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  1. #41
    In My Stride's Avatar
    In My Stride is offline 3 babies, 2 businesses, 1 husband & a partridge in a pear tree
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    Yes, because I'm human it does your kids NO GOOD to wrap them in cotton wool, If they hurt me I react the same way you do, I yell and put them down & walk away. Kids need to learn that they can hurt & upset mummy too. My kids are almost 17 (DSD) , 11.5 & 2 & another on the way, I yell, they are all happy confident, good students, lots of friends - yelling doesn't break them, I have proof!


    Many years ago I walked into a friends and her 3yr old did something (I think it was make a silly noise) and she went BALLISTIC at her child. After it all calmed down I mentioned I thought she had over reacted, to her credit she patiently explained that the noise hadn't bothered her at 5:30am when she was awoken by it. By 9am it was getting on her nerves, but lunch she had started reacting & asked DD to please stop. By 3pm she was using time out & confiscating toys and now at dinner time she was done, she had heard that noise 2798 times that day. I got it. Maybe show hubby the story, he might get it too
    Last edited by In My Stride; 14-07-2012 at 19:54. Reason: Sp

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    Yes. I yell/scream at DD1 probably more then I actually speak to her.

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    Sorry i agree with your DH.
    I dont yell at DS because i dont want to be yelled at either.

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    I don't yell at my kids, we don't use loud voices inside at all.

    I give them a firm 'no' and a cross face which lets them know it's not on rather than scare them.

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    My mum used to lose the plot and scream and yell at us, which was quickly followed by flying dishes, cups, shoes, books and her chasing us to hit us, kick us etc...

    So screaming and yelling is actually a trigger for me and the few times DH has lost his patience and yelled I've crumpled into a terrified, inconsolable ball.

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    I can see the fear in my kids' eyes when I yell at them and I feel like a bully. I don't mean yelling from another room to do something, I mean when you're angry and screaming at them. I know they would learn a lot more about how their behavior affects me/others by explaining it rationally. I'm human- yes, and I have limits too, but I don't think that really makes it ok. They won't learn anything from a raving lunatic!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    My mum used to lose the plot and scream and yell at us, which was quickly followed by flying dishes, cups, shoes, books and her chasing us to hit us, kick us etc...

    So screaming and yelling is actually a trigger for me and the few times DH has lost his patience and yelled I've crumpled into a terrified, inconsolable ball.
    My brother and his wife were like that. I told them I would personally report them if the behaviour did not cease before the baby was born. I'm sorry you had to live with that. My daughter gets scared of loud voices and that was without me even being a screamer. She just hates it. Iscreamed once when she was a few moths old. Not loud, I got a fright, jumped a a scream came out. She cried for ages and I think that started it. I feel awful but yeah, can't really help when you get a fright. I can't imagine actually yelling at a baby.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    Yes. I yell/scream at DD1 probably more then I actually speak to her.
    Wow that's one of the most heartbreaking admissions I've read on BH!

    Im not perfect and lose my cool at times but this post out of the thread really stood out to me!

    Have you tried to seek help?!

  9. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to JaneDoe For This Useful Post:

    austmum  (14-07-2012),Californication  (15-07-2012),Guest1234  (15-07-2012),Happy2be3  (14-07-2012),insanity  (15-07-2012),Lincolns mummy  (15-07-2012),Stiflers Mom  (15-07-2012)

  10. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    Yes. I yell/scream at DD1 probably more then I actually speak to her.
    Have you tried looking at why that might be?

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    Before I get flamed for my comment.

    Yes. I am getting help. No I don't need your judgement. Yes there is much more to my story then you will ever know or understand so please please spare me the pity, judgment or whatever else you feel the need to throw at me.

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    Theophania  (15-07-2012)


 

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