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  1. #141
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    Wastingtime- your kids sound exactly like mine! Like, EXACTLY! I swear they are getting worse as they get older, (or maybe it's just that another child has been thrown into the mix?), and I too believe in natural consequences. But when it's one child (dd1) always making the other late it's not really fair, and like yours, mine think they're good if they get away with wearing their hair down etc because we run out of time! Grrrr!
    Oh, and my DS takes ages to eat breaky, I offer him a banana in the car if he's taking too long.

    Smileygirl- completely agree with your posts, it's so frustrating but obviously yelling isn't changing anything and i completely agree its not effective. The only purpose it serves is letting off steam, and then you just feel like crap for the rest of the day

  2. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wastingtime View Post
    Thankyou Thermolicious, CMF and Kaybaby.

    No, blackyeyedpea I don't think I'm over thinking it. Not once have I said I expect my children to get up and do it all on their own. If you read my posts properly you'll see it resorts to me asking them to do the same thing over and over and over again and being ignored.
    Feeding my son a substantial breakfast in the car will not save time. The fact that he sits in his highchair and takes forever to eat is beneficial to me. It means he isn't off destroying the house. My problem is not with him.
    TV in the morning is an absolute nightmare. Even once it is off they can't get going. I'm also not about to dress them and do everything for them while they sit in front of the tv like zombies. A mum at school does this and quite frankly I think it teaches them absolutely nothing and it not how it is going to be in my household.


    Anyway, I was coming in to say that today I just reminded them of every single tiny little thing they had to do while I was eating breakfast/cleaning the kitchen etc. etc. My 4 year old didn't get out of bed until 7.30am but she still managed to be completely ready by 8am. My 6 year old was already completely ready for the day at 8am. There was no yelling and once we got in the car I thanked them all for listening and for such a great morning!!

    I am going to make the chart...they can get used to looking at it. Next year husband will be in charge of getting them ready for the day on his own and he will struggle. So if they can get used to checking a chart and making sure they've done anything then this will hopefully help their morning go smoother.
    Yay! Congrats! How nice is it to have a lovely morning like that! It feels SOOO good . I hope it continues for you(though if its anything like my house it won't! But we still have lots of "good" days)

    With regards to TV, mine kids always got up pretty early (and before me) and put the TV on, turning it off when it was time to get ready. I have recently implemented a no TV until dressed with shoes on. I put their uniforms on the lounge for them to put on when they got up. That way at least they are mostly dressed, and can watch TV while they eat brekky. However your two might be a bit young, if they are still getting uniforms dirty at breakfast time.

    Anyway, good luck and I'm sure you will find ways to make your morning run a bit smoother *most* of the time

  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I know this wasn't aimed at me, but.... no, how is she overthinking all this?? I'm not sure how many/how old your kids are, but have you ever tried getting 3 kids fed dressed and out the door by a set time, FIVE days a week for years on end?
    You certainly do need to 'think' about how to make things go as smoothly as possible, you can't just let things go and hope for the best! What would you say to the teacher when, at the end of the year, your child has 200 odd partial absenses on their report card... "oh sorry, she just doesn't get dressed in time and I can't really control every little thing she does in the mornings"... I don't think that would go down too well?

    And as for the second part of your comment that children will 'never' going to do what you want them to [regarding mornings], well yes, they are, because they have to learn to, because they have to be out the door at a set time.

    Sorry if I sound defensive on this but it's very VERY easy for a mum of one toddler that sometimes ducks out to the shops or park to say "oh relax, let them get ready in their own time, BREEEATHE"
    I was only trying to offer some advice - your comments in reply are actually very hurtful because although I 'only' have one toddler and am a single parent, you really have no idea whether my life is 'easy' compared and if you did know more about my life you would eat your words.


    I was just haring what works for me as I've had to relax about things that used to stress me out with DS and not sweat it, that's all.

    I really was only trying to help. Wow
    Last edited by Ellewood; 16-07-2012 at 17:03.

