Our cultures sexual pressures leave girls leave dangerously exposed

**Izzys Dragon** · 10-07-2012 22:21

It is sad that this generation is growing up without learning that you should respect yourself & your partner. Or that being intimate with someone is so much more than sending them an explicit photo or performing an act.
I worry about DD, & what will be the norm when she is growing up. I don't want her to have that kind of pressure that young girls today are under. And if I have any boys I don't want them under pressure either (I am assuming that they probably have a similar pressure to rack up 'conquests' etc).

**BabushkaMumma** · 10-07-2012 22:25

I agree with your sentiments there Booby.

I cannot control the media but I can control its hold in my home. I certainly will not allow dolls, clothes, TV shows that advocate adult sexual behaviour for girls and teenagers in my home.

I follow a few pages on FB (Princess Free Zone, The Spark Project, A Mighty Girl to name a few - they are excellent and link other great pages) which have excellent resources on matters of gender and I am really going to focus on getting some great information to start slowly building a resistance in my household (as best as I can).

**Annabella** · 10-07-2012 22:39

I'm scared for both my sons and daughters.

**Californication** · 10-07-2012 22:45

I have a daughter, and this kind of thing scares the sh!t out of me.

I also have a son. And if he ever did something like that to a girl, being grounded would be the least of his worries.

I hope to raise my children to have more respect for themselves to not do something like this. For my DD to expect/demand to be treated well by men and for my DS to treat girls with respect.

**pegasus** · 10-07-2012 23:54

Originally Posted by Boobycino

Yep I have a boy and a girl and I'd be so horrified and sad for my son if he learns about sex and sexuality and respect for women through porn. I think it would probably crush me more if it was my son who shared the photo more so than if it was my daughter who took it. On both counts I think I would feel so so deeply sad for them. And I think I'd feel like I'd failed.

But I don't know how to protect them. I've already got jasper at 3.5 coming home from daycare talking about killing bad people. I can't control what he (and eventually she) is exposed to.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

On that note - (not sure if it was done previously), but I totally agree with Mia Freedman's column from the sunday paper regarding p0rn and how it is a lot of kids exposure to what's "normal" so totally sad as to how so many people close their eyes

**Misschief** · 11-07-2012 21:22

As a PP said, I can not control the media, but I can control what it will share with DS inside MY house. Unfortunately, I am very worried about what he gets to see at friend's houses.
All I can hope for is, that as a parent, I will have some kind of a 6th sense that will help me pick out the dodgy friends from the good friends DS hangs out with.

My son wont be getting a mobile phone until he can pay for it himself. If I have to buy one for him, it will be a very cheap and very basic one. (I still have an old Samsung that works well that can't not send MMS or videos. I might keep it handy for when he gets older).
My son will also only be able to use the internet on MY laptop only, unless again, he buys a computer himself. However, he will only be allowed to use the net in the livingroom when I am there. The wireless modem is in my bedroom and I will not give him the password to the connection. He will have to ask me to type it in for him.

**SassyMummy** · 11-07-2012 21:33

It doesn't matter if you have a son or a daughter... Girls are learning that they're no good if they don't make themselves into pornstars and boys are learning to believe that too.

I think the message has been like this for some time... But has worsened thanks to the Internet and its ease of access... and phones able to send pics etc.

I hope my daughter doesn't learn this and I do what I can to try to steer her away from that kind of belief but it's foolish to think I'm the only one who has influence over this... And tbh, I'm feeling rather helpless about it all.

How can I expect her not to get these messages when I get them myself... And hell, even listen to them and comply to some of those societal demands?! I like false lashes, my tits out and male attention... But why? I bet it's not exactly inherent but rather something I've learnt.

**veve** · 11-07-2012 21:44

oh gosh that all just scares me .. mainly the internet .. and how the younger generation have NO IDEA how to handle this massive thing they think its a great way to communicate and that they know what they are doing ... but the fact is .. once you POST something .. whether it be a comment, or a photo or a video file - the thing can go viral in SECONDS ... and worse still, you aren't necessarily the person holding the control/ camera .. often its a peer who things wow .. thats awesome .. BOOM its on fb .. BOOM its on youtube and there is no way to get it back

I read some of the things that younger people write on fb - and think, wow - there is NO WAY I would employ you (or indeed want you around my family thanks) - the fould disgusting graphic language that is thrown around.. the binge drinking (and photos/ videos that are posted afterwards) its truly scary that they think its ok to SHARE this stuff ... when you have no idea who is watching/ copying/ sharing it

Everything is so easily SHARED these days

and worse still the internet is completely accessable from computers, laptops, phones, ipads, even my kids have internet access on their ds.... its everywhere .. so as a parent it is DEFINITELY becoming harder to monitor, because often these items (phones, ipads, ds etc) are used discretely by the kids.

I truly feel for the family of the young girl in the Op

it is getting harder and harder to parent .. you try so hard, but being stronger than peer pressure and the internet .. omg .. thats hard!!

**nancy77** · 02-08-2012 20:04

Excellent point. While it's all so sad it's even more sad that someone would do that to a girl. Especially his supposedly girlfriend.

It's so hard to control kids and it's so easy to share information these days.

**Caviar** · 03-08-2012 11:45

While I appreciate that girls are at risk, I'm afraid that with the way the world is today I don't see any difference between the genders as boys are just as at risk from the very same things that the OP raises.

There is no divide here. The first step towards enlightenment I feel is to stop pretending that there is.