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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summerwinter View Post

    It's nice to be able to hear from others who understand. I have great support around me but when I try and talk about it everyone's response is always, well the main thing is is that he's here and your here, and I get that I do but it still doesn't bring back that experience and the first few hours that I missed out on.
    Your feelings are absolutely valid. All any mother wants is a healthy baby, but that doesn't mean you can't grieve for the birth experience you missed out on.

    My relationship with DD has suffered somewhat due to the nature of her birth and it's something I have to work very hard on.

    My relationship with my sons, whose births all went to plan (vaginal, drug free, the last two born at home) is so much different, it's like there is something extra there that DD missed out on due to that lack of initial bonding due to me being unconscious. I went to sleep pregnant and woke up 2 hours later with a baby.



    *I can haz typos*

  2. #12
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    I understand, I had an emergency c section. Now, whenever i watch a birth on the TV I cry, because I know that I will never be able to have that opportunity. I do too get envious when i hear of women having quick natural births, as I will never experience this. But then we have to look on the brighter note, either way, we have our beautiful babies now. And for that I am so grateful, because without the emergency C section this would not be possible.

  3. #13
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    I just had my second emergency caesarean after a failed VBAC. I am still so raw with my feelings of jealousy and envy of women (particularly my friends) who have had natural births, especially as I laboured for almost 2 days without pain meds and got to 10cms. We're not having any more children so that was my only opportunity for a natural birth.

    I think birth envy is normal and ok and I refuse to feel guilty for having these emotions. It doesn't mean I wish my friends didn't have natural births, just that I wish I did.

  4. #14
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    So glad I found this thread, this is just how I feel.

    My DS is now 8&1/2 months and I still get a feeling of failure when I hear of others having "natural" births....

    I hope that by the time I'm having another baby I have found a way to get past this feeling as I will have to have another CS.

    I think I just feel robbed of finishing what I started. I was so proud of how well I coped through my labour and 1 hr of pushing without any help or interference. Then I discovered that the opening to my pelvis was too small. That my DS was never going to enter the birth canal despite already having a severely moulded head from me pushing. So hard to hear!

    I just keep reminding myself that what's important is that I have a healthy beautiful baby boy and how he was delivered is not....one day I might even believe it.

  5. #15
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    Sorry posted this in two threads...thought the other one didn't work....

  6. #16
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    Yes I feel like this. I had a rough 17hr labor resulting in emergency CS with in adequate anesthetic. ended up with PTSD.

    I feel like I was ripped off. Especially when some have these perfect labors with no drugs etc. But still happy I had a healthy baby

    Anyways, I don't care what people think, I can't help the way I feel. Until someone is in your shoes they can't comment.

    Hugs xx

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to MummaJez For This Useful Post:

    giggle berry  (27-07-2012)

  8. #17
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    Totally know how you feel. We knew we were having complications at 31 weeks but managed to stay pregnant until 35 weeks. I went to another growth scan (I was having thrice weekly scans.) and the sonographer sent me straight to the hospital to have an emergency c-section which they knocked me out for. DS was born, had one photo with him then he was whisked off to the NICU and was there for 2.5weeks. DS also struggled BF. I really wanted a vaginal birth and wanted bf too but it wasn't meant to be. The birth felt to me like I had had my tonsils out not that I had a baby. Plus, I couldn't take him home for a few weeks so I didn't feel like a 'mother.' It took me over 6 weeks to bond with DS. I still get emotional now and find it hard to get people to understand when they haven't gone through it. Yes, DS was eventually healthy and it doesn't matter how he was born or if he was ff but I still needed to grieve for the hopes and dreams I had and the opportunities that are lost in those one time only moments.

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    giggle berry  (27-07-2012)


 

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