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  1. #1
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    Default Need some advice *please no judgement

    Hi. Just wanted to vent and get some advice. My husband and I had been together for 9 years (I was 16 when we first met).
    We have 4 year old twins together and recently separated in February this year. Due to financial reasons plus the fact my family has pretty much disowned me because I left- we both decided the kids were better off staying with him. So now to my current situation- I moved out with a very good friend which has recently turned into much more. And I found out about 2 weeks ago that I'm now pregnant. Apart from feeling like **** about myself, how do I go about tell my ex? My kids?

  2. #2
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    For starters...the *No Judgement bit, you shouldn't have to write that. No one should be judged unless your in their shoes. So sad that you have been left out of the family, they should be there to support you. What was their reason for wanting the kids to staywith the dad? The pregnancy certainly hasn't come at a good time for you though I can't really give you any advice with that side but i'd just talk it through with your new partner. I'm so sorry I have no advice it's a hard one but all the best of luck X

  3. #3
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    It was me ex and mines decision to have the kids stay with him. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but they do seem more well behaved/ and settled. My family won't speak to me because I was the one who left- and my mum doesn't agree with it. She thinks I should have stayed and just pretended to be happy. In regards to the new baby and my new partner- he's extremely happy about the baby. I am too in a way I just have major guilt issues.

  4. #4
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    Well only you and your ex parnter know what's best for the kids. There should be no guilt but I understand it would be hard not to. Thats good that your partner is happy about the pregnancy but the only thing that would worry me is that you haven't been together for long. This is a new sector of your life and even though its very soon it really is none of your ex's buisness

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    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    As long as you're involved in your twins life you have nothing to feel guilty over. You and your ex are equal parents and they have to live somewhere, society just always assumes the mum but that may not be best for them.

    Love your new bubba and love your twins and be happy

  6. #6
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    I kind of know a little of how you are feeling. My ex and I broke up a year ago. I recently started seeing someone else and fell pregnant unexpectedly. I dreaded telling my ex because I know he holds hope of us getting back together. After 2 weeks, using the wait for my first scan as an excuse, I told him. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do and he was, and still is, devastated. But you know what? After I calmed down, I felt relief - like I could finally enjoy this pregnancy and look forward to what is yet to come.

    I hope that helps. But good luck, and we're here if you want to vent


 

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