebook"
    I dont want to offend anyone and I dont know if miscarriage is some kind of taboo subject.
    Personally I feel that when someone in our lives (e.g. a mother/father/grandparent etc.) passes away, then it is known and talked about and they are grieved for. We dont keep it a secret if our mum or dad has died, so why should we do the same for an unborn child???

    I dont know. Should I just keep it to myself?
    All oppions welcome xoxo

  2. #2
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    You do what works for you. If you wish to share, then share. I have tattoos and now tell people when they ask because now I feel strong enough but I didn't for a while afterwards. It's up to you to decide when you feel ready.

  3. #3
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    I too have had 2 m/c and people only know about the first, mainly because the responses i got after telling people the first time really hurt so I didn't want to go through that again. I think if you were met with so much support then absolutley feel free to talk about it and post a pic of your tattoo. I hate that miscarriage is so taboo it actually helps to recognise the baby that you have lost but i found no one wanted to talk about it so that's why bubhub has been so good to me. People were more supportive here than in real life. I am so sorry for your losses and I hope you have a sticky baby very soon.

  4. #4
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    Hey Meshel, lilmuffin and tracy, thank u all for replying x

    I know I really shouldnt worry too much about what others think or may say behind my back.
    I guess because everyone was supportive the first time round I didnt really think about whether their responses may hurt me or not but it is a good thing to take into consideration, since the circumstances are different this time and they haven't been following my journey like they did with the first m/c.

    I guess I just feel that the first babies life was recongnised by others and mourned for, and I don't want my second baby to miss out on the same thing because they were just as special and important as the first baby.
    Does that make sense?

    Tracy and Lilmuffin, I am so sorry for your losses also I agree, bubhub has been amazing, and I have made some amazing friends on here that have shown me support where no one in 'real life' has been able to.


 

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