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  1. #1
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    Default Help on custody question

    Hi people, i'm actually an active bubhubber, under cover..

    I was wondering if any of you in your wealth of knowledge could help me out with some questions?

    I have a very close friend who has broken up with his partner, and he's not sure where he stands in regards to custody of the child. They broke up about 7 weeks ago, little boy is 12 months old. Nothing messy, just a personality clash. He's finding it hard for her to let him see his son, she will let him go overnight (she has no quams in him as a father) but it sort of has to be on her terms, and he has to ask to see him. She is not a bad person at all, she's a great mum and i don't think she wants to keep the child from his father.

    What he wants , is to have his boy 2 nights every week he was thinking 2 weekends out of the month, then two weeknights on off weeks. She won't really work out a schedule with him.

    My question is, where does he stand, legally? Can she just keep the son from him because she's the mother? He's paying her money for the child, and they will work out an agreed amount for child support. He is going to get a lawyer this week, but was wondering if any of you had any experience with this kind of stuff.

    Thanks!!

  2. #2
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    He can go through mediation or make an urgent application to the family court for an interim hearing where she will be ordered to allow regular overnight stays.

    Mediation costs nothing. Court costs thousands!!

    The threat of court may be enough to get her moving but she can't legally keep the child from his father.

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    AvaJune  (10-07-2012)

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    Yeah he want to suggest mediation first. He's got plenty of money, so he could probably hire any lawyer he wanted.

    I just wondered in these situations, what is reasonable? How often should she be letting him see his son? They are very close, he's a very hands on dad so its killing him being apart from him.

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    In that case he needs to get onto to it straight away. For young children it's important for them to have frequent contact with the other parent but they can't be away from the primary care giver for extended periods either.

    I would think what he is asking for us very reasonable though if the mother isn't happy for the regular overnights each week then maybe he could suggest every second weekend as overnight stays and then one set day mid week (or two) where he can have bub for a few hours and do the bath, dinner routine then take bub back.

    Ultimately though, what he's asking for isn't unreasonable particularly if he is such a hands on dad as you say.

    Mediation will give him the info and suggested guidelines for the child's age though.

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    When my bro went thru this they had to go thru mediation before they could go to court.
    Court rulings are legally binding so they have to happen or there would be consequences for her ... Mediation is an agreement so if she changes her mind it's not enforceable.
    I would suggest he do mediation so he can get to court

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartiecat View Post
    When my bro went thru this they had to go thru mediation before they could go to court.
    Court rulings are legally binding so they have to happen or there would be consequences for her ... Mediation is an agreement so if she changes her mind it's not enforceable.
    I would suggest he do mediation so he can get to court
    Mediation results in parenting orders which you can send to the court to be rubber stamped and made into court orders which are then legally binding.

    You don't actually have to go to court if you can agree in mediation.

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    Be aware though if he threatens court SOME mothers then don't let the father see the child at all until there is an order in place. This happened to my brother. He took her to court and as she was the mother the court pretty much sided with her and gave him a couple of hours after work during the week and only during the day every second weekend..... You shouldnt threaten mediation is probably the way to go

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    Thank you all SO much for the replies.

    He doesn't want to "threaten" court yet, i think he's going to organise mediation, like in the next week or two.

    It just seems unfair that she can take his son away and he has no say, just because she's the mother?? They have their issues as a couple, but he's always been a wonderful father.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AvaJune View Post
    Thank you all SO much for the replies.

    He doesn't want to "threaten" court yet, i think he's going to organise mediation, like in the next week or two.

    It just seems unfair that she can take his son away and he has no say, just because she's the mother?? They have their issues as a couple, but he's always been a wonderful father.
    He has rights too ... Fathers are very important ... Would suggest he start mediation immediately but seek some legal advice now too

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    He will have to go through or at least attempt mediation first in any case, unless the court allows him an exemption.

    He should get advise from a lawyer prior to mediation if he wants to, so he can see if what he is asking would be realistic through the courts. If they agree in mediation, this agreement can be made into consent orders.


 

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