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  1. #1
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    Default The stigma attached to c-sections

    My SIL is pregnant at the moment and is due next month. This morning she told me that she barely asks for advice from me because she can't relate to my delivery. This really hurt my feeling especially because ds was emergency c-section. Sorry to rant but I really didn't have anyone to vent to

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    Don't take it personally hun, I am planning to have a natural VB if I can, and I wouldn't be able to ask much advice from someone who had a CS, not because of the stigma but because they are two different experiences. Just as a person planning on a CS wouldn't probably be able to get alot of relevant advice from someone who has had a VB.

    Although as you said it was an emergency CS so surely if you were already in labour she could ask about that part?

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    She's a knob. 30% of labours end in CS. You think she would find out about your experience so if it happens to her she knows what to expect.

    I had an elective CS and will tell anyone who stands still long enough how great it was.

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    It's very naive for her to think that 1 hour of your life makes all your other experience to do with pregnancy, labour, birth and babies irrelevant. It's also naive of her to assume she won't end up having an emergency c-section, she should be picking your brain about how that all works too.

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  7. #5
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    Savingfishfromdrowning is offline If you can't change your fate, change your attitude
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    that must have hurt to hear

    I think your SIL is missing out by not talking to you - she doesn't even know how she's going to deliver yet! She might change her mind after she's had the baby and needs advice on how to care for it.

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    OMG.. You had an emergency c section, and she somehow thinks you won't be helpful??

    Does she understand what you went through? Does she know that her journey could very well end up the same/similar?

    I can understand why you are hurt. It was not your choice. It sounds like you planned a vaginal delivery, but then had to alter to a c section.

    How in the world could you NOT be helpful?

    1. You have already been there done that with the planning.
    2. I am guessing you laboured? I am guessing you would have gotten so far, then something went wrong... Why would your SIL not want to know your story? Why wouldn't she want as much information as possible, to perhaps help her be fully prepared for her birth?

    If you feel up to it, I would be reminding your SIL that you had planned XX birth, however things happen that are unexpected. She is not bullet proof!

    (sorry for the harsh rant...)

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    That's the thing she wants under no circumstances to have a c-section. I honestly think she thinks I'm weak for needing the c-section after 5hrs of labouring. She makes me feel like I'm less of a mother for delivering ds that way, she always goes on about her friends how deliver naturally with no pain or medical intervention. It's not really about the delivery either it's about generally pregnancy questions. I actually dread our weekend family get together because of her! Grrr!!

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    Sounds like my SIL!

    She had a two hour labour from first contraction to birth.
    She had the gas for pain relief.

    I labored (induced) for 16hours then ended in an emergency c-section.
    This was two years after her natural birth.

    She had the nerve to say that a week later I shouldn't be sore because she wasn't..............
    Ummmmmmm stupid much????

    People are sooooo bloody naive when it comes to birth!

    I quizzed my sister who had an emergency c-section because I wanted to know all the possibilities I could be facing!

    No offense, but what a bish!

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    She will soon learn.

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  13. #10
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    I've just warned her to keep an open mind about the delivery . ( is it mean that I hope her birth plan doesn't go to plan..... Just joking!


 

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