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  1. #41
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    Historically, I found it very hard to be sympathetic and was one of the more judgmental people I knew.

    But since doing a fair bit of reading on the philosophy of free will, I've become much more cautious about judging people on the decisions they make.

    I still slip into 'hardline' mode every so often but it's something I'm conscious of now.

    **Edit - that's not to say I think people shouldn't be held responsible for their actions**
    Last edited by Northerly; 14-07-2012 at 21:56.

  2. #42
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    I feel very empathetic of people, I don't however feel it can be used as an excuse for continuing bad behaviour.

    Quote Originally Posted by Refresh View Post
    sympathise/empathise with people who for whatever reason, make bad/less than ideal/however you want to put it, choices - criminal activity, drug addiction, etc?

    I have noticed in alot of threads lately there seems to be either people who look for the reasons behind why people do the things they do OR peope who take a more hardlined approach.

    Do you think sometimes it depends how much you have been through in your own life? If you have experienced adversity in your own life are you more likely to sympathise with others or the other way around? Those who take the hardline, why?

    I hope this makes sense!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    I dont think they are all good or all bad and I think there are far more good ppl then bad. I don't think it means they are unredeemable either.

    But I think when you met someone bad you know - I have met 3 bad ppl in my life.

    I think that is it also different to ppl with severe mental problems that impacts on their decision making/understanding - like sociopaths like Jeffrey Dahmer
    It would be very hard to empathize with someone who treated you very poorly, especially as a child. I'm sorry to hear that you experienced this.

    I was wondering whether you mean that the truly 'bad' people you have encountered are likely sociopaths? Or different to sociopaths?

  4. #44
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    I try to find the logic behind things, i dont understand people very well, but i relate to sadness quite easily.
    Last edited by Zombie_eyes; 14-07-2012 at 23:13.

  5. #45
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by ABigDeepBreath View Post
    It would be very hard to empathize with someone who treated you very poorly, especially as a child. I'm sorry to hear that you experienced this.

    I was wondering whether you mean that the truly 'bad' people you have encountered are likely sociopaths? Or different to sociopaths?
    I have empathy for them but I still think a few of them are actually bad ppl. It is complicated but just because some of them hurt me it wasn't really their fault per say. I mean it was their fault and they were responsible, but they ddi the best they knew how to do and deep down I view them as 'good' ppl. There were two others though who were just pure bad ppl and there is a friend of theirs who never did anything horrible to me but was another bad egg.

    I don't believe they are sociopaths though - these 'bad' ppl knew and understood exactly how others felt, understood society expectations and norms, were extremely controlled with their voilence and expression of voilence. I don't know if they felt guilt though, they prob did rationlise their behaviour (I was too young to really know).

    Anyway, its just how I feel - I don't believe it was some consequence of my upbringing or my way of procesing things and applying a reason or whatever. It is just that over time I have accepted that some ppl are bad.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sariele View Post
    This is me exactly. I find it very hard to empathise with anyone when whatever they're going through doesn't affect me directly. That sounds so cold, but it's just how I am. As well as drug abuse, crime, etc as mentioned in the OP, another example is when people around the country and the world are dying or losing their homes due to natural disasters or whatever, everyone else seems to cry while watching the news bulletins, but I don't get emotional at all. I just kind of vaguely feel bad for them then move on. Which is why I get annoyed when the media go on and on and on about stuff like this, cause I truly just get tired of hearing about it.

    That makes me sound like a horrible person, but I think I'm just very insular. I live in my own little world, and I like it here. Honestly, if I lost everything I held dear in a natural disaster, I would not expect or even want strangers to feel bad for me.
    Yes we do sound similar thiugh I should point out that even though I'm not an emotional person I still have a HUGE soft spot for Human and a animal rights and am quite an advocate when it comes to that kind of stuff... I am passionate, just not emotional

    ***Sent from my phone***

  7. #47
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    I am reasonably left wing/civil liberties/social justice/bleeding heart etc so I tend to be sympathetic and like to take things on a case-by-case basis.

    My partner claims I have an inner Liberal when it comes to people not working or being on Centrelink, and he says that I expect other people to be resilient like I am. He is probably right and I do have to watch myself in that area. He's a psychologist and tends to be very sympathetic to everybody.

    I think the more you hear about people's individual circumstances and struggles, the more sympathetic you become.

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    I admit sometimes I do judge, usually child abuse. But I do try to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. I try to ask why rather than jumping to judge. Life is grey, not black and white, and having a black and white approach to everything gives a very one dimensional, cold view of the world.

    Not saying I'm perfect and never judge, like I say, I do sometimes. But I try not to....

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    Yeah, I think it would be hard to find someone who never judges, ever.

    I do find the cold, black and white attitude hard to understand.

  11. #50
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I'm pretty cold hearted when it comes to illegal activities I think? A bit of a you do the crime you do your time type person but when that time is done and dusted I'm pretty good as moving on with a few exceptions (child abuse especially).

    Otherwise I'm a bleeding heart I always try to see the best in people and the smallest things make me emotional.


 

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