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  1. #11
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    Hey Mishh
    I understand exactly how hard this is both as a mum and a childcare educator. I have worked in the childcare field for 21 yrs and there has only ever been one child who we couldnt settle and ended up leaving. Ever other child of various ages have eventually settled in their own time. It does take time, some it takes a few weeks and some a few more weeks. Kids will not eat or sleep very well until they settle this is normal. Do you have time to spend with your son when you drop him off? we usually encourage this at our centre. Take some of his familiar things he likes eg teddy, blanket, dummy etc. We even send home a photo of the main carers in the room to stick on the fridge so you can talk about them to your child when not at daycare, to help them become familiar. Maybe you could ask for a photo.
    Give him a little time and yourself to adjust. Try and stay positive and keep persisting good luck

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    mishh  (11-07-2012)

  3. #12
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    It really does depend on the child. Some children will settle quickly and easily and others take some time. It helps alot if they click with a certain carer so if your DS has a favourite, aim for that person if they are in the room or playground at the time. I have never had to leave a child in daycare but I know you are not alone in the heartbreak when your children have trouble settling. I always feel for the parents that walk out fighting the tears and make a point of letting them know that they can call at any time to check on thier child and if we are unable to settle them at all we will call the parent and let them know (we have only had to do this once in the past 3 years). Do they have a similar policy at your DS's center? I imagine most places do.

    I would give it another few weeks. It is a massive transition which can cause chidlren to backpedal in their emotional development. If there is no improvement after a month then re-assess the situation. I look after one child who has fantastic days but still cries everytime she is dropped off. She stops as soon as her mum leaves the center but still cries at drop-off. And she has been coming for 4 years. Mum has spied on her after drop-off and before pick up and seen that she is playing happily everytime so she is not concerned.

  4. #13
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    Does he settle not long after you leave or does he cry most of the day? Does he HAVE to go (are you working)?
    My DS went from 11 months - just over 2.5 years (I was working, now a SAHM) and he used to cry when I dropped him off but was fine as soon as I left. Now that I am a SAHM I used to take him 2 days a week, but for some reason he does not want go anymore and he went from saying BYE to me and going off and playing, to crying and saying he doesnt want to say. The other day he cried and they couldnt settle him for a good 10-15min after he was dropped off.
    I pulled him out because I felt so guilty and he 'didnt have to stay'. I did some research and some children can have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol by the afternoon (you can read about it in google) . IF you are not working, try to pick him up earlier in the afternoon?

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by hansmum View Post
    Hey Mishh
    I understand exactly how hard this is both as a mum and a childcare educator. I have worked in the childcare field for 21 yrs and there has only ever been one child who we couldnt settle and ended up leaving. Ever other child of various ages have eventually settled in their own time. It does take time, some it takes a few weeks and some a few more weeks. Kids will not eat or sleep very well until they settle this is normal. Do you have time to spend with your son when you drop him off? we usually encourage this at our centre. Take some of his familiar things he likes eg teddy, blanket, dummy etc. We even send home a photo of the main carers in the room to stick on the fridge so you can talk about them to your child when not at daycare, to help them become familiar. Maybe you could ask for a photo.
    Give him a little time and yourself to adjust. Try and stay positive and keep persisting good luck
    Yes I spend about 15 mins with him, watching him play. He is okay until it's time for me to leave.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tildy View Post
    It really does depend on the child. Some children will settle quickly and easily and others take some time. It helps alot if they click with a certain carer so if your DS has a favourite, aim for that person if they are in the room or playground at the time. I have never had to leave a child in daycare but I know you are not alone in the heartbreak when your children have trouble settling. I always feel for the parents that walk out fighting the tears and make a point of letting them know that they can call at any time to check on thier child and if we are unable to settle them at all we will call the parent and let them know (we have only had to do this once in the past 3 years). Do they have a similar policy at your DS's center? I imagine most places do.

    I would give it another few weeks. It is a massive transition which can cause chidlren to backpedal in their emotional development. If there is no improvement after a month then re-assess the situation. I look after one child who has fantastic days but still cries everytime she is dropped off. She stops as soon as her mum leaves the center but still cries at drop-off. And she has been coming for 4 years. Mum has spied on her after drop-off and before pick up and seen that she is playing happily everytime so she is not concerned.
    Yep he already has a favourite carer so I pass him to her. Hopefully he will get better. I always ring when I can to check up and I told them if he is REALLY upset for more than like... 30-60mins then call me but they haven't had to yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by singa06 View Post
    Does he settle not long after you leave or does he cry most of the day? Does he HAVE to go (are you working)?
    My DS went from 11 months - just over 2.5 years (I was working, now a SAHM) and he used to cry when I dropped him off but was fine as soon as I left. Now that I am a SAHM I used to take him 2 days a week, but for some reason he does not want go anymore and he went from saying BYE to me and going off and playing, to crying and saying he doesnt want to say. The other day he cried and they couldnt settle him for a good 10-15min after he was dropped off.
    I pulled him out because I felt so guilty and he 'didnt have to stay'. I did some research and some children can have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol by the afternoon (you can read about it in google) . IF you are not working, try to pick him up earlier in the afternoon?
    I mentioned in my OP that I am a uni student, so yeah he really does need to go. He doesn't cry most of the day, he just sort of on and off sooks a little while he plays. He is never hysterical, just looks sad but will continue to play etc. He doesn't go for that long on Mondays but Wednesdays is a full day (unless my DP is on nights and picks him up before me).

    Thanks everyone for the tips, will try everything and see how we go!

  6. #15
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    My son started daycare at 18mo and was EXACTLY like this. He cried everywhere we went thinking I was going to leave him. It made me feel so guilty! It took about 4 weeks for him to stop thinking I was going to leave him all the time and stop being so whiny and clingy. He still ctied at daycare drop offs for another month approx after that too.

    Have hope ... It will get better!

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    mishh  (12-07-2012)

  8. #16
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    Same same but it turns out he had an ear infection and once that was cleared up he was fine again and happy a day care. He's 13 months.


 

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