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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I'm not saying *everyone* should or does yell I just think its silly to compare parenting styles without bringing the family dynamics into it. I'm sure if my boys weren't spirited children who harmed each other what seems like constantly some days I would have very little need to yell either.

    I'm curious to know, if another child was going to harm your child would you yell out or would you let it happen while running over to them? Sorry but if my child is in danger I'm going to yell at whoever is about to harm them.
    I was dealing with kids with high behavioural needs, they were some of the most full on kids I've ever met and did some horrific things to us, our house, their siblings, our neighbours. You still don't have to yell.

    There is a huge difference between yelling to and yelling at, one I consider abusive, the other is a means of alerting someone.

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  3. #72
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    So you would or would not yell out if your child was about to be bitten?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    So you would or would not yell out if your child was about to be bitten?
    Did you miss this?

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    There is a huge difference between yelling to and yelling at, one I consider abusive, the other is a means of alerting someone.
    I certainly wouldn't yell at the child, but might yell to a child to alert them. Which are two very different things.

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    I am a yeller but am trying very hard to stop,

    Un situations that warrant yelling i' still yell but not in general

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

  7. #75
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I don't yell at my kids, we don't use loud voices inside at all.

    I give them a firm 'no' and a cross face which lets them know it's not on rather than scare them.
    I'm confused because here you say you don't yell.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Mine are only 1 and 2, but I've had a large range of high behavioural needs foster kids in my care over the years.

    Even if I wanted to yell at them I wasn't allowed to.

    My dad has yelled at me once and it's a vivid memory, he lost his patience with my brother and I bickering. He had better alternatives to yelling.
    Yet here

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I was dealing with kids with high behavioural needs, they were some of the most full on kids I've ever met and did some horrific things to us, our house, their siblings, our neighbours. You still don't have to yell.

    There is a huge difference between yelling to and yelling at, one I consider abusive, the other is a means of alerting someone.
    And here you say you have dealt with high behavioral needs children who were harming each other.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Did you miss this?



    I certainly wouldn't yell at the child, but might yell to a child to alert them. Which are two very different things.
    And here you say you did yell. At or to, it's still yelling.

    So you did yell when you could see one child was about to harm another to alert them of the upcoming harm or did you yell at the child who was about to do the harming?

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    I think you're being deliberately obtuse.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I'm confused because here you say you don't yell.



    Yet here



    And here you say you have dealt with high behavioral needs children who were harming each other.



    And here you say you did yell. At or to, it's still yelling.

    So you did yell when you could see one child was about to harm another to alert them of the upcoming harm or did you yell at the child who was about to do the harming?
    There is a big difference between at and to,

    I yell TO ds 'HOP DOWN' 'WATCH THE SWING' etc or to my nephew 'x NO TEETH, DON'T BITE' when he is away from me and i am moving to adress the problem.

    Yelling AT him in the above situations ' I TOLD YOU to hop down!' 'WHY didnt you watch the swing?' , i am directly yelling AT him when there is a) no need gor a raised voice and b)to its directed at him.

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  11. #78
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I think you're being deliberately obtuse.
    I didnt think your were answering clearly now I understand you would yell out if a child was in danger but not out of anger or frustration, is that correct?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I didnt think your were answering clearly now I understand you would yell out if a child was in danger but not out of anger or frustration, is that correct?
    Yes. Nemmi has put it well.

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    I was never yelled at as a child, not once. Nor was my brother.

    It's just not in me to yell. I don't fight with DP, I don't fight with family...

    In saying that I do very, VERY occasionally yell if DS is deliberately pushing my buttons like I did the other day. It is so rare that it really shocks him and oh boy does his bad behaviour stop right then and there. I'm only human and if I'm at the end of my tether something has to give. We both usually apologise to each other afterwards.


 

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