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  1. #11
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    THANK YOU for the Private step parent group link. I will most definitely be joining you there.

    Thank you to all of you who can understand my predicament and who support me.

    Hubby knows as well as me, that the love you have for step children is not the same love you have for your own children (we are both step parents). He understands this but finds it so difficult to accept.
    My own DD has not even met her father. I have raised her for 15years on my own.

    I dont know how to "copy someones post and paste it, to reply to it" but to "Withloveandlimits" - you must not be a step parent. If you had any idea how hard it is to raise some one elses children, (even without having a complicated pregnancy) you would have more compassion. Also in saying this, I appreciate we are all different and have different opinions.

    To EVERYONE else - Im glad im not alone in this and you can see where i am coming from. Yes i care for his children, and want whats best for them always. I just really feel that Im entitled to a well deserved break since she (the BM) has already agreed to have HER children through the day, (FOR ONCE), I want to take the opportunity to have that break as I have no clue if this will ever happen again for us. (If we were going off past history, I'd be waiting another 5 years years for such an opportunity again)!!!

    Thank you also for the well wishesin this pregnancy. You ladies are such a great support, I dont know what i would do without BH!!!

    Wil join that group now

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    Atropos  (14-07-2012)

  3. #12
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    I agree it's not about his kids and your kids it's about there being a possibility of your day being easier when you need it.

  4. #13
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    Can I please get into that group?? BM has effed up my weekend plans FIVE TIMES in the past hour. *deep breath deep breath*

    OP your DP is being selfish (not unlike mine but for different reasons)!

  5. #14
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    Ive clicked on the link but it says i can not view the group (obviosuly as it is private). So i have sent a message to someone (??) to ask if i can join.

    Thanks

  6. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Dragon View Post
    You have every right to be annoyed, your hubby should be bowing and kissing your feet for the job you do with his kids.
    You are raising his kids for him and that is a HUGE job !!
    He should be bending over backwards to give you a break from them.

    Those kids have a mum and dad and all the responsibilty is being placed upon your head and when things don't go his way he gives you a guilt trip about it.
    You have no reason to feel guilty about not wanting them there.
    They are his kids so his responsibility.

    Its completely unfair on him to expect you to do it all, I am mad at him just reading your post.

    If you weren't there then he would have to find other arrangements on the holidays such as school holiday care or a babysitter.
    You are his partner not his maid and babysitting service.

    If they get left with you can you just drive them to their Bio mums for the day once your DP is at work ?
    Absolutely this ^^

    Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and birth!

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    angenrod  (23-07-2012)

  8. #16
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    So you've just been in hospital and now expected to take care of 4 kids??!! Yikes.
    Sounds like you deserve and need a VERY well earned break.
    Reality is they're not your kids and never will be. People that tell you otherwise aren't step parents!
    Your DH needs to appreciate that you in fact raise them most of the time and break is more than reasonable. I won't even have my step child if DH isn't here.
    Quality time with your DD is very important as well. It could be the last chance you both have before the new baby arrives.
    Hopefully BM has them and you have a peaceful week!
    I seriously take my hat off to you, I could never ever do what you do.
    Join the forum by the way!!

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    angenrod  (14-07-2012),Atropos  (14-07-2012),Stiflers Mom  (14-07-2012)

  10. #17
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    I agree with both VicPark and Blue Dragon.

    I can see why he was defensive, but at the same time I don't see why he suggested it at all.

    It's lovely he wants his kids to be with their full time family, but useless or not, their time with BM is important and your time alone is very important too, you're about to be overwhelmed with a newborn - I too would be taking all opportunities to get that quiet time and rest (even if they were my own kids).

    I hope he can start seeing things from your POV.

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    angenrod  (14-07-2012),Jakois  (15-07-2012)

  12. #18
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    Angenrod, I sent you a PM.

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    angenrod  (14-07-2012)

  14. #19
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    Can I join that group too please?

    I am a mumma of 7, 3 of the 7 are my stepkids, and 2 of those 3 live full time with us. I completely understand what your saying.

    I love all 7 of my kids to the moon and back and will go to the end of the world for them if I need to, but sometimes you just need a little break.

    big hugs

  15. #20
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    I'm not a step mother but I get it. I think you should say you love his kids, but even if they were yours youd still want a break.


 

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