Flowerpot wtf? *Shows
Flowerpot wtf? *Shows
What I've seen is in one camp, a group of BH's who are understanding and empathetic towards addiction. Then in another camp a group of BH's hell bent on passing their self righteous judgement onto everyone who in "their eyes" are child abusers.
I quit smoking when we were ttc our first and haven't looked back. Now for me it is not just a matter of my babies health but my own, it makes me sick to think about all the chemicals that I put into my body and the damage that i have already caused to myself.
At the end of the day I don't think it is an indication of what sort of mother they are going to be if they smoke. My mum smoked through all 5 of her pregnancies and she is the most caring, loving mum i could have ever asked for. She did cut down alot but couldn't kick the habit. My brother and I both have asthma and one of my younger sisters has a kidney problem (whether related I don't know), my other two sisters have no ongoing medical issues that i know of. Do I blame my mum for having asthma, do i resent her or think she is a bad mother? Absoluely not and neither do any of my siblings. My mum still smokes to this day and the only thing I worry about is losing her to cancer or something. For the record too none of my siblings smoke and I was the only one who ever did and I no longer do.
Well done to those that did cut down and quit all together I think you are all fantastic.
No one is saying it's the best choice, it isn't. As to having to sugar coat everything, no that's not needed, just a bit of empathy. It annoys me on here when people get all mean to each other, then when they are challenged on that they then twist it to saying there's no freedom of speech here and people have to tip toe.
I try not to post in these threads because like I said before I'm not objective and I know it.
But I strongly object to calling mothers child abusers for smoking, or saying they don't deserve children, or calling for smoking to be illegal for pregnant mums only.
People's previous lives don't suddenly cease when they become pregnant. They don't suddenly become capable of making only the best choices. But they still love their kids as much as everyone else. They might have smoked while pregnant, but may excel in other areas of parenting. You can't generalise and saying smoking mums, or pregnant ladies are bad parents etc etc.
I'll stop now because I'm not managing to word things the way I want, and I don't want to make an enotional thread worse. to those who've been honest about their struggles and are upset at the name calling.
Sure support and education are the key i never said otherwise but saying its not okay is a fair call i think. My sister recently smoked throughout her pregnancy. Did i say anything? No. But if she asked me to help her i would have. But she was happy to continue smoking so do i judge? Yes. If her child suffered because of it? Yes again. Honestly i think most would.
Those who knowingly put their child in harms way with no desire to stop is what i judge, not those who are actively trying to quit. And just cause i feel this way doesnt mean i think a womans right to choose should be taken away. That will never happen. I just wish it wasnt even an issue.
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