WastingTime- our mornings sound ohhhh so similar, so I'm not about to pretend I know how to have perfect mornings, but, I find with my 4.5yo, he often needs me to break down things into little steps, and tell him only a couple at a time. I read about this once too, that at that age you can't just say "get ready to go", as it's too overwhelming to know what to do (even though they've done it every freaking day for ever LOL), and also if you do break it down for them all at once they forget all the steps.
ie. first of all, I'd seperate them so they are less likely to muck around. One with their clothes on one side of the room, or another room. The other somewhere else. Ok so for my 4yo, if we're having one of *those days* and I mange to keep my calm long enough to think straight, I would say "ok brush teeth and wash face". After that's done, "now clothes off except for undies, here are your new clothes, put them on please". After that "put your pj's on your bed please and fix your quilt". Then "put shoes and jacket on". And finally "get your bag and to the door".
It works alot better IMO, and even though it sounds like you're constantly nagging them, it works out to be alot less nagging than the other way! And you don't have to stand there and watch, just keep an eye out when you're walking around getting yourself and bags etc etc ready.
Hope that helps.
My 4 year old is the worst...the 6 year old can be fantastic and if she decided she is going to get ready quickly she'll be ready in 40 minutes and when I go through her list of what to do she's done it all.
My 4 year old...slow as, total distractions...nightmare. My husband always says 'she's just like me, go easy on her.' So I told him to deal with her if he bred it in to her cause it drives me nuts (we said this quietly to each other, in another room, she wouldn't have heard). Then the one morning where I had to leave early and he was in charge of getting them ready for the day on his own I think it took him three asks before he was yelling at her to stop mucking around and then he was sitting on the lounge dressing her himself and he was cranky and flustered. He hasn't told me to leave her be since that day
I wonder if something visual would help them? If I got pictures of the things they needed to do to get ready in order and drew it up on some cardboard and stuck the pictures on so they could turn it in to a little game. At the end of the 'jobs' I could have a picture of a toy to let them know it is now time to go and play.....thoughts anyone?
For those struggling with mornings, this is what we do.No tv.Have photos of making bed, brushing teeth, etc in the order they do it in.Little laminated gold stars with blu tac so they stick one over each one as it is completed.Every few minutes ask "what are you up to?"This works well for us no matter how many kids are in the house.
I yell over her high pitched screeching . Dh yells and it even scares me sometimes. 23mo dd runs to me in tears when he does, i hate it
Wasting time, if my 4 year old doesn't get dressed in time I collect his clothes and tell him I will take him as he is i.e. if he is half undressed I will take him to school in just his pajama shirt, I've never gotten past this stage it always works because he is mortified by the idea of going to school half naked. Probably not the most desirable method but I like to think of it as natural consequences. Of course I help him if it's needed or if he is having a frustrating morning but if he is just being silly....
I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old.
yes they have been yelled out when i am at the end of my rope. this probably happens once every couple of months.
IMO (from working in a kindergarten and with my own kids) yelling is ineffective and mean. i feel like a big awful bully when i yell, and go to bed that night feeling guilty.
I would have them getting dressed in the same room i am in...no TV/music distraction etc. I would also think about doing it as a game or a race... perhaps "ok...1st one with their shirt on gets to pick the next clothing item to put on"
Yes at 4 and 6, they are starting to learn about doing things themselves...but little kids can get distracted very easily...not that they are naughty...just being kids.
I do my very best to enable the right circumstances for success. I rarely raise my voice as i don't like being yelled at so I don't yell! The few times i have yelled, i usually apologise shortly after.
From about 3, i would talk things through...his 3 year old kinder teacher commented that when she wanted him to do something he said "no thanks, let's negotiate so we are both happy" lol...my constant line to him.
I used closed options for him... "do you want to put your shoes on or do your teeth first" or "would you like toast or bubbles for brekky"
if no response, i would say "choose now, or i will need to choose for you"
A lot of the time, parents yell because they have done the wrong thing, not the child. They yell because the child made a big mess...but they should have been watching the child. They yell because the child shows them that they have made a mistake.
I also think many people have unreasonable expectations of their small kids which is why they seem so constantly disappointed with them.
It is my job to ensure my kids are safe and happy and that they have suitable supervision. I am there to teach them life skills over time...not expect them to just do it when I decide i don't have time to help them anymore.
If your kids struggle to get ready to your expectation...change your expectation and help them. Less stress for everyone and more life enjoyment.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!