  4. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackEyedPea View Post
    I was only trying to offer some advice - your comments in reply are actually very hurtful because although I 'only' have one toddler and am a single parent, you really have no idea whether my life is 'easy' compared and if you did know more about my life you would eat your words.


    I was just haring what works for me as I've had to relax about things that used to stress me out with DS and not sweat it, that's all.

    I really was only trying to help. Wow
    I think the issue with your post is that, whether you meant to or not, you made me sound like the reason mornings are stressful in my house is because I'm a control freak and that's going to make anyone defensive. I was a bit taken back by the way your post was worded and then thought that maybe it was just me but then I kept reading and realised that it wasn't just me who felt a bit offended by your post. I understand you were trying to help, but I can't just relax and breaaaattthhheee and let it go. I need to teach my children that they need to be ready and out of the house at a certain time 5 days a week. That's just life you know. My oldest's school really drums home how important it is to get them to school on time. Kids coming late disrupt the class and it is also an important life lesson. You can't just turn up to work 15 minutes late because you didn't want to get ready.

    Annabella I'm sorry you're going through it but I am so glad I am not alone!! I find myself questioning my parenting skills when their behaviour is getting worse when it should be getting better!!

    Kaybaby - I hope it continues too! It felt great and set the tone for the rest of the day! My tv is password protected because they were getting up and turning it on, then refusing to turn it off, or turning it off but then turning it back on as soon as I left the room. Now it's only on when I'm trying to organise dinner on my own after they've cleaned up their toys. It saves three tired kids fighting and makes the evenings run a bit smoother!

  5. #145
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    This is me too, arrggh. School mornings are like this in my house. I end up frazzled and we are having a great morning if I manage to brush my hair.

    I only have one at school but have 4 kids 5 years and under so we all have to get up and out. I only just got to a point where it wasn't so bad last term and then the holidays came! I am not looking forward to tomorrow!

  6. #146
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    I've only read some of the posts but this is what always sticks in my head :

    Loads and loads of mothers have been before me and succedeed. If they did/can then so can I :-)

    ***Sent from my phone***

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Happy2be3 For This Useful Post:

    austmum  (16-07-2012)

  8. #147
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    Hi everyone- thought I'd add my 2cents worth! I think the chart is fantastic! I recommend it to everyone with hectic mornings! works for my 8yr old, i have DD 8 and DS 16mths, couldnt help smiling reading these posts about getting ready in the morning! I thought these things happen only at my place but even though the chart is great we still sometimes get off track and I find myself howling "HURRY UP!!" I don't think it's over thinking to expect your kids to stick to a morning routine- I know if I didn't we'd never get out before midday.

    And as for yelling I'm guilty of that occasionally- I try my best not to but sometimes it's a quick fix- by far not the best solution I know- and since having my second I see how totally different it was parenting only 1 child, as we have quite a large gap.I can relate to everyone who says some days they just push your buttons and you yell, sometimes I count to 10, walk away, but other times I might yell. I don't think that makes me a bad parent nor is it damaging my child.

    I believe that children need structure and discipline, just as they do love, so that's how we run our household. I think we (mums) all do the best we can with what we've got! It's great to get ideas from other mums and try new things- sometimes they may even work

  9. #148
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    Hi, wow. what a thread!
    ummm i just wanted to post an update: ive really cut down on my yelling. I think having DH home during school holidays (teacher) messed me up. I was used to doing everything by myself and i got annoyed having him wandering around not knowing what to do with himself. Routine was all over the place and it obviously effected dd a bit. Ive calmed down, dh back at work and our days are back to normal.
    The odd occasions i have raised my voice at dd as of late, she has begun to look at me and say "mumma?" then comes over and hugs me. Im not sure what thats about but it makes me feel awful raising my voice at her.
    Eye contact, kneeling down and a stern voice seems to be working well.
    Thanks everyone.

  10. #149
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    Sounds like yelling has caused confusion and worry for your baby. I'm glad things are going ok.


 

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