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  1. #1
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    Default Extreme Seperation Anxiety since starting Day Care

    My DS is 15 months old tomorrow and his seperation anxiety is out of control.

    He normally would be happy to play alone, will easily be left with family members for an hour or two, went to bed awake and slept 7-7.

    He started daycare last week (Mon and Wed) and he also went today. He was supposed to go last friday and this monday too but he got gastro last thursday (which could also be the cause of my problems).

    Since starting he will NOT leave me alone. He wants to be attached to me all the time, will sit on me for hours on end which is not like him at all, he doesn't even want to go to his dad, he just wants me. Since saturday he has cried at bed time, increasingly more time until he went to sleep... tonight he was crying/screaming for an hour and I eventually had to sit with him for 10 minutes just holding him until he went to sleep. He is not sleeping through either anymore, he wakes up over night and now around 5-6 and won't go back to sleep unless I bring him to my bed.

    I'm at my wits end! I am a uni student and he needs to go to care twice a week (1 half day, 1 full day). I don't know what to do.. when I drop him off at care he gets SO worked up and he sooks on and off the entire day and also won't eat anything there.

    Will he adapt? I am ruining him? I don't know what to do... he isn't himself this past week or so, I'm not sure if it's from being sick or him just getting used to the new arrangements or if he just HATES day care and I should pull him out? Help

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    I could have wrote this 5 weeks ago. We moved and DS started daycare 1 day a week. He is 16 months old. He stopped eating, would wake screaming in the night, wanted to be held all the time etc. He is now a lot better eating and his happy old self again. He has now formed a bond with a carer at daycare and enjoys it. I was thinking about taking him out but with another bub due in September I wanted him to keep going. I was even crying after dropping him off on the way to work. I'm glad we kept him going.Trust your gut instinct though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by starla View Post
    I could have wrote this 5 weeks ago. We moved and DS started daycare 1 day a week. He is 16 months old. He stopped eating, would wake screaming in the night, wanted to be held all the time etc. He is now a lot better eating and his happy old self again. He has now formed a bond with a carer at daycare and enjoys it. I was thinking about taking him out but with another bub due in September I wanted him to keep going. I was even crying after dropping him off on the way to work. I'm glad we kept him going.Trust your gut instinct though.
    How long did it take until you saw your son sort of come back to himself?

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    Quote Originally Posted by starla View Post
    I could have wrote this 5 weeks ago. We moved and DS started daycare 1 day a week. He is 16 months old. He stopped eating, would wake screaming in the night, wanted to be held all the time etc. He is now a lot better eating and his happy old self again. He has now formed a bond with a carer at daycare and enjoys it. I was thinking about taking him out but with another bub due in September I wanted him to keep going. I was even crying after dropping him off on the way to work. I'm glad we kept him going.Trust your gut instinct though.
    My experiences have been like this ^^
    I find they go through phases where they don't like going but generally only lasts a couple of weeks. Keep at it and see how he goes after a few weeks. I know how horrible it feels but it will prob get better soon. X

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    It was a good couple of weeks before we started noticing an improvement. It was hard DH and I had many conversations about stopping daycare. He even refused all food at daycare. He now eats there even tried tofu last week.

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    mishh  (11-07-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by jordansmumma View Post
    My experiences have been like this ^^
    I find they go through phases where they don't like going but generally only lasts a couple of weeks. Keep at it and see how he goes after a few weeks. I know how horrible it feels but it will prob get better soon. X
    Thanks, as horrible as it is I am glad someone else has gone through this!! I will persevere for another 4 weeks and hopefully he improves I don't think this sickness etc would be helping the situation either!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mishh View Post
    Thanks, as horrible as it is I am glad someone else has gone through this!! I will persevere for another 4 weeks and hopefully he improves I don't think this sickness etc would be helping the situation either!
    Unfortunately that's another downside of starting daycare they will pick up anything that's going round but once their immune system builds they will be fine...

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    We went through this too when DD started at 14 months (2 days a week).

    DD would cry at drop off and pick up, and was very clingy at home which was not like her. At week 6 I got a call from one of her carers to tell me that DD was having a really great day, and was laughing, having fun etc. since then she's been happy there.

    She continued to get upset at drop off, but as soon as I left the room she would stop crying (I spied through the window).

    I have also noticed other kids in her room take several weeks to adjust. There was this one little girl who cried all day every day for weeks and now she's happy as Larry!

    Also I think it's important to say good bye to your child when you leave them for the day. And work out which carers are their favorites!

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    mishh  (11-07-2012)

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    DD 1 took 7-8 wks to adjust.

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    DS started daycare at 14 months and it took him about 4 weeks before he settled into the routine. I too, am glad I kept going.
    My advice would be: Keep persisting (like with with everything else that can be hard such as self settling to sleep).
    If he still acts this badly in a months' time, you can always cut back to 1 day a week and slowly build it up?


 

